Podcast Episode 347: Your Chic Wardrobe is Actually Hiding in Your Closet Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

So we are re-airing this episode with our friend Erica Cartledge. She is such a style, like I wanna say diva because it really is true. She has the best style. I first met her at mom 2.0 and she was wearing all pink, this amazing power suit. And I can’t get enough of her and her style tips.

I yeah, like you can see with Erica that she is so happy when she is expressing herself. Like her radiance and happy vibe, it just like, just, well, it radiates. I just said radiance, radiates. either way, I love being around Erica. Her energy is unforgettable. And this episode aired back in 2023 and people still ask for it all the time.

Yeah, and Erica is a speaker in our upcoming Happy Mom Summit too, so she has more style advice and know how to share with you. Go and get your free ticket at happymomsummit.com. And with that, we hope you enjoy this episode. Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I am your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined here by my co-host, Brie Tucker.

Hello, hello, for better. How are you? Yeah, 100 degrees outside and I am cold

Yes, that usually happens in Phoenix. People are like, how do you survive it? We’re like, well, we just don’t go outside. We have really good air conditioning.

Speaker 1 (01:23.54)

We live in our AC and you gotta make your house really cold in the morning because when it hits that over 110 in the afternoon, yeah, you gotta have it already have been cold to begin with. But it lets me wear my pretty yellow jacket.

You have a pretty jacket which ties perfectly into our guest today, Erica Cartledge, who is a professional stylist and image architect, CEO and founder of Your Chic Is Showing. She helps women cultivate their confidence using fashion and style. And we met Erica at the mom 2.0 conference. Like we meet so many guests on this podcast. We know you’re going to love her. She has so much insight into buying.

expensive pieces that are outside of the Walmart budget, which we dig into with Brie and just so much more. So we hope you enjoy our interview with Erica.

INTRO MUSIC

Erica, welcome to the podcast. We are so excited to have you on and talk all about style. And you are such a stylish person. We met you at mom 2.0 and I swear every day we were there, I wanted to be like, what is Erica wearing today? And you never disappointed. Never. thank you.

Thank much, I appreciate that and thank you so much for having me today.

the bold colors you pick, the bright pink suit. It’s just seeing you in that gave me such permission to really go into the bold colors back in my life because I feel like ever since I was a kid, I was the kid with the big geometric bedspread and just those bold shapes and the bright colors and the fluorescent shorts that probably I should not have worn.

Hey, everybody was wearing them in your defense. We were all doing it. I mean, have you seen the intro to In Living Color? I mean, that was my childhood.

That was my life, for sure.

Speaker 3 (03:51.982)

didn’t you dress as a kid?

So I was child of the 80s, so I lived in the leggings with the lace on the bottom, with a skirt on top, my t-shirt tied with the colorful little clips, four pairs of socks, big hair. I mean, I loved it. I loved prints and patterns and all of that. You know, I definitely was like team fluorescent, team loud, team bright. Yeah, that was all my jam, all of it.

Yeah, I was definitely Team Florescent right there with you. And then watching TV, was always like, it was six. I had so many blossom hats, so many blossom hats.

I was gonna say I love six and Clarissa on so it explains it all man man sigh

Hats though, like I just don’t look good in hats. I bought a hat for vacation recently, Joanna will remember this, and my hat like ran away from me before I even got on the trip. It disappeared. We legit are still trying to figure out what happened to that hat. just, hats are not my thing. I wish I looked cute in them, because they look so good on so many people.

Speaker 3 (04:56.686)

I have the same trouble with hats. They don’t fit my head. I have a crazily large head.

But you look good in a ball cap. I can’t even pull off a ball cap.

But those are adjustable. I’ll go into Target and like, really want a nice straw hat and I try to put it on my head. Nothing fits the head.

So my hack? Go shop the men’s department. Really? you so much of the same stuff. It comes in bigger sizes so the hats will fit you. And men’s is cheap.

Mmm, the pink tacks. It’s the pink tacks. Do you find that men’s stuff is a little better made than women’s is it like same kind of quality?

