How to Build Better Communication with Kids: A Simple 3-Step Strategy
Does it ever feel like your kids just don’t listen to you? You’re not alone! Communication struggles are one of the most common challenges parents face. But what if I told you there’s a way to move from constant conflict to genuinely connecting with your kids?
In this post, I’ll share a simple three-step strategy to transform how you communicate with your children. With this approach, you’ll go from feeling like you’re on opposing teams to working together toward the same goals.
Plus, I’ve included a free resource: a list of questions you can ask your kids to uncover what’s really going on. DM me on Instagram @noguiltmom to grab your freebie!
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Step 1: Think Like a Negotiator
Effective communication starts with preparation. Just like a skilled negotiator, you need to be in the right mindset before engaging with your kids.
This doesn’t mean focusing solely on self-care (we all know how limited time can be as moms!). Instead, it’s about practicing self-compassion. When you approach parenting with kindness toward yourself, you’re better equipped to handle tough moments. Start by acknowledging that parenting is challenging—and that’s okay.
If you’re feeling drained or overwhelmed, take a moment to reset. A calm mind helps you stay patient and responsive, which is key to building better communication.
Step 2: Ask Open-Ended Questions
Good negotiators don’t just talk—they listen. Communication with kids works the same way. Instead of telling your children what to do, ask open-ended questions to uncover their needs and motivations.
For example:
- “What made you feel upset about this situation?”
- “How do you think we can solve this together?”
- “What’s one thing that would make this easier for you?”
These types of questions encourage your kids to share their feelings and solutions, helping you work as a team. If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve created a free list of my go-to questions. DM me on Instagram @noguiltmom, and I’ll send it to you!
Step 3: Maintain Your Identity Outside of Parenting
Here’s a game-changer: You don’t have to center your entire life around your kids to be a great parent. In fact, having interests outside of parenting can make you a better communicator.
When you’re personally fulfilled, it’s easier to stay calm and patient during challenging moments. Whether it’s a hobby, a career, or simply taking time to read a book, prioritize activities that recharge you. Your kids benefit when you’re at your best!
Why This Approach Works
This strategy avoids common pitfalls like reward charts and rigid discipline methods, which often fail to address the root causes of communication breakdowns. By thinking of parenting as a negotiation, you can create win-win solutions that foster collaboration and respect.
Get Your Free List of Questions!
Ready to transform how you communicate with your kids? Start by using my list of must-ask questions to uncover their true needs and feelings. DM me on Instagram @noguiltmom, and I’ll send it to you right away!
For more parenting tips and strategies, check out these helpful posts on No Guilt Mom:
Building better communication with your kids doesn’t have to feel impossible. By following these three steps, you can create a stronger connection and find more joy in your parenting journey. Remember, the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of yourself—and watch how your relationship with your kids improves!
JoAnn Crohn
CEO/Founder at No Guilt Mom
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