Podcast Episode 358: 3 Reasons It Isn’t Your Fault When You’re Afraid to Pursue Your Dreams (& how to overcome it) Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Abbi Miller(00:00)

The opportunity is what are you going to do with it? And that’s a huge part of the work that I do is holding someone’s hand when the fear comes up and saying, let’s build a strategy plan around this. Like let’s build a bit of an insurance plan around this so that you can’t back out because the fear is going to show up. It’s not if, it’s just when.

JoAnn Crohn (00:18)

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I am your host JoAnn Crone joined here by the very demure Brie Tucker. Very, very hello. Hello. Hello. It’s funny. We’ve had like all of the tech stuff happening this morning already, but it’s going to be such a fabulous episode that we have for you today because it’s all about overcoming challenges, which we have.

Brie Tucker (00:25)

Hello everybody, how are you?

God, it has been a morning of challenges after challenges.

JoAnn Crohn (00:46)

I mean, let’s just say like you had a migraine.

Brie Tucker (00:49)

I know and I wanted to say like I took the drugs and the drugs are working. I took the drugs and the drugs are working. It took my Ematrix and

JoAnn Crohn (00:56)

It’s always good for the drugs to be working. And then we had all the tech stuff trying to record this episode. And so we all logged off because we’re very, very afraid of our recording program that it’ll mess up the recording after you put all this effort into this amazing conversation. And then you look at your recordings, you’re like, no, they’re missing.

Brie Tucker (01:16)

You’re the one who is doing the editing. like, crap. That’s going to be six, like six different sounds that I have to work with.

Abbi Miller(01:19)

That’s it.

JoAnn Crohn (01:26)

So here today with us, we have Abbi Miller, who is a holistic biz strategist, speaker, and the founder of Work Womb and host of the Work Womb podcast. She helps heart led female creatives trust their body as their OG business coach and dodge burnout while scaling their dream biz. So if you have big dreams that you want to achieve, but you’re a little bit afraid of what it might take to get there, or maybe you are seeing some challenges already.

This is the episode for you. Let’s get on with the show.

You want mom life to be easier. That’s our goal too. Our mission is to raise more self-sufficient and independent kids and we’re going to have fun doing it. We’re going to help you delegate and step back. Each episode we’ll tackle strategies for positive discipline, making our kids more responsible and making our lives better in the process. Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast.

Welcome, Abbi to the podcast. We are so happy to have you here and I’m happy to meet you in person since we’re like in a little business group together and I was like, we aligned. We aligned.

Abbi Miller(02:46)

I know, it’s Kismet. I’m so excited and can’t wait to chat with you babes.

Brie Tucker (02:52)

Well, it’s even more kiss bit than you thought because as we’re recording you see my can’t say chiefs football behind me and you’re like, wait a minute. Are you a chiefs fan? And I’m like, yes, I grew up out there and we found that. Area of town.

Abbi Miller(03:06)

It’s amazing. I love it. We can probably dig deep. Like if we take 10 more minutes on this, we probably know like so many of the same people.

Brie Tucker (03:14)

Oh, it’s somebody in the same places. Crazy.

JoAnn Crohn (03:19)

I’ve never been to Kansas City. I feel like I need to go because a lot of conversations on the podcast go that direction and I need to get in there.

Brie Tucker (03:27)

about that I’ll say, because like not dissing on Kansas City. I love you all. I love you. I’m just wondering how much it would actually impress you based on the fact that you have been to so many other places. I’ll tell you what, if I take Miguel on the barbecue weekend trip I’m planning, I will take you and Josh. We will make it a weekend of barbecue and Plaza. Yeah, I need to take you in the winter so you can see the Plaza lights.

Abbi Miller(03:54)

Yeah. Well, how long do you go back very often,

Brie Tucker (03:58)

No, because all of my family moved out when I was in college. So I have not been back to Kansas City aside from a layover since 2002. Okay. A lot.

Abbi Miller(04:09)

some street cred because KC has had a major glow up. And I’ve lived in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, Maui, and London. Like I’ve lived in big cities. You know, like I’m not just like someone that was born there never left and is like, it’s great. Like I’ve lived all around the world and KC is magic. Speaking of unicorns, it is a magical unicorn city. The art scene is amazing. The sports scene is amazing. The food scene is amazing. Like to parent there, like living in Austin as a mama.

Brie Tucker (04:19)

my god, girl!

Abbi Miller(04:39)

The KC scene, like the kids museums and the children’s hospital and the parks, like it’s pretty, I’m just saying. There’s more than barbecue.

Brie Tucker (04:47)

Okay, I think there’s a lot more to Kansas City than I remember when I grew up there from late 90s.

JoAnn Crohn (04:52)

There might be

So Abbi, I want to dig into your life because you have some interesting tidbits I want to talk about. You were a professional actress and a competitive figure skater by age 14. Both in Kansas City? tell me about this. Were you in theater? Were you in TV? What did you do?

Abbi Miller(05:04)

Both in Kansas City. Your background’s in theater, right?

JoAnn Crohn (05:16)

Mine’s in TV. TV in Los Angeles. Yeah.

Abbi Miller(05:20)

Okay, I knew you studied theater.

JoAnn Crohn (05:21)

I did study theater, you’re right, for a year. And then I switched my major to broadcast journalism.

Abbi Miller(05:27)

Okay, amazing. Yeah, I’ve just always been a mover and performer, fell in love with dance at age four and started just taking every class, performing. And then, you know, I’m a loud person, I have a lot to say and people were like, you should be in musicals because you dance and you like to perform. So just started doing community theater, fell in love with it, started taking acting classes. Kansas City has a really cool theater. They’re called the Coterie Theater, which is a nationally recognized children’s theater. They’ve won all these awards. It’s amazing.

and started acting. I think I got my first show when I was like 15 that was paid. And so a couple of different theaters in KC. By 15, I had an agent and was doing, because Kansas City, okay, this is a very, very KC, it’s like a KC love letter right now. But there’s actually, we’re considered more of a neutral dialect. And so there’s a really big voiceover and commercial scene there, even more than New York. mean, not more, but different. Like,

Yeah, because when I lived in Chicago, I was really surprised about the voiceover scene there because there’s like more of a dialect. so KC gets a lot of kind of high level voiceover work. So anyway, yeah, I started doing commercials and voiceovers and yeah, it was just such a blast.

JoAnn Crohn (06:41)

And then you

booked your first international Broadway tour, like at 19. Like what show did you do?

Abbi Miller(06:48)

Yeah, so I moved to New York City when I was 18, or actually I think like two months after I turned 19. And because I had been working professionally by that time, like for five years, I was just like used to being paid. And my brilliant parents were like, like I had already applied to all these universities and toured, I was going to go get a degree in musical theater. And they’re like, wait, you already like, you already have an agent, you already have experience, you have a resume, why not just go see if you can swim with the big fish? And so I actually just moved to New York, started auditioning. And I mean, it’s a

wild, wild survival of the fittest, insane world out there. But yeah, I booked a show when I was 19 and did, yeah, did the tour of Greece, the music.

JoAnn Crohn (07:28)

That’s fun! Who were you in Greece?

Brie Tucker (07:32)

You

Abbi Miller(07:32)

Yeah,

it was so fun. on the tour, I was a swing. So I covered for Patti, who’s like the obnoxious cheerleader that’s like, don’t you laugh at first school? then Yes, the blonde, like, yes. And then Cha-Cha, who’s the dancer. But in the movie, she’s like a sexy older, isn’t she from like a different school or something? Oh my God. I’m like, you know that. I feel so seen.

JoAnn Crohn (07:41)

Yeah!

Brie Tucker (07:44)

Hi, Pony!

She’s my fernadette!

Abbi Miller(08:01)

But in the Broadway show, she’s a little rough around the edges. She’s not supposed to be a babe. She’s like very obnoxious, but she’s a sick dancer. So it was a very fun, yeah, very fun part to play when I had the chance to.

JoAnn Crohn (08:13)

Sweet. You have had so many experiences. Abbi, you’ve been all around the world. You had an international adventure business. Like, what is an international adventure business?

Abbi Miller(08:25)

Yeah. Well, so I think I just caught the travel bug at a young age. So I grew up homeschooling and there’s like a subset of homeschooling called unschooling. Have you guys heard of this term? Okay. So my parents were of the belief that like, if we’re going to be as radical as to take you out of school, let’s go do some cool shit. And so

JoAnn Crohn (08:36)

We have heard about schooling.

Abbi Miller(08:46)

I mean, I was very privileged and I have really cool parents that were like, let’s put you in skating lessons. Let’s put you in dance lessons. Let’s get you out there in the world. So I traveled a lot, like, you know, road trips as a kiddo. And then just like loved travel. And so I had the tour of Greece, the Broadway show was Southeast Asian tour. So here I am 19, living in Seoul, Korea. I mean, it was wild. And this is like, Skype was.

just been born, you know, was like, there was no video Skype. You could like kind of call your mom with like a Skype credit, you know, it was just like a different day. But yeah, so had that whole season of life and a buddy of mine, Blake Bowles approached me about creating international venture company for homeschool teens because he had the same observation, like, wait, these people are out of school. They can travel at like off season when it’s less expensive. And also like, you’re not gonna go to school with go do some cool stuff, like kind of a similar belief.

And so we birthed a company called Unschooled Adventures, which still exists to this day.

JoAnn Crohn (09:44)

That’s so cool!

Brie Tucker (09:46)

I know! Man. Yeah.

Abbi Miller(09:49)

I mean, it’s crazy, you guys, because I was 23. And now looking back, I’m like, people trusted me with their children. Yeah, right? You know, it’s one thing to be a camp counselor in your home state for like five days in a campsite. It’s another thing to be like, hi, I’m going to take your minor to Argentina, and we’re going to study tango in Spanish for seven weeks. Like, bye. know, so. Well, I think.

JoAnn Crohn (10:16)

really said something about this imposter syndrome that all of us have. here you were at 23, you had no experience taking kids anywhere. You had a little experience traveling, but you just decided you had this idea and you went to go do it. And I think that’s something that a lot of us get hung up on when we have these big ideas. We get in our way so often we’re like, oh, but I don’t have this experience. I bet I don’t have this experience. My whole

like saying, say to myself so often that I’m trying to rewrite is, I’m not a doctor. don’t have a medical credential. I don’t have a therapist credential. All these excuses we put in our way when we have these big things and you just went for it.

Abbi Miller(10:59)

Yeah, totally. know. it’s like, the older you get, the more questions you start to have about your past self. But yeah, I think, I mean, again, it was my buddy’s idea. He approached me. I love to travel. We had both been really plugged into like, as a homeschooler was kind of traveling the circuit as an adult homeschooler, like speaking at conferences and things like this as, you know, someone who had really loved their upbringing. And so we were really tapped into that community and he was like, let’s do it. And I think we just truly were like, cool, let’s hire a lawyer and get a contract.

Let’s book, I mean, this was like, you guys, this was before Airbnb, you know? And we’re like calling travel agents in Argentina booking an apartment. You know what I mean? It was just like, actually so much harder then too. We didn’t have Google Translate. We don’t know what we’re doing. But yeah, I think like that is something that people will never know. Was it inborn? Was it something my parents nurtured in me? But I do think I’ve always had this like ferocity and this feeling of just like, oh, let’s just like, let’s just try it. Let’s go for it. And I think just.

JoAnn Crohn (11:57)

Yeah, fry it, just go for it, just figure it out. Well, we’re going to dig into some of those things and like challenges you’ve had along the way and also like how things changed when you became a mom. Yes. Right after this. 

right before the break, Abbi, like you told us all these adventures you had and how you just like went for the things that, you know, were on your mind and your ideas. What changed for you that you noticed?

when you became a mom in regards to pursuing these ideas and big adventures, or did any?

Brie Tucker (12:33)

Did you still take a group of,

Abbi Miller(12:35)

My first art done that since motherhood. actually, so my buddy runs the company. ended up resigning. He bought me out. So he’s, he’s continued to run the company. That is all his now, but I actually did move on to lead yoga retreats. So I’ve been doing, you know, my own version of travel and now I run a somatic biz retreat for entrepreneurs. So my work now is as a holistic, this strategist, as you mentioned earlier. And so I was running that biz for 10 years, maybe in some change before my kiddo came along. So I have one girl, she’s almost five.

and she was born in lockdown. So.

Brie Tucker (13:13)

Those are hard. have a neighbor that had that and it just my heart broke for her. Because during my first pregnancy, I was hospitalized for like a couple of months. I cannot imagine the stress that that everybody went through that went through any degree of a pregnancy, let alone labor delivery and raising a kid during the lockdown. That was hard. That had to be hard to lose so much of your community.

Abbi Miller(13:39)

Yeah, I mean, was light changing, right? Like my nervous system has been rewired where I’m a new person. mean, just totally insane. And I like we had a very emergent birth story, just unrelated to COVID. But then COVID was just like another layer on it. Yeah. But you know what I will say is, I mean, we’re talk about not giving up back to the question of imposter syndrome. You know, my daughter’s fierce and she’s here. She made it. She survived. I survived the birth and What shifted for me, my work as a biz strategist and biz coach has always been coaching leading masterminds, leading groups of creative women, solopreneurs, artists. And I could kind of like spread myself a bit thin as the maiden, right? Because I’m like, no, I’ll just like pull an all nighter. I’ll just. you know, I led lots of retreats and I would just be like, I’ll play on the night before. I’ll just stay up late, right? And then suddenly you have a tiny person that needs you and has like their own rhythm and it all changed. And I would say for me, going back to work in late 2020 was such an eye opener. And I had this full intuitive hit. I remember I was nursing my daughter at like three in the morning, you know, and I was just not okay. I was exhausted. I remember just sitting there crying and I was like, I don’t know how I can. do this, how I can be a working mama. And it’s like, already, like the work from home life can be isolating. And then it’s like, you’re moming from home, you’re working from home, we’ve just somewhat emerged from a pandemic, like what’s even happening. And I just had this full intuitive hit of like, and my brand was always Abbimiller.com. That was my brand, it was just self branded. And I was like, this is not a me, this is a we. And I just knew it. The next day I woke up, I was like, I’m rebranding.

This is not the question you asked, but I promise I’m getting there. So this concept, I was like, what do I do? What is the work that I do? And I was like, it’s about helping women feel a sense of togetherness in their work, in their creative practice. And I was like thinking of the metaphor. I mean, I can’t even explain it. It dropped in my mind. Just work womb. As I’m nursing her, was like, it’s like a womb. All you do in a womb is hang out and get nourished. and become who you’re gonna be. That’s all you do in a womb, right? And so was like, this metaphor of like a work womb, like a sacred safe space where someone else is nourishing you and you get to receive and become who you are. So that was the metaphor and continues to be the metaphor of work womb. And I will say, so like I had that download and I just knew, so was like, know, visually I had the rebrand, but also team-wise, everything changed. Cause I was like, this is not a one woman show. I had had like, a VA here or there, like designer here or there, but I had to totally change, I call it your biz family tree, and just like ruthlessly hire. And by ruthless, I mean my inner budgeter was like, ugh! But I just knew, I was like, this is a together kind of thing. I need way more support if I’m gonna keep working at the caliber I wanna be working.

Brie Tucker (16:39)

That’s a heart.

JoAnn Crohn (16:40)

That is such an important point because I feel like a lot of us feel like we have to do it on our own. And if we can’t do it on our own and if we can’t make the situation work, then like something is inherently wrong with us. Right? Like, freeze like me. Me. No, I don’t.

Brie Tucker (16:54)

It’s like we have this conversation all the time between the two of us, right Joanne? Like within our company, like me say like, I failed at this because it wasn’t like perfect. And Joanne’s like, no, no, it’s fine. And then Joanne will be like, I suck at writing this. And I’m like, no, no, it’s great. Like it is.

Abbi Miller(17:12)

Those people in your life. We definitely need as parents, we need it as biz owners. There are so many like crossovers, you know what I mean? And I feel like the thing that I noticed the most now being a mama in the mom community and having been an entrepreneur, like as you know my upbringing now, like I’ve always been, you know, acting and like at least self-employed, like a freelancer, if you will, kind of, if not self-employed, is like, is that, it’s that question of does everybody go?

this way? Is there something wrong with me? And I feel like in a lot of ways, that’s the gift that I get to give people is normalizing like, no, that’s hard. This is hard. Yep. Sometimes Riverside is a butthole and it doesn’t work and it’s not you. It’s just like normalizing it all the time. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (17:57)

Yes. And for all of you listening, Riverside

Abbi Miller(18:00)

And it’s not about how love it, I use it. so you

Brie Tucker (18:05)

fantastic except for what it’s not.

JoAnn Crohn (18:08)

I mean, yeah, yeah. But it’s interesting, this whole thing of thinking that we have to do it alone, because I know we had another guest on Kendra Adashi, who writes The Lazy Genius. And she was talking about how all the productivity advice out there is written by men. And we are taking this productivity advice as women, but we don’t exactly have the same needs, nor are we set up in society or culture the same way.

as men are. Like men are kind of just universally accepted, I feel. If they have a big idea, if they have anything, it’s like, I’m a man, I have authority. Where, I mean, this is how I see it. Whereas women, we really need that support and community to thrive. I would argue men need it too, but they don’t have the same kind of stereotypes against them as women do.

Brie Tucker (19:03)

But I come share with Abbi, what is your husband’s favorite line to tell you when you’re feeling unsure about something?

Abbi Miller(19:16)

thinking of, just had a client say it yesterday. We were like, what’s your New Year’s mojo? She was like, just gonna live my year like a mediocre white man in clay.

JoAnn Crohn (19:23)

That’s pretty awesome. That’s pretty awesome. know that so many people in the No Get Bump community, they have these ideas and things that they put on the back burner and they think that their kids need to move out of the house or like get older before they even achieve them. So right after this break, I want to go into that with you and especially your mantra about letting your freak flag fly. So we’re going to talk about this right after this.

So let’s talk about like these big ideas people have because there’s so much fear, Abbi, that I’m seeing going into big ideas. Like whether women want to start a business, whether they want to write a book, whether they want to like create their own homestead and raise chickens, like whatever they want to do, there is this fear of being judged or I mean, I’ve had the fear too of being abandoned by your friends and being told that it’s like,

dumb and you’re wasting your time going after something, you have something about letting your freak flag fly. Tell us about that.

Brie Tucker (20:33)

Don’t say it

Abbi Miller(20:41)

Yeah, I feel like you have to wrap it to get it out. Yeah, totally. And back to the imposter syndrome, I think that that’s very normal, right? Like we are tribal beings, even though that’s not how we continue to live, at least in the United States. But I believe that there is, like we are communal beings, you know? And so of course you want approval by your, you want to know your neighbor, you want to feel safe, you want to fit in. That’s like a survival instinct. And I think that the nature,

of entrepreneurship is that you are literally going to succeed because you are innovating. And when you’re innovating, you’re stepping into what’s considered a white space, i.e. a gap in the market, that you’re doing something differently. And so the thing is, like, you can’t look in the rear view mirror and be like, hey, look at all these people behind me who have already done the thing I’m doing. It’s like, no, all you have is the horizon because you are pioneering it.

And this is why I run a mastermind. This is why I mentor high level creative and entrepreneurs is because it can be so lonely because all you’re doing is looking at where you’re going and there’s nobody else that’s like, yes, I’ve done that exact thing. you know, so I think that like the freak flag piece is like, I think it’s born out of self-knowledge, right? It’s like knowing, you know, if we’re talking about

Of course, my work, I I spent all day peeking behind the curtain of businesses, right? So like within my context, I’m thinking of it as owning a biz and that kind of angle. And it’s like, I think again, normalizing the fear. And then we just have to stop and tell our cute little reptilian brain, okay, you’re just trying to survive. Yeah, you’re cool. You actually are going to survive even if you homestead or even if you launch a new podcast or even if you make this choice. And so.

the discomfort is actually my body telling me that I’m honoring my truth. Because when we go along with what everyone else tells us, that’s easy because there’s a formula for that. There’s a very well-paved road for that. But when you’re like, think I’m to do this thing, but I’m going to do it this way. That’s weird. That is a sign that you’re innovating. like, you know, I think of

Dana Flynn, who’s like one of my mentors. love her. She is a yoga teacher. She owned a yoga studio in New York City, New Orleans and San Francisco. They were all open for, I don’t know, 20, 25 years. They all closed during COVID. I know yoga studios, man, during that pandemic, RIP. she’s amazing. Definitely like a celebrity in the yoga world. And what I love, I’ll share her story because I feel like it’s relevant. She was an MTV DJ and very successful in the game.

Brie Tucker (23:21)

What’s her name again?

Abbi Miller(23:22)

So this is like in the 80s. Dana Trixie Flynn, she might have gone by Trixie. Well, you have to Google it. But she was an MTV VJ. She was a Wall Street stockbroker, turned MTV VJ.

Brie Tucker (23:32)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (23:34)

Seems like everybody has those stories who are like MTV BJs or like Peloton instructors. I worked in finance and now I’m teaching Peloton. know the normal-

Abbi Miller(23:44)

pipeline, Wall Street DJ Yogi, right? But she’s so inspiring because she ended up becoming an addict. I don’t know if it was just cocaine or alcohol or many other things, but just in that music world. And part of her sobriety was finding yoga and ended up moving to India studying yoga for years and years. And then finally, when she came back to New York, she like had this craft in this practice that she was in love with. But then she was seeing

know, yoga was still kind of new in the West, but it was like the studios were just white and quiet. And she’s like, this is not how I to yoga. And you guys, when I found her yoga studio, it’s like neon covered with glitter. You walk in and like Missy Elliott is blaring. Nobody was doing that in the nineties. Nobody was doing that. Yoga was like serious. Yeah. And I just think of her as such an outlier and such an innovator. And I like love her story because I think we can all think about like, no, you can’t do that. Yoga is boring. Yoga is quiet. Whatever the… belief we have had around it, you know?

Brie Tucker (24:43)

Whatever stereotypical yoga thoughts you have, can be broken.

Abbi Miller(24:47)

And it was like the fact that she mixed Missy Elliott, yoga, neon colors and glitter and with her co-founder Jasmine Tarkeshi, they became like massive successes. And we know that in every, know, think about any artist you love, any musical artists. It’s like, so I feel like, I feel like I probably answered the question, but it’s like honoring that that feeling, that fear is never gonna go away.

And so I actually like to just directly name it whether you’re like talking yourself or you’re talking to your biz coach like There’s the fear again, and they’re That’s cute. Okay. What are we gonna do with it now?

JoAnn Crohn (25:21)

It’s true. There is that fear whenever you put out something. I used to have that fear as well. I was a teacher before I started No Guilt Mom. Before that, I worked in the entertainment business. What I found is that usually when you put out something new, there are more people there who are cheering you on and supporting you than are trying to knock you down. It’s a really scary thing to put something out there at first because you don’t realize that’s going to happen.

And you also don’t realize, I don’t know if this has been your experience too, Abbi, but like the people who knock you down, you look at them and you’re like, sorry, lives. Like, why are they even taking the time to say this to me? Like, I wouldn’t take the time to knock somebody else down online. Like, obviously there’s something going on.

Abbi Miller(26:09)

my gosh, the troll, and I haven’t ever had like real big trolls, knock on wood. The times I have had pretty overt criticism, like on social. It’s someone that, like, I’m not even gonna like say where they work, so I don’t wanna, you know, dog them, but it’s like, there’s no entrepreneurial bone in their body. Like, it’s not like they have a side hustle, nothing, nothing. And it’s like, okay, one of my favorite poets in the whole world, it’s Dr. Seuss. Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter,

don’t mind. Yes. And it’s kind of like a Brene Brown quote, she’s quoting, you know, the like, Daring Greatly, where she talks about, if you’re not in the stadium with me, I don’t like if you’re not bleeding and sweating and in the stadium with me, I actually don’t care what your opinion is. And I think that’s it, you know, and it’s tricky, like in this day and age with the internet. have any time we are whether it’s I mean, I think it’s harder when it’s our own self thinking that if it’s a troll, you can delete it and be like, goodbye. If it is when your own self is starting to turn inward and have that judgment that I think is the trick.

JoAnn Crohn (27:09)

That is the tricky part. it’s your self-talk, that’s talking about that. also with trolls though, and trolls are just like anybody online who says something negative to you. It’s also an energy choice, I feel, because either you can fight back the troll, but that takes so much of your energy that you could give to something else. Or even every time I’ve tried to react to somebody to help them see my way of things, I’m always drained. Always drained.

You

Brie Tucker (27:39)

You said

something to me the other day, I was upset about something that came across our table and you were like, I refuse to allow them to steal my. And I was like, you know what? Yeah. I’m going to try to use that a lot more. When I read somebody like writing something negative, I’m like, I refuse to allow their toxicity to my positivity.

JoAnn Crohn (27:46)

Yes

Out up.

Abbi Miller(28:00)

I love that so much. And I just think golden rule. What would it take for me to post an overtly critical and negative comment on someone I don’t, I mean on anyone, but on someone I don’t know’s Instagram, it would not even cross my mind. I would be like unfollow. If what you’re creating is triggering me or like not cool, would literally, I’ve never in my life been like, well, Lenin. You know, so it’s like, this person is suffering. This hurt people, hurt people. Whoever’s posting that is, yeah.

on their

JoAnn Crohn (28:31)

Sure are. Yes. So we’ve talked about like so many challenges people are facing with taking their big idea and actually having action on it from like the worry about what other people will say to worrying like the next steps about what they may be or even if they feel unqualified for the role. What do you want to leave them with Abbi? These women out there listening in podcast land who have dreams of like writing a book or doing something.

big, are just like afraid. What can you leave them with?

Abbi Miller(29:06)

You feel the fear and do it anyway. So I have a legit shark phobia. Like literally when I was a kid, I wouldn’t get in a swimming pool because I thought a shark could get in. And I remember when I was in Australia with my adventure company, everybody wanted to go surfing. And I had never gotten in the water below my waist because shark phobia. I was like, you’re never going to be on the freaking Gold Coast of Australia again. Or maybe not, who knows. But like, girl.

this is your time. And we hired a surf instructor and I was like, I’m never gonna not be afraid of sharks. And I just told everyone in the group, hey guys, I’m like freakishly afraid. Like it’s a phobia, like I’m like incoherently afraid of sharks. I’m gonna scream the entire time we’re in the water, just ignore me, like let me do my thing. But like, just so you know, I’m gonna look like a crazy person. And they’re all like, okay. And so I’m on the board, I’m paddling and I’m just like, I’m not gonna scream in the mic, but I’m like, ah, and I’m just paddling and freaking out and I’m losing my mind. like, I’m gonna die, I’m about to die.

And you guys, I fell in love with surfing. I was like, this is the most fun, but guess what? Every second in the water, I was like, I love this. Our shark is gonna eat me. I love this, I’m about to die. It never went away.

JoAnn Crohn (30:14)

Are you still?

Abbi Miller(30:20)

You guys, I just led a retreat in Mexico. went to like my, again, my belly button in the water. What is my mind thinking the entire time? A shark is gonna eat you. It’s not a rational thing. It’s some coding in my body. don’t even understand.

Brie Tucker (30:32)

My daughter has the exact same thing as I am smiling. Like she wouldn’t even get a bath.

Abbi Miller(30:36)

for a while. And I just say, if we wait for the fear to go away, we miss our life. And that is what I want to say.

JoAnn Crohn (30:45)

Right after that.

Abbi Miller(30:47)

It’s just normalizing the fear and saying, okay, the fear is gonna show up. The opportunity is what are gonna do with it? And that’s a huge part of the work that I do is holding someone’s hand when the fear comes up and saying, let’s build a strategy plan around this. Like let’s build a bit of an insurance plan around this so that you can’t back out because the fear is gonna show up. It’s not if, it’s just when.

JoAnn Crohn (31:11)

Yes, yes, yes. That is like what I live my life by as well. If I feel like I’m gonna throw up, I’m going in the right direction. That’s actually my mantra. I’m like, oh, I a little. That’s the way.

Brie Tucker (31:22)

We’re going. Okay, so like the two of you are besties and I’m the one that’s just kind of getting dragged.

JoAnn Crohn (31:30)

You have like really opened up to all new experiences

Brie Tucker (31:36)

open up yet well cuz you’re dragging me behind joy I was like we’re gonna do this together and I’m like okay

JoAnn Crohn (31:41)

It’s been good. It’s all been good. So Abbi, what are you excited about that’s coming up in your life right now?

Abbi Miller(31:48)

Yeah, my gosh, so many things. I mean, through my work, I run the most incredible mastermind of creatives, artists, solopreneurs, freelancers, and we meet every single week. And the devotion here is really like stepping out of the work from home, like especially work from home mama isolation and letting your work be fun, letting it be seen. And kind of like we were talking with our tech issues at the start of the episode, it’s like jumping out of the DIY trap, the do it yourself trap.

Because if you want to streamline and scale your biz, it’s a people problem. It’s a people opportunity, right? It’s like who, not how. Like who can you bring in? How can you get support? We’ve all heard the term. It’s like your net work is your net worth. And so I love, I love, it’s called the elevated circle. And so I’m planning some new, exciting things, some like IRL components, my retreat, et cetera. So that is what like almost all my love is going to outside of, you my child and my family.

JoAnn Crohn (32:47)

Yeah, that is so exciting. It’s been lovely talking to you, Abbi. You’re such a bright light and you make me so excited and optimistic about the dreams I’m pursuing as well. So thank you so, so much for coming on and we’ll talk to you later.

Abbi Miller(33:03)

Thank you so much. And I’ll just say if anyone listening feels inspired to connect, if this has lit a fire under your booty, I would love to gift a free consult so we can chat and see if I can help support their fizz magic. Free b-

Brie Tucker (33:16)

I am on board.

JoAnn Crohn (33:18)

And that link is right in the show notes. And we’ll talk to you soon.

Abbi Miller(33:23)

Thanks, ladies.

Brie Tucker (33:26)

I gotta say, I mentioned it before, but the two of you, you and Abbi, are twins when it comes to energy.

JoAnn Crohn (33:35)

I thought she was so energetic. I really actually admired her energy and I’m like, I wish I could be like, you

Brie Tucker (33:40)

are like that. trust me, you are. When you are, that is the Joanne I see when you’re like, Bri, I got this new idea. You that, that, that, that, like, and I also talk about, I mean, she talks about like, if you’re not feeling the fear, then you’re not in the right spot, which I hear you like say that all the time. Like if you don’t feel sick to your stomach, then you’re not pushing hard enough.

JoAnn Crohn (34:02)

Your show’s so sadistic, but I swear, it’s a good thing.

Brie Tucker (34:06)

again, think because of the energy and the passion and that fear slash no fear of the unknown, like in my head, I see you and I as a comic strip where you’re like running a million miles an hour, all happy with like all of this stuff around you. And my arms just being dragged right behind you because I have done so many more things that I am afraid of and or never in a million years could have imagined I could accomplish.

because of you, your energy and your ideas.

JoAnn Crohn (34:39)

Thank you. That makes me feel good.

Brie Tucker (34:42)

both and both of you so much. I’m like, okay, yeah, they are going to be besties if we ever get together in person. It’ll be the two of you and then I’ll be walking behind you.

JoAnn Crohn (34:52)

You are totally in it as well. I mean, it’s not like there’s not any fear. Like sometimes like I feel like my fear is bigger that I won’t do the thing than it is of doing the thing. Like I really take to heart all of those news articles you see and stories about like the regrets of the dying and like laying on your deathbed. And even though it sounds really, really dark, I’m like, I look back at my life and the things I regret are what I did not do versus what I did do. Some things I did and they didn’t work out, but they’ve always been learning experiences or like have helped me in some way, given me some sort of information. But like the things I didn’t do, I mean, I talk about blowing like the Warner Brothers appointment. It was like when I was not my true self, when I did not put myself out there and did what I thought everybody else expected of me. That’s what I regret.

And so, I mean, that’s how I live my life now, trying to do the things.

Brie Tucker (35:54)

I think you’re there. I think that you are definitely there. think, yeah, again, like I just want to see you and Abbi. We need to go to happy hour together, the three of us. Take that weekend trip to Kansas City for barbecue. That’s what it is. you go.

JoAnn Crohn (36:03)

Or maybe we just-

yeah, there you go. Get some barbecue. Well, if you’re thinking of pursuing really big things, we hope this episode really encourages you to step out of your comfort zone a bit and embrace fear and just do things anyways and feel like you’re going to throw up. So throw up in a good way. Like I say in our VIP retreats, like to my people, I’m like, you’re all going to cry in a good way. I’m going to make you cry in a good way. Always.

Brie Tucker (36:23)

If they’re up in a good way, people.

JoAnn Crohn (36:36)

So until next time, remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker (36:41)

Thanks for stopping by.