Podcast Episode 362: Trust Your Mom Sense: How to Silence Fear and Parent with Confidence Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (00:01.11)

I knew that I wanted to get into this space and I thought instead of just focusing on the commiserating and complaining, because I heard a lot of that, I thought I’m going to make the show a little more newsy and I have three pillars to be illuminating, inclusive, and inspiring

JoAnn Crohn (0:18.120)

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host JoAnn Crohn joined with the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker (0:23.700)

Hello hello, how are you?

JoAnn Crohn (0:26.120)

Brie, like we are coming off of some hard stuff for, well, both of us, we’re coming off of vacations, but we’re also coming off of an injury for you. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (0:34.200)

Interesting couple of weeks. Yeah. Yeah, and I have to say I was in the ER just like 36 hours ago It’s been interesting

JoAnn Crohn (00:43.523)

Yeah.

It’s been an interesting time. Yeah, and like what I was talking to you yesterday, painkillers are trouble.

Brie Tucker (0:52.900)

Yeah, I’m like, I’m okay. So for people in podcast land, first of all, let me back this up. We had our big annual happy mom summit. And then you were on vacation, and then I overlapped with your vacation some Tuesdays. So like, we hadn’t really been around and like done any work together for about two weeks, right? So yesterday was supposed to be our first day back. I

Like I said, had been in the ER most of Sunday and you knew that so we were talking and everything and I’m trying to convey a thought to her. And I could just tell by her. I’m like, I’m not making any sense. Am I? She’s like, pain meds. God. I’ve never had muscle relaxers or morphine, but let me tell you guys it is interesting.

JoAnn Crohn (01:40.888)

To give the gentle segue into this episode, even though you didn’t make any sense, we are going to be talking about mom sense. Yes. And it does make sense. Yes. Yes. Our guest is Kanika Chadd-Gupta and she’s a seasoned television journalist, formerly with CNN International, podcaster and mother of three, including twins who aims to give credit where it’s often overlooked.

Brie Tucker (1:46.500)

That does make sense.

JoAnn Crohn (02:02.882)

the lasting impact of living your purpose and modeling that for the next generation, which we here at No Get Mom are all about. She hosts the popular podcast that’s Total Mom Sense, where she interviews public figures on their life lessons, parenting journey and legacy. Guests include Chelsea Clinton, Kelly Rowland and America Ferrera.

Her show has been ranked number one on good pods in the parenting vertical. Kanika has been recognized by no women and JP Morgan chase as 100 women to know in America and has been featured in Forbes and on NBC, ABC, Fox, CBS and cheddar. You can learn more about her on her website and follow her on Instagram. We’re going to put those show links for you down there in the show notes. And let’s get on with the show.

JoAnn Crohn (02:49.464)

You want mom life to be easier. That’s our goal too. Our mission is to raise more self-sufficient and independent kids and we’re going to have fun doing it. We’re going to help you delegate and step back. Each episode, we’ll tackle strategies for positive discipline, making our kids more responsible and making our lives better in the process. Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast.

JoAnn Crohn (03:21.56)

Kanika, it is so fantastic to have you here on the show after like getting to see you in person running into you with in New York through our friend Tara Clark, like welcome to the no goat mom podcast.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (03:35.200) 

Thank you so much for having me, JoAnn and Brie. This is going to be so much fun. It’s a joy.

JoAnn Crohn (03:41.700)

I have really been following you and your career because you’re in Mainstay at the Mom 2.0 conference, which we’ve been going to for years. And I am just so fascinated with the work you’ve done and everything that you have achieved. But I want to take it back just to your beginnings because you were born in Bombay and then you immigrated over to America at the age of two.

Do you have any memories during that time? Even though you were two, I imagine that was a pretty big life event. It may have ingrained something in there.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (04:14.200)

Yes, I love that you did your research and you know this already. Yes, I have a photographic memory, so it’s kind of amazing. Maybe two is a little too far back, but if I want to go back to like when I was like six, I could just recreate the time place, like what everyone was wearing. It’s really amazing. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (04:39.146)

There was a book series I read like that. was called K.M. Jansen, the book series with the detective with a photographic memory. So that’s always what I think of. But it’s for kids.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (04:47.500)

have to check that out. It’s a superpower of sorts. When I was two, there were stories, you my, my mom, my aunt, and my nanny, my grandma and my dad, we all lived together in a flat or an apartment in Bombay in the city. And they said that I was super talkative. I spoke like five languages, which is really amazing. But it was

English, Hindi, Punjabi, Gujarati and Marathi, which are all different dialects in India, in addition to English. And I knew like who to talk to, which language. Yeah. And then I, my neighbors, they were like an elderly couple. So I would straight up run to their house, sit at their dining table and have them feed me mangoes.

I would just have like mango juice and pulp all over my face. So that’s my earliest memory living in India. And another one is when my aunt, was a flight attendant for, oh my gosh, like almost 40 years. She started when she was 19 and retired when she had to. And when we immigrated, she was on the flight. And that was another thing. I called her Neelam Massey. So Neelam was her name.

Pasi means aunt in Hindi. And so as I was on the plane, I pointed to her and I was like, Neela Pasi, Neela Pasi. And then I was about to sit in my seat. So that’s another memory. So she helped me cross the waters and I grew up in the States. But yeah, some really fun memories.

JoAnn Crohn (06:34.528)

That sounds amazing. And the fact that you were speaking that many languages at such a young age, did that continue for you being able to pick up languages and use them?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (06:42.900)

Yes. You know, I wish I was multilingual now. I’m not, would say, definitely fluent in Hindi and Punjabi and I can read the script and write it conversant in French. And that’s that. Yeah. I think it’s interesting how when you teach kids at a young age, they’re sponges and the more that they’re exposed to different cultures and languages, it’s a skill that they have a knack for at that age for a reason.

It’s harder for us as it gets to pick it up.

Brie Tucker (7:18.000)

I always found it fascinating that the research has shown that if a child is introduced to and able to hear a language under the age of two, they can pick up all the fine sounds of that language. But if they’re not, if they’re not introduced to it until after two, they will be really good at it, but they’ll never be fully bilingual, have the sounds that a native speaker can have. The brain is just, whoa.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (07:47.47)

Yeah, yeah, that’s so interesting.

JoAnn Crohn (07:50.000)

Yeah. So you went to school for international relations and then you got into journalism and you interned at NBC. at NBC, you then said on a whim, you moved back to India. Like, I’m curious, like, what is the whim? How do you just like, what opportunity did you have that led to that move?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (08:11.350)

I love it. Okay. So I was at NBC in Miami, WTVJ channel six, and it was just such a great run. was part of the consumer investigative unit. So we were doing mortgage fraud cases and you know, all sorts of fun stuff, even murder cases. Like I was kind of thrown out there and covering everything out on the field with my reporter who I shadowed, Willard Shepherd. And so Willard became one of my first mentors and

You know, when I was looking for my first job right out of my grad program, I had an opportunity at like the NBC affiliate in El Paso, Texas. And I was talking about it and I said, you know, I can’t see myself leaving and living there. I don’t know a soul out there. And am I going to have to just do this small market thing and work my way up? Cause I also was a little older. I was like 20.

three and I feel like that’s like you know-

JoAnn Crohn (09:14.606)

I’m like out of college, like being the broadcast journalism. Yeah, I know what you mean. Even though it’s only two years, you’re like, I’m behind.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (09:20.550)

Yeah, exactly. I’m a dinosaur.

Brie Tucker (09:20.570)

Yeah, you might need to explain that back to me because I’m still like that’s a baby!

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (09:27.550)

That’s still, know, I know. Somehow it’s those who knew to intern at the radio stations and the O &Os in their hometowns when they were in college. Like they just got, you know, to the bigger market sooner and we’re at that ripe age. So yeah, I was like, I just, don’t want to have to like slog for another five years and then make it to like graduate to a bigger market like New York or something closer.