Speaker 2 (05:34.132)

No, I think it’s the same kind of quality, just it’s going to depend on the brain. mean, listen, you get what you pay for, for the most part. I love to women’s clothing, yeah, like button downs that I want to be oversized, hats, t-shirts that I maybe want to be fitted, but like a little looser. I always go to the men’s side.

Can I jump in on something that you just said? And I’m not sure if it’s going to resonate with anybody else, but you’re like, you get what you pay for. And I feel like I feel so, so it’s, it’s a twofold thing. It’s like a self fulfilling prophecy. I will buy cheap clothing. will go to Target, Walmart, Costco. I go to Goodwill. I’ll find whatever is cheap. And then I get mad when it doesn’t look good on me. And then I hear or I see people in really nice clothing that looks very good on them.

And I’m like, wow, where’d you get that? And it’ll be something that’s like outside of my, you know, Walmart budget. And then I’ll be like, well, I can’t spend that kind of money on me because everything looks bad. It is this self-fulfilling prophecy, right? Because you don’t think that you’re worth, that does anybody else ever have that guilt about spending, right? About spending the money on yourself.

personal or especially as a mom.

all depends how you were raised too, because I know when I was growing up, I was really intimidated by style. I thought it was something that I could never live up to and I could never achieve. And when I was shopping for say like seventh grade, we would go to Vanity Fair and Mervins. And when I requested things that were outside of those, I would get the answer, no, we don’t shop there. That’s where rich people shop. That’s not worth the money. It’s total ripoff.

Speaker 3 (07:09.352)

And you get that in your head that total ripoff, total ripoff, total ripoff. But coming up now, I have like some pieces. Not really good. Erica, you could probably give us some more info into this. When is it worthwhile to get the good stuff versus what stuff should you really save on? Yeah.

So well, first I want to say buying better pieces actually saves you money in the long run because you replace cheaper pieces faster. And so if you just make the investment, something that cheaply you might buy three times a year, like an old Navy t-shirt, you get a really great t-shirt, a really great, fantastic pair of jeans. It’ll last you years, right? But I think

What I always tell people, you invest in staples, right? Or you invest in something you’re gonna wear all the time. So I have a moto jacket. If you go on my Instagram, you’ll see me that moto jacket. I drape it in the summer. Worth the investment every time. Something that is a trend, that is a fad, like I know the flare jeans and the belt, that’s all starting to come back. I wouldn’t invest in that because in a year, it’s not gonna be the style. It’s not gonna be what people are wearing. And so I always encourage my clients.

invest in your staple pieces or those statement pieces that are like, love this. I can’t live without this. I’m going to wear it all the time. And then the things that are the fads, just let them go. It’s totally okay. It’s totally fine to get it at H or somewhere cheaper.

I think the problem that I run into is that I don’t know what is a fad and what’s here to stay. mean, obviously you can look back in history and be like, you’ve always seen this classic lines or the shirt forever and ever and ever. And that’s probably not going away anytime soon, but it’s this process of indecision. And it’s also this process of how do I really know what I’m going to like longterm? Do you ever run into that with your clients? Yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:06.4)

So absolutely. So one thing I always tell people is it is okay for your style to change. And I think sometimes we feel like, in three years I may decide my leather jacket is not my thing anymore. And that is okay because while it was my thing, I wore it and it got really, really, really good use and it was really, really, really loved. But in so many other areas of our lives, we allow ourselves to grow and to change and evolve. You get promotion, you get better jobs, you buy different houses, you do all this stuff.

And for some reason we don’t allow ourselves the space to grow and evolve and change in our style. So the first thing I would say is if you really, really love something and you’re like, I’ve got to have it. I can’t sleep without thinking about it. Get it and wear it. Cause you will wear it. You will use it, use it, use it. And then in three years, if you find your style changes, like even my style has evolved as I’ve gone from having an infant to now having a three-nager, you know, like so by-

Right, right like the teenagers. They are that vocabulary. I know you poor thing You’ve got both ends

And teenagers, I’m just like, can’t. Yeah, giving myself, you know, I want fashionable and I want stylish, but I’m much more drawn to streamlined. So I might wear a hot pink suit, but it’s not going to have a pattern shirt and all this stuff because I want the color to be the statement. don’t need everything else. And so allowing yourself to let that style evolve and change will totally change your perspective. And then there will be some things you’ll invest in.

