Podcast Episode 258: 2 Essential Habits to Bring You More Happiness Transcript

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Nithya Karia: Really using curiosity, it just, it saves us so much energy and more likely to get the outcomes that we want. Whether it’s the way we see ourselves, the way we see someone else and what actually happens in the situation.

JoAnn Crohn: Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I am your host, JoAnn Crohn. Joining me here is the wonderful Brie Tucker from my guest room.

Brie Tucker: Hello, hello, everybody. How are you? I know, right? We have had a lot of struggles in the last 48 hours, mainly due to Brie’s internet.

JoAnn Crohn: And if you want to hear them, we are going to talk about them in the interview today. So we really get down because it was like a big challenge all today. I feel like for this interview with the wonderful Nithya Karia, because it was like, It’s just living in the messy biddle and not being perfect. And you can’t expect things to be perfect. You just have to accept them as they are and go through the best you can. And I think that this podcast episode is the best example of that one.

Brie Tucker: I don’t think it could have happened to a better guest and a better message that she was delivering.

JoAnn Crohn: Exactly. You are going to hear so much good stuff in here. Nithya Kariya is a speaker, author, and coach who helps women consistently prioritize their wellbeing without guilt so they can live their life and feel good. Her high vibe habits help them live without the stress that blocks them from experiencing the life.

They want, she wants you to get happy on purpose and listen in this episode for Nithya’s two habits that she recommends you start practicing right now so that you can start receiving happiness instead of just giving it to everyone around you. So we hope you enjoy this episode and now on with the show.

 Oh, okay. We’re gonna, Nithya, welcome. Good morning.

Brie Tucker: Sorry. 

JoAnn Crohn: Now I’m gonna be laughing so hard, Nithya. I think we need to start this podcast episode to just let people know how they can live in this messy middle and how nothing is perfect, because I think we proved that nothing is perfect this morning. what was the struggle you just had to go through?

Nithya Karia: have been updating, apparently, my computer, which is way too old and has now taken like 18 minutes for us just to be able to see each other.

Brie Tucker: We’ve been there, though. We’ve been there on that end, too. Trust me. that’s what, JoAnn, like, had that with her computer, plus the fact that her computer loved to miraculously just be like, nope, I’m gonna, I’m turning off now. I’m turning off. Remember? 

JoAnn Crohn: yo, yeah, that was a faulty cable I found. There’s always a reason with technology, always. But, dealing with the messiness and trying to go through it until you find that reason is so frustrating. Which, Brie’s going through it right now, which is why she’s in my guest room currently recording. I’m gonna go get 

Brie Tucker: I’m over at JoAnn’s. Thank goodness for portable mics and laptops. it. makes this work, because 

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Nithya Karia: Yeah,

Brie Tucker: to be interesting. 

JoAnn Crohn: Exactly. But Nithya, I think it’s so important to talk about like mistakes in the messy middle, because you have been in our past two summits and you talk all about happiness and finding that happiness, particularly as a mom. And I know that you’ve had such a fascinating career and life that I know. So before you got into this area, you were a fashion designer, right?

Nithya Karia: I was slash still am JoAnn. So yeah, it’s a second business that I have actually.

JoAnn Crohn: What do you design?

Nithya Karia: Yeah, right now I have a business partner and we’re actually launching something in the medical field, but that’s fashion based. So

JoAnn Crohn: sounds very interesting. I am intrigued,

Brie Tucker: excited about it, but it’s still, in the developmental phase. So we’re not really,All you can say is, it’s coming. You can say it’s coming. 

JoAnn Crohn: saying, you’re like, JoAnn, I can’t answer any more questions about it. Wink, wink.

Nithya Karia: yeah, exactly.

JoAnn Crohn: gotcha.

Nithya Karia: You got me, you got me up.

JoAnn Crohn: So how did you start working in this field of happiness and helping people develop that?

Nithya Karia: Yeah. You know, I actually want to thank you for bringing up the fashion design piece, because I feel like it used to be something that, it was really exciting, but also it was something I was like secretly, You know had a whole nother set of thoughts around like people didn’t think i’m smart because I was a designer people did You know all this other stuff. about you know Anyway, how I see myself really or how i’m afraid someone else is going to see me and so thanks for bringing it up because it is something that Really does represent my whole journey because I think i’ve been on a journey trying to help women show up Just as themselves feeling really confident and really contributing to this happiness piece First from an external kind of point of view of when we put something on how does it make us feel and I really feel like what I do now is an evolution of where I came from.

And now I really get to work on the internal components of how do we get to offer ourselves this thing. And. Because that is the truth, right? It is, the myth is that it comes and it goes, that it’s just not here, that we have to work so hard to create it, when really the goal, and just like you were saying this morning when we started this, right, that if it can’t be something outside of us because something always happens.

So it gets to be something. This was such A good practice even for me as I’m watching this update bar go and I’m like, Oh my gosh, this is so slow and they’re probably getting so upset. And you know, like all the thoughts we can have around what we can’t control. And then just coming back to, well, this is where we are. And I sure hope it works, but here we 

JoAnn Crohn: so interesting. It was so interesting that we have these thoughts because we do all have these thoughts that people are getting upset and on the other side of the camera. I could tell you like I was arguing on Instagram while you which I should not do. I should not go into that depth where people are just so critical and unwilling to hear your opinion and you feel like you have to defend yourself.

I’m going to fight. It’s hard. It’s interesting that you mentioned this thing about not wanting to talk about being a fashion designer, because people would think less of you. We were just talking yesterday with Chelsie Gooden, who wrote a book about the power of teenage girls. It was called Underestimated.

and In the book, she talks specifically how teenage girls today have a very different thought of what like being a strong woman is compared to our generation, like our generation. We are like, they won’t take me seriously. They’ll think I’m like capricious. They’ll like, they’ll think like I’m just fluff or whatever, if you’re interested in fashion or beauty or anything.

And the girls today are saying that they could be both. They could be both interested in the beauty, they could be interested in the fashion. They could do everything and they could be like hella smart and intelligent and have these great discussions. So I thought it was interesting because that does appear a lot for us

Nithya Karia: I love that. Yep. That’s so good to hear.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, it’s such a, so, so good. Um, what, uh, like, so you got into this field of happiness and seeing it’s something from the outside really that a lot of people look at to think that they cause it causes happiness. And I’ve done that before in my journey. You like have a goal in the future, be it like writing a book or maybe it’s like a goal in your company, or maybe it’s like losing some weight and you think getting to that goal is going to make you happy. What have you seen in that?

Nithya Karia: Yeah, I lived that JoAnn. I lived that, that checking the boxes and the belief that You know, it was going to be like this by product, but a natural, an obvious by product of making all of the other right decisions and, getting good grades, making sure people like me doing all the things, living in a certain place, having my kids go to a certain school, all of the things when, it took me some, you know, I feel like something always big has to happen to really shake us out of this.

You know this kind of really well well grooved path that we’re in and we’re in it so deep that we feel like This has to work or I have just spent my whole life doing what like it’s just so frustrating right Irritating and You want it to be true this dream that you have in your head?

And the truth is it’s like I just I did my husband was in an accident and I was just faced literally instantly with this idea that just like like how long am I realistically going to give myself that i’m going to keep believing in this idea that oh If I just do more that’s going to be the answer and it was just you know this process and You know all the coaching and the learning and the re education Around understanding that happiness is really a perspective and it’s something that we offer ourselves and by being able to prioritize ourselves, which is how we get to stay in this feel good state is actually, it makes all the other decisions that we get up in the morning and try so hard to do. It just makes them all easier because we’re actually right. We have the energy, we have the perspective. We have. The control essentially that we are looking so hard for, in the other things.

JoAnn Crohn: I want to hear a little bit more about your thought process during that time when your husband was in the accident and you let go of this idea that if you just do more. So what were you trying to do more of then and how did that change?

Nithya Karia: I was flooded. It was like the thing I feel like as a driven woman, right? As somebody, it was what I knew how to do. That is how I solved all of my problems. It’s I’ll just work harder. Oh, I’ll do more. I brewed fresh herbs, for him, for the inflammation. He was hit by a car and his leg was run over and he’s made a full recovery.

But,I was just like, I’m doing this naturally. We’re going to try to avoid this. We’re going to do it. Yeah. You know, I’m going to take my kids to school. All the meals are still going to be home cooked. I’m not going to ask for help. I didn’t even tell my best friend, like nobody in my, my mom knew.

And it was just like something that I just. Was holding on to control so tightly of everything that I could do But what I found was it was just like a bit like scrooge You know how he has a growth the ghost of christmas future that comes to visit him and what I saw it was like an out of body experience over these like a couple of months of just watching myself just What felt like literally fade away and I was like, this is what’s gonna happen to me.

It was like this scary aha of This could take 40 years You To, fully manifest, but I can see this happening right now. Like in front of me, this feeling of like, I am nothing. My life feels like nothing but a to do list. I had was giving so much. I couldn’t, it was actually really hard to love my husband in that moment.

Cause I was like doing the dishes and doing, you know, okay, feed him and he couldn’t move. Right. So it was like, he’d eat and then the dish would be sitting right there on the coffee table. And I think for any of us who do like domestic work, right. In any way, shape or form, it’s just, it’s frustrating. And you’re like, but I just left.

I’ve been commuting for three hours back and forth, taking kids to preschool and then to first grade and drop offs and pickups and groceries and all of the stuff that we do daily, right? It was just like on this hyper fast forward and I just felt what was the point? Because I loved I love my husband.

I want to be a mother and a family and none of it was bringing me joy. It was just this, like everything I looked at was like, I have to do something. Right. And it’s just, it, it wasn’t who I was and I knew that, right? I’m a joyful person. I’m a really positive, upbeat person. And I love loving people. Like it’s really something that I enjoy. And that was the thing. There was just zero joy left in all of it.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. And I think that a lot of people can identify with feeling their life is one big to do list and just things that they have to get through. And if they get through all the things, then that’s the thing that’s going to be in them joy. what was the twist? what were the first actions that you took to get you out of that place of seeing it as a complete to do list and then moving into joy?

And want to hold that question because we are going to hear about it right after this break. So Nithya, you were telling us about this time in your life where you were taking care of your husband after he was in an accident and your life was just one big to do list. So I want to know, like, what were the first steps? Steps you took to get out of this feeling like you just have all these things to do to moving more towards happiness and joy

Nithya Karia: Yeah. I think Joanna, it was really starting to ask the questions, right? The things that I didn’t want to ask before, like I didn’t want to give myself the permission, right? And I didn’t feel like it was okay. And, to even say like, what’s really like one, there’s a problem, right? Like I just had to admit that this wasn’t working.

Like I wasn’t happy. And I had to get over the fact that how could you not be grateful for everything you have and for the outcome, right? He’s safe. He’s going to be okay. We know in the end and realizing that gratefulness couldn’t be my ceiling. Like it just, that’s, it was just this growing sense, really, of by stepping back and just saying, okay, what if.

It could be different. Just what if, what if I just said, I don’t know what it looks like. There’s got to be another way. And just starting to ask myself that question just made me hear so many of my thoughts. And, I did certifications. I went through coaching and, did all sorts of stuff and dabbled in neuroscience and, you know, neuroplasticity and health coaching, and just really started to see the common thread here. About not just, you know, the connection between my body was telling me all the time. What I realized was for, the 30 some years, even before that accident happened,

JoAnn Crohn: What were what was your body telling

Nithya Karia: right. I mean, I had suffered from what I realized was anxiety, but because I was a high performer in my mind, I didn’t connect that as an issue because I thought, well, anxious people aren’t functioning the same way in society, right?

Like they, they can’t do things or they don’t do things. It was such A naive way to really look at it, but I don’t think it was something that was really talked about a lot I don’t that much at all really in the 90s, right? And so like when I became You know as I came into my own as a woman and you know building a life of my own I didn’t I just felt like oh This is just a part of me that says i’m just i’m not as confident as other people And this just isn’t for me so I get to show up and pretend like i’m somebody else and say like You I’m going to keep trying to be like her.

And again, using the same muscles, the same habits of, okay, I can work hard. I can try to look like this. I can try to do it like this. I can try to be like this. And realizing again, with all of the stuff, like The reevaluation, the questioning, the coaching certifications, all that stuff really helped me to see that, wait a second, like it’s not the same muscle.

They’re different habits. I actually have to learn how to do something different, not more of the same, which is where we learn, right? Like that it’s not doing more. That’s going to solve it. and that double edged sword that also I can still be driven, right? I don’t have to then say, well, I guess I don’t get anything in life.

I’ll just settle for this small piece. that also didn’t feel right to me, and so my work is really around combining, like how do I get to be me, say I want all this stuff, it’s, it’s okay, and how do I get to do it in a way that feels good.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s so interesting to when you mentioned anxiety and high performers, like I too, like I knew I got worried. I knew I got anxious, but I didn’t realize how incredibly bad it was. And just sharing stories like this really helps people. Why my cue that I’m like, I think I need to get treatment for this is it was just a simple Instagram reel.

I was like following Jamila Jamil who was on The Good Place and she put her like backstage thing of she was on a talk show and she came around the wrong side of the couch on the talk show so she just crawled over the back of the couch and plopped down and she’s like and here’s what anti anxiety meds do and I’m like Yeah, like someone else is there.

She is very, very high achieving. And here she is just having the ability to be silly and funny in front of a really large audience of people. And that cued me into being like, Hey, like there is a different way to experience joy here. There is something That’s holding me back in particular.

And that’s when I got diagnosed and I scored like 19 on the anxiety scale. like you don’t even know how bad, you may be. And I see in your story too, you don’t even know how bad it is until you get evaluated and you got help for it. And now I look back at that person and I’m like, Oh, I wish like I would have gotten treated sooner for it. because there’s so much happiness that lies when you are able to conquer those things.

Nithya Karia: Yeah, and I mean for me, just like having that awareness right and starting to work in my own ways. Around it. I realized that it was all those things that actually blocked my happiness, right? The same things that I thought were driving me. It’s like using the same side of a hammer, right? Like I can’t take the nails out and put them in with the same side.

It’s just, it’s not an effective tool anymore. It doesn’t mean it’s doesn’t have a place in our tool belt. Right. But that we get to learn that there’s really like the yin and the yang, the, the opposite, however you want to say it, right? the masculine, the feminine, but there are. It’s again, a different muscle set, a different way, different habits that we practice that really allow ourselves to receive.

So that even as I’m giving, doing the work for my business or for my family, I’m also receiving in some way, shape or form from that work. And I’m valuing the idea that how I feel matters, like it really does. It’s not a selfish goal because anything that I interact with, my work.

People, it’s affected by my emotional state. And so learning to regulate that, is just this really powerful form of control and the thing that we always hand to someone else, right? Oh, my husband’s supposed to make me feel loved. My best friend is supposed to make me feel, like I have community and I’m wanted.

it’s such a heavy burden we place on each other to fill this big thing inside of us We never get to keep if we don’t offer it to ourselves first and then everybody else gets to add to that and it Just it changes the game without changing anything else literally, right? It starts here. And like I say like my life hasn’t changed. I have the same husband. I live in the same house We make more or less the same amount of money. I still have two kids and My life is completely different, the experience of it. And this is like the thing I get so excited about. It’s actually possible.

JoAnn Crohn: let’s get into like the nitty gritty now. what is one habit that you practice to actually receive that happiness instead of just giving?

Nithya Karia: I say the first place is always to just be asking yourself and check in, have a gauge, right? How am I feeling right now? Cause if I’m like about to say something or do something, but I check in first and I realized, Oh my gosh, I can feel my shoulders are really tense. I can feel, you know, whatever my head is hurting my stomach.

I’m feeling nervous. Whatever it is, it’s giving me a signal that I’m probably not in a good place to make that next best decision. And if I do that, right, if I just react, I inevitably tip off that cycle that we’re all so used to, right? Oh, now I feel bad about this. Oh, I should have done that.

Now, and it boils back down to this whole idea that this I am belief. Oh, I’m just someone who’s not patient. Oh, I’m not someone who’s a good mom. I’m not someone who can have a business you know, that’s big because I get overwhelmed. We, the thoughts that we have keep boiling down to our identity in the end.

And so if I keep my compass set, my North stars, really, I get to feel good because this is how I am productive and loving and patient and all of the things that I want to be, have the energy. Then I get to ask myself, how do I feel right now? Because it is the most important question because it changes how I’m showing up and the decisions I’m making.

JoAnn Crohn: That it’s such a good thing because I, so I haven’t been feeling well for the past few days and I told my husband, I’m like, is it okay if I just go down to rest? And he’s like, Yeah, it’s okay if you go down to rest and I’m like, but I feel like I should be exercising or something like I’ve, and I described it as I feel like I’m gaslighting myself that I actually am not sick, but I’m pretending that I’m sick.

And I should really muscle up and get through it. And I don’t think and Brie’s giving me a weird look, but I don’t think that my thought process is that uncommon for other, like maybe not being sick, but maybe it’s like, Staying in a situation with your kids where you feel like you’re going to blow up and you’re like gaslighting yourself that you’re not a patient person or you’re not like all of that. 

Brie Tucker: I was I No. My My I My My little huh? Was the whole like, making yourself think that. you’re sick, but you’re not. that was where I was like, wait, I’m not following. But Yeah. I’ve been in those places where your stomach is like Your stomach is like, this is just wrong. This is not where I’m supposed to be. 

JoAnn Crohn: Mm 

Nithya Karia: Yeah, and I love that you brought that up because I think this is so true, right? It seems like an emotional peak, right? We hit this top point that we’re like, I explode. I can’t take it I do the thing I say the thing or I don’t Do the thing or say the thing right and we beat ourselves up for what happens at that peak But what happens on the inside is actually it’s like you’re at a trough, right?

That’s a nadir That’s your absolute emotional low where you are so depleted that you couldn’t possibly And we can’t change those moments in those moments. We change them by what happens in between the moments. And this is why, asking ourselves, and also to your point, this is why I teach it as habits, because we have to stay flexible in our thinking.

Because, We’re human and what we need changes daily, hourly. So if I create such a rigid plan, I will always end up cutting myself down because at some point I’m not going to be able to necessarily hit that high bar that I’ve set. And if I’m not considering, wait a second, like you said, right? I just had family in town last weekend and I’m feeling a little depleted.

Like I didn’t get the alone time I needed. And now the house is a mess. And if I think I’m going to be able to perform at the same without. Taking into consideration, again, I’m not in the place where I am, where I wanted to be last week or, and I, checked all those boxes last week. I did it last week, so I should be able to do it this week.

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, yeah. I do that a lot. Yes.

Brie Tucker: Those shoulds. Those shoulds will 

JoAnn Crohn: Those shits get you. Nithya, I want to hear another habit you have for receiving happiness right after this break. So, Nithya, you gave us a really great habit to practice of checking in with yourself, seeing how we feel, to be able to receive this happiness instead of just give it as moms. What is another habit that we could put into practice?

Nithya Karia: Okay. My next favorite one, JoAnn, is practicing curiosity. Instead of looking at ourselves, at our life, our partner, wherever we are right now, instead of using judgment and like comparison, To really reflect with genuine curiosity and it’s really, you know, we’re human, we create meaning that’s what we do in our brains, but when we can try to just step back a second.

We regain a sense of control,the empowered feeling that we want to make those decisions. Because instead of being like, Oh my gosh, how could I have just done that? Or I can’t believe, you just said that to me, JoAnn. Instead, when I’m curious, I don’t take things so personally. And again, there’s nothing wrong with being a sensitive person and empath, all of the things I am a really sensitive person, but it doesn’t serve me when.

I, if my feelings are always hurt and I’m back in my own head and I have lost the ability to show up really effectively and right to be able to say, Oh, JoAnn might be having a bad day or wow, I know she had a big meeting come, this morning she’s probably stressed. Let me just rephrase this. Or I know she didn’t mean it that way or, and it’s not to make excuses for other people’s right misbehavior or things that it’s not accepting that it’s really keeping yourself in a state of control that says, yeah, I didn’t really care for that.

Or, okay, here’s what I really want. I need my kid to understand that this is where we are right now. This is what I need. And I realized that they’re having a really hard time right now and it’s not about me. Or gosh, this work project, it totally bombed or my computer didn’t, wasn’t up to date today.

And instead of being like, Oh God, how stupid I should have done this thing. I can be like, okay, hopefully we still have time to do this episode. now I know, right, to update my Riverside or update my Chrome and all that stuff. But really using curiosity, it just, it saves us so much energy and more likely to get the outcomes that we want. Whether it’s the way we see ourselves, the way we see someone else and what actually happens in the situation.

JoAnn Crohn: I, I love curiosity. Curiosity is my favorite parenting strategy ever, because when we literally lean into it, like in our balance program, actually we teach parents how to parent with curiosity and figuring out like what is behind their kids outbursts, what’s behind their big opinions. Why are the kids reacting this way?

Because when you have those conversations, there’s been so many times where Brie and I both have teenagers and teenagers aren’t nice. They’re Most of the time. Like, they’re not nice a lot. They’re learning. 

Brie Tucker: big opinions. They have big opinions, and my favorite way to describe them is they are preschoolers with better vocabulary. 

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. Well, 

Brie Tucker: The emotional shifts are, like, very similar to what we had then.

JoAnn Crohn: And they’re learning how to regulate and they’re learning how to state their opinions in a way that doesn’t completely emotionally demolish the other person. but when we pause in that moment, I mean just the other night my daughter got mad at me and I had to say okay, I’m just gonna, I’m just gonna shut my mouth.

I’m going to shut my mouth because I was going to say something and then finding out later that when we were both calm, she was just really stressed about getting a lab report done. And she was really stressed about her like chemistry class. And that’s why she was so snippy with me. It was nothing I did. It was nothing about how I raised her at all. And that curiosity helps so much.

Nithya Karia: Yeah. It really does. It just takes the edge off. And again, you know, with happiness, like I say, being an internal condition, it’s really just. So I’m going to share this story. I had a really rough day the other day and I took my pause by just telling my kids, I’m really frustrated. I think I need to step away so I don’t say something or do anything.

So I went upstairs, I actually took a shower and I got out of the shower and when I looked at the mirror, you know, it was all fogged up, but in the mirror, there was a message from my son and said, I love you. Um, that’s what he calls me, mom. And. I thought this is it, right? This is the condition. These things exist around us, but if we’re not in that state to create the condition to see it all around us, right? The foggy mirror, the love, the hugs, the love, the kind things, the gifts in our life, right? Really exercising gratefulness in this healthy way, not as a ceiling, but as like a place, a springboard, really something we’d get to grow from,this is why we get to do it. And this is why we need it because. Happiness isn’t. It’s everywhere and it’s in the life that we’ve created. It’s just, again, we have to put ourselves in the place to be able to see it.

JoAnn Crohn: Absolutely. I think 

Brie Tucker: That’s a mic drop.

JoAnn Crohn: a mic drop moment. Yeah, exactly. Brie and I were thinking the exact same thing. Yeah. Nithya, um, what, what’s coming up for you that you’re excited about?

Nithya Karia: I am, guys, I’m super excited about being able to, with my book coming out, really taking that and creating community through a group coaching program that I’m launching very soon. And I’m so excited because it’s more accessible, but also just for the biggest pieces, as you two definitely know, there’s just, there’s so much power in community and in finding each other and growing with each other, learning with each other and from each other.

And, it’s just a compounding learning effect because it meets so many of our needs, right? It’s the, I offer the strategy. The community is able to offer, support alongside me. And it’s just a feeling of not being alone because I think this is one thing like just as in the beginning, right?

Sharing our stories. There’s so much more commonality in the things we think we have to kind of, you know, those skeletons in our closet. It’s just, we all have them and they’re pretty much all the same skeletons, right? It’s just, it feels so big and scary to. admit it. It’s,feel so hard to change direction if you’ve been living your life this way, but none of it’s been a waste, right?

And this is the thing. It’s just, we get to transform it. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s really this idea of how do we, you know, you’re the solution. You’re not the problem. just creating a space and a community to get to walk women through this and to do it together.

JoAnn Crohn: You’re the solution, you’re not the problem. It has been so wonderful, Nithya. And, take note of the two habits that Nithya told you about. Check in with yourself. Get curious. And, Nithya, we’ll talk to you real soon.

Nithya Karia: Thank you guys so much for having me. 

JoAnn Crohn: How you feeling over there Brie? I noticed you were hunched over during the interview with your less than ideal recording situations.

Brie Tucker: It’s okay. Well, all right. Out of the options we have today, this is not the worst option. This is the best option, I think. So yeah, my back, the older I’m getting, the more I’m like, Oh my back. Oh my gosh. Everything just snap, crackle, pops all the time.

JoAnn Crohn: what’s that song? It’s my back, my da, da, do you know what I’m talking about?

Brie Tucker:  I don’t know.

JoAnn Crohn: I don’t know either.

Brie Tucker: Okay, but yeah, so like, so yeah, in order to make this work, I, the chair we have, and I’m like, seriously, if we, I should take a picture and we’ll share it on Instagram later, like how I had to have this set up so that I could record the episode. But, yeah, I’m leaning forward just so that I can be a little closer to my mic. Cause otherwise I’m like way back here and I sound pretty different, I think

JoAnn Crohn: Oh yeah, yep, there’s an echo. I hear

Brie Tucker: versus being up here.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, I wonder if everyone listening to this podcast, like Brie and I are very attuned to sounds in the podcast, but listening to the podcast, can you hear when we are echoing or when the sounds not as good quality? let me know on Instagram, go DM me at noguiltmom.com and let me know because sometimes

Brie Tucker: like five minutes and 25 seconds in.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, like sometimes I feel like it’s like we, we get very sensitive about it and it may not be something that everybody else notices, even though I will notice it in every single podcast, but that could be because I’m very sensitive about it.

Brie Tucker: Well, because it’s our work, it’s our work. And you already know that. Cause I complained to you every time I’m like, ah, that went down, you went out. I came in it just, and the funny thing is like, I do not know very much about sound editing, but I. I know enough to know that didn’t sound right. I know that much.

But you know what? we’re the solution. So, like, I, if there is one thing that I loved, like, well, I, now, I loved everything about Nithya. and for people that have been with No Guilt Mom, you know her because she was in our Mom Ignited Summit. She was in our most recent Happy Mom Summit. she’s fantastic.

But I, and I love her ability to, And I’m going to help you sort of shift that lens and see that happiness isn’t something external, that you can actually shift it and practice it every day. But my biggest mic drop and we said in the episode was the whole, you’re the solution. You’re not the problem.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah,

Brie Tucker: I think so often, right? With that mom guilt in us, we constantly think we’re the problem. Up, it’s me.

JoAnn Crohn: so that’s exactly what, I think, we were just having a conversation the other day where you’re like, I just don’t want you to think that it’s this, I want you to see, it’s that, and that, and that, like that, and that, when I was getting I wasn’t really down on myself, but I was like, I have control over the situation and it was a business situation, but that is exactly like how I see it.

I don’t see it as like a problem based thing. I see it as I’m the solution. To it, and so when she said that, I’m like, yes, that is what I’ve been trying to say all along. you’re not the problem. You’re the solution. And it’s a much easier way to take action from that.

Brie Tucker: so yeah, so I think that was just like, The solution, not the problem. The mom guilt, like we struggle with this every day and just keep reminding yourself of that. You are the solution. You are so not the problem.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s very true. Okay. Remember the best mom’s a happy mom. Take care of you. Talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.