I had a friend that was in India and she was a producer and she said, by the way, there are so many networks that are coming up here that are just a burgeoning market for media. There’s BBC, CNN, and there’s Times Now, it’s owned by Reuters. And so I recommend you come out here and try your hand at it. Now that you have this degree, you have like kick ass, like resume reel, see what’s going to happen.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (10:25.126)

And so I was just on my game and gave myself one month because I used to vacation to India every summer anyways, growing up to visit my aunt, the one who flew me, and then my grandmother. And so it didn’t feel like a foreign place to me at all. And I thought, okay, this is my little graduation gift to myself, to spend time with family and friends in India, but also on job hunting. I interviewed with CNN and after a few rounds, got the job.

And I actually, yeah, I started as a producer and it’s not what I wanted. I wanted to be in front of the camera. wanted, you know, the anchor position. But I think that, you know, especially those who are entering the workforce, young people need to know that you gotta pay your dues. And I was like, I will take it. I will take whatever they give me. And I spoke to the entertainment head, his name is Rajiv Masand. And I said, I always kind of envisioned that I would be a

respondent or an anchor and I just really want to be in front of camera, is there anything that I can do in addition to my role as producing this show?” And he said, yeah, if you want to go out on the field, if you have anyone you want to interview, I fully support it. Just make sure you’re on your shift. And so my shift started at two and it ended at 10 PM. And I was like, okay, so if I want to do interviews, then I have from like seven, eight AM.

to one to go out on the field and shoot. And then I worked my actual shift and I did that every day. So was kind of double shifting. But I loved it because I was accumulating another robust set of stories that they played out on the news wheel. And then just by like miraculously, the anchor who anchored the show that I produced, it was called E! Tonight, she decided to quit. And it was about

six months in and they were like, okay, so this new position has opened up and you know, it’s up for grabs. Correspondence, whoever. Yeah, exactly. It was like, okay, so we had to audition for it. And then, you know, my boss and a whole like, you know, slew of judges had to like go through these audition tapes and they chose me. And I was so happy about that because I earned it. But also I was a producer on the show.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (12:53.174)

And I think that was another linchpin. They were like, she knows exactly what’s going on in the rundown because she wrote that. I know what’s going to go at the top, like how to do the segues, everything. And then even the camera operators were like, we love working with her because she would do everything in one take. Cause I also knew that it’s like the producers and the editor in the control room, like they hate sifting through minutes and minutes of an anchor intro. Cause

the person just kept messing up. It’s like, just know what you’re gonna say. And of course, we’re human, it’s fine. But I would make it as seamless for them that it’s like, shit, she did this in one take or two takes. And like, we’re like actually ahead of time. And all of that came together. And then I became me.

JoAnn Crohn (13:42.200)

And how old were you when you got your own show?

 Kanika Chadd-Gupta (13:42.200)

That was, I guess, 24?

JoAnn Crohn (13:48.600)

So there you go, 23 ahead, like behind everyone, and 24 you have your own show. Obviously the right move.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (13:55.874)

And so the reason why we chose India also, Willard told me this, was like, it’s just go for the global market because you’ll get there faster. And if you are back to the, you know, being bilingual or, you know, your ability to like immerse yourself in other cultures, he said, go for where it’s trending. And if in India, media and broadcast news is trending up, go there.

So that was the other reason why I did it. was like, okay, so I’m not going to go the traditional route.

JoAnn Crohn (13:48.600)

That is sound advice. Well, we are going to time jump a little bit, Kanika, because you had this successful career, you had your own show. And then I want to hear when kids started to come into the picture. And we’re going to do that right after this.

So, Kanika, being super successful at your career from a pretty young age, I mean, I think it’s fair to say, like having your own show at 24 definitely qualifies you as super successful in your career.

Brie Tucker (14:54.370)

As someone who has no broadcasting