It should happen forever and you might pass it down to your children because they decide they want them one day so…

Speaker 3 (10:41.666)

We’ll be right back after a quick break.

So how do you know if you’ve kind of gotten into a slump? Sometimes I’ll look in my closet, and because I went through like a couple of years ago where I got a whole bunch of stuff, and it was not a whole bunch, but to me like five pieces was a lot. And I look at it and I’m like, it doesn’t really wow me anymore, but I invested in it. It was more than my Walmart budget. And so how do you know that when you look at your closet that you’re in a slump and you’re like, okay, I need to do something different? Because we sit there as moms and we’re like, but I shouldn’t spend the time, energy and effort.

I should be doing this instead with my kids or my family or

Yeah, well, and we should also say that being in a style slump doesn’t actually equate with having to like get rid of your wardrobe and buy a whole new wardrobe, right? But a slump is, you if you’re looking at your closet and you’ve got a variety of things, but you kind of reach for the same five pieces or you style the same outfits the same way, those are a couple of telltale signs that you’re in a slump. Or if your clothes are like really, really, really ill fitting, not because you bought them and they didn’t fit great, but because they’re stretched out.

They’re faded, they’re like falling apart. But I see what we’re inclined to do is we’re like, I’m in a slump. I’m going to get rid of everything. I need to buy new stuff and start over. And what I would actually challenge you to do is get more purposeful and intentional about using what’s in your closet. So I do a thing called a style shift challenge. And part of the challenge is forcing people to use what’s in their closet. So you pull three pieces you love and then you build around those three pieces. So you might take your favorite shirt.

Speaker 2 (12:16.398)

doom with a skirt and a blazer one day, but then the next day I say, okay, now take that same shirt and style it another way. And then the next day, take that same thing and style it another way. And what it starts to force you to do is use the other clothes in your closet. Then you’ll really get a clearer picture of, okay, what are the things I actually don’t like? And what are the things I’m just overlooking because it’s easy to pull the same thing every day. That’s it.

like that and I’m already thinking about my daughter who’s 14 right now and how she’ll come to me and she’ll be like mom I have nothing to wear I have nothing to wear

my god! Nothing to wear, nothing to eat.

Right, to eat, nothing to eat either. And like even right now she’s asking me, she’s like, mom, I need a second swimsuit. No one else just has one swimsuit. I’m wearing the same swimsuit to every party. How do we encourage kids to do the same thing of using what’s in your closet and finding it and making those out?

Yeah, I think you do it the same way you do as an adult. And here’s what I always tell people. So a lot of times when we’re getting dressed while putting together outfits, it’s a pressure situation. I gotta go somewhere. I gotta go do this thing. So you and your daughter, I’m going to the pool party and everybody’s gonna be there, right? If you play dress up in your closet in a low pressure situation,

Speaker 2 (13:32.834)

then you can start to put together the combinations in the outfit without being like, I’m really stupid, I can’t go somewhere, right? Because the only person that’s gonna know if you look crazy or not is you and the mute, right? And so suddenly you’re playing dress up, you’re tapping back into when we were little and letting our imaginations run wild, but it’s in a very low stakes, low pressure environment. So I would even, you know, with your daughter make a game and say, okay, can you pick three things out of your closet?

Let’s build some outfits. Okay, take the same three things. I want you to build something new and do it that way so that it helps her get out of her rut and what she thinks she needs to be wearing. Let’s start thinking creatively about, and you can even bring snacks and have music and do all thing if you want to just make it fun and kind of like a game because a lot of this issue with fashion is we’ve taken the fun out of it.

It’s all about keeping up with others now.

It’s about keeping up with others. It’s about dressing the way you feel like you’re supposed to dress and not necessarily what feels true and authentic to you. And there’s a part of fashion and style that should tap into that same creativity and enjoyment we had as children.

Where are those geometric shapes, Joanne?

Speaker 3 (14:46.348)

I need, I want those geometric shapes back and I feel like I try it. Like I go for a lot of stripes and a lot of like bold colors.

really good in those bold patterns. don’t, I don’t feel and that’s like an earthing too that would be like my next question is I know I like bold colors. We have figured that out about me. I like bold colors, but I feel like it took me a while to get there because I had no idea what my style was. My style was practicality. It was because especially in my field, I worked with small children. So it was constantly like things that could get ruined. I couldn’t wear anything nice to work because I would get paint on me or whatever.

That’s a big statement though, think a lot of moms would say my style is practicality. Like it’s not fun.

You don’t get passionate about it. Yeah, you just you’re you’re dressing for function not for passion And then that’s where that whole spiral starts of like my style sucks. I have no style blah blah blah, you know

Yeah, so absolutely. I think a couple things when you are mixing in that it’s gotta be functional, it’s gotta make sense, which is a huge part of my process when I work with people. But it’s to think about where is something that can spark a little joy or give you a little energy. So you’re working with littles. Maybe it’s like really cool sneakers becomes your thing. would be fun. Right? So, okay, yeah, you gotta be in change, you gotta be in a tank top, gotta be in stuff that you can get the washable paint out.

Speaker 2 (16:09.72)

But if you like bold colors, there’s so many cool sneakers or just cool shoes in general. You both have bold lipsticks on. So is there a way to do that? Is it something fun, like cool on your nails or cool piece of jewelry or fun watch bands? I think we limit ourselves and say, if I’m not in this fabulous outfit, then I don’t look I started more conversations with pair of sneakers, they’re Nike sneakers and they just have flowers. And I started more conversations with a pair of Nike sneakers.

with flowers on them that I can’t even tell you about. I get asked about my fingernails all the time. And they’re fun and they’re press-ons, right? They’re not even the 80s, maybe, right? Stop and talk to me and ask me about that. Then, you know, even wearing the pink suit and things like that. And so I think sometimes we put the limit on ourselves and what that might look like. Also, you are not working with those little 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And at times we reserve great outfits or cool outfits for

I have to be going somewhere. have to be doing something.

think we need that permission, right? I think as moms, we need someone to tell us it’s okay to do that.

And you mentioned something else. Fashion can be a really great connector with people. When you wear something fun, you get people approaching you and say, my gosh, where’d you get that? I love your sneakers.

Speaker 1 (17:25.334)

Even if it’s the red lipstick. Where’d you get the red lipstick, Joyon?

And people connect with that. It’s actually, I use it to start conversations at conferences with people I don’t know. I’m always like, man, that’s a great sparkly tank with, I’m Joanne. Hi. Right. And it’s, works like that. So I think that my, my views of fashion have totally changed over the years from being totally intimidated by it to actually using it as a way both to express yourself, but also to have fun and connect with.

others and to bring that fun back because as moms we really lose our sense of fun when we’re taking care of our kids and we’re trying to make sure everybody else is doing well and not us and that’s really really hard and it’s sad what do you think about it too?

I know, like when’s the last time you got really excited about something that you were gonna wear? I kind of think back to like when I was in high school or middle school or even elementary school, I’d get really excited about those. Because my parents were also very frugal, right? So we would go to, I don’t know if they had this anywhere else, I grew up in Kansas City, there was a place called the Jones Store, and we had midnight madness sale. Literally, the store at the mall would open at midnight and you would go shopping. And it was insane.

And I got two outfits. Every time they had two midnight madness sales a year, my mom would, for each of us, we’d try two outfits. We had like stay up late. She’d be like giving us caffeine. Go shopping. But I would love those outfits. Oh, elementary school. Like I remember doing this in third grade, but that was the, okay. I was also the youngest of three. So there were days where I was wearing my sister’s crushed velvet top from 1975 and I was born in 79. So let’s just start there.

Speaker 3 (18:58.508)

old were you?

Speaker 3 (19:13.614)

rock that crush velvet. Right?

But when I got to wear the Nihaat Niamh outfit with the unicorn or the geometric patterns, I was so excited about it. I just remember being really excited about pieces. And it’s hard to find that excitement as a mom with our piece. I think it kind of is. I know you don’t know where to start.

It’s really interesting though because I think your kids can be the gateway to finding that excitement in fashion again. My daughter is very into shopping and clothes and so we’ll go shopping and she’ll be like, mom, let’s go into Lululemon. And immediately my brain is like, Lululemon, are you kidding me? That is a ripoff. Those leggings are so overpriced. And then we’ll go in and for instance, last September, she’s like, my gosh, this sweatshirt is awesome. I’m going to try on the sweatshirt. And I’m like, well, I’m here.

I’m gonna try on this sweatshirt too. It was like $170 sweatshirt. I put it on. It is the best sweatshirt ever. I put on this sweatshirt for $170. I wear that thing all time. You probably see me in it, Bri, the gray hoodie. Because it’s so comfy. It looks good. It’s cropped. It’s a scuba.

I’m always here and it’s so great

Speaker 2 (20:26.446)

material is,

But I’m allowing my daughter to influence me a little bit when it comes to clothes and letting that excitement kind of rub off on me. The same thing I had, but I don’t let myself do because I think it’s wrong or I think it’s

Yeah, but we should explore why do moms think it’s wrong, right? Where’s this guilt around if I’m not providing for my kids or doing for my kids or sacrificing for my kids? And here’s the rub is when you do that, you teach your children, son, daughter, non-minor, whatever, you are teaching your children either that’s how you’re supposed to be or that’s how my partner is supposed to be, right? So the other thing that I think we don’t get intentional enough about

is what am I actually teaching my children about caring for yourself versus always sacrificing yourself for other people? What am I teaching them about how to treat whoever they choose to be with, what the roles are, what the expectations are? And so I think a lot of times it actually helps my children to see that and to see that, yes, what you’re doing is important, but I’m taking.

these 20 minutes to put something together to feel really good when I walk out the door. And also, by the way, what a gift for your children to see you walk out of the door confidently and being authentic to yourself and showing up as the true real person that you are. And I think when you flip it and think about it that way, suddenly it doesn’t feel vapid and it doesn’t feel frivolous. Suddenly there are all of these life lessons that you can teach a very captive audience from a very early age about how to treat themselves.

Speaker 2 (22:08.94)

and how to love themselves and then how to teach other people how to treat.

That’s the mic drop moment right there, Erica. We’ll be right back after a quick break. That’s the mic drop moment right there, Erica. It’s totally, it’s very true. And style and fashion is definitely a way to do that. What do you have coming up that you’re really excited about?

So I am super excited. I launched in the last month a group style coaching community. And so one of the things that I believe, you were talking about earlier, fashion seems intimidating. It seems like it’s all at first level. I believe elevated style should be accessible to anyone, anywhere. And so what I have done is created a group program that gives you access to me as your personal stylist.

private community where you can connect with other people. You get weekly emails that give you outfit ideas. So you’re really like, I don’t know what to wear, you just be like, okay, I’m pulling out this email and I’m wearing this, right? So you get outfit ideas, get staff formations, you get style tips. We do live monthly calls where you can literally ask me anything. So we talk fashion, we talk style, we talk business owner, anything. Nothing is off limits. Parenthood always comes up, right? But the coolest thing about this program,

is it is $25 a month, which is insane. If anyone goes to visit my website, there’s not a thing that you can get for 25.

Speaker 1 (23:36.142)

I spend $25 a week on coffee.

Yeah, I’m just kidding. I know Star Wars for a week and you can get all this instead. Probably not even a week, like three days,

Speaker 2 (23:50.03)

Bailey, you can have But I just, truly believe that being confident in your style, having a style that’s authentic to you, being able to show up powerfully, that is not reserved for the rich and famous, right? That should be accessible to everybody. And it’s really, really important that I’m able to do that. So I’m so excited. We’ve got a really fun, great community. We just helped someone get dressed for a wedding. So she posted the outfit and we’re like, do these shoes, do these earrings. People go shopping. that’s what I see. They go shopping.

I need

ghost in the group and they’re like, what do you all think of these pants? And they’ll put a pawl in it. Like, it’s just so much fun to be with this group and we’re in the middle of a no buy challenge. So we’re taking the month to be intentional and to not buy clothes and to really intentionally use what’s in our closet, think about it in a new way, and then create a wish list so that when we do go shopping next month, it’ll do with a purpose. So that’s been really, really fun to just.

Seeing all the cool things people are like, I need this. I thought I needed this. And then I found four of them in my closet. So it’s awesome. It’s a great community.

That is an awesome thing to go through. How great would it be to know that you don’t even have to go shopping? You just you have it all there. You just have to reorganize it a little bit.

Speaker 2 (25:01.784)

Yup, you just put on, yup. You don’t wear what you can’t see, so I always tell people try to get everything where you can see.

was awesome. Well, Erica, it’s been a joy talking with you. Thank you for all of your wisdom and style advice, and I will talk to you soon.

Awesome, thank you!

So I did a personal image consulting session with Erica before we interviewed and I just, love her because she makes it so accessible. She makes you think that you could be stylish too. And I know I say that I’m like, I can’t be stylish though. can’t.

But you’re right though, because I feel like as we become moms, especially based upon what you do outside of your motherhood role. I talk a little bit in the episode about how I worked in early childhood. I always had to try to figure out to wear things that were okay to get ruined, right? Which meant I probably wasn’t wearing stuff that I really overly enjoyed. And then after a while, you just get so used to it. I worked for a hospital for a little while, so I had a uniform I had to wear.

Speaker 1 (26:04.588)

If you’re working up a size uniform or a very strict dress code, you just sort of get lost and you’re like, style isn’t something for me. That’s for people that have a life that I doth not have. Right?

Guess the point where you think it’s frivolous. That is a word that went through my head a lot. Frivolous. Rip off. I can’t believe all these negative connotations I’ve had about style.

part of it though is about what we saw growing up. So a part of it’s like what you were taught growing up, what you experienced, right? It’s, yes, frivolous because it just feels like spending money on clothes is frivolous.

But it’s that negative self-talk. I mean, it really affects everything you do and your actions. We talk about this a lot in Balance VIP, where we look at those voices that are saying things to us and our members write in their journals each day, like, what does my mind need to hear?

And when you have going through your head, style is frivolous, style is a ripoff, and then you go to these events and you’re like, I just feel like I don’t fit in, everyone is so well dressed, they have so much more confidence than I do. Those two relate to each other.

Speaker 1 (27:15.182)

You’re like, there’s so much more put together than me and it’s not necessarily that but you have to like you just said you have to give yourself permission to Move forward you are worth it

Your thoughts influence your actions. So I would say anybody listening right now, and if you don’t feel put together or if you feel like you aren’t allowed to do this style, really look to see what are you telling yourself? Are you telling yourself stuff like I tell myself about style that’s holding you back and influencing how you spend your time or what you spend your budget on? And how can you change that? So like for me, for instance, I think I’m going to invest in a beautiful piece

that I love and I’m gonna wear for years. I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna invest in this piece and I will treat it with the same respect that I treat my scuba jacket from Lululemon. It’s amazing. I will still say how amazing this jacket is even though it’s like athleisure, sweatshirt material, it’s still wonderful but I do want something that will elevate me more in a professional setting.

Yeah, because I can’t wear my blue lemon jacket at a conference or if I’m ever going to be regarded as serious.

You well, okay, so you can but it just depends on a like you just said the messages you’re telling yourself and what you feel and if it doesn’t feel right Then that’s all you need for the reasoning. That’s all you need. It doesn’t feel right. So that that’s not my thing

Speaker 3 (28:41.016)

What do you mean it doesn’t feel right? Doesn’t feel right like what?

Like you’re saying, you don’t feel like that’s a piece that you could wear at a conference. You don’t feel like that gives you the confidence or feeling professional in that. So that’s not what, so it doesn’t feel right and that’s all you need. There’s no other explanation needed for that. So.

I shouldn’t like base what I wear on what other people are wearing, but rather what feels right.

Right. I guess I would say that for sure. But you did a session with Erica and I mean for people that are as excited as we are after talking to Erica, we have got her link in the show notes. You could check her out. Her group session sounds amazing. You got to do a private session with her. I haven’t done that yet.

It was fun. It was fun. She, she gave me more permission to go after those bold colors, which I love me some bold colors.

Speaker 2 (29:28.062)

Love

They can be scary.

I love it. I love standing out like that with my bold color choices. It’s fun. Well, remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you and we’ll talk to you later.

Thanks for stopping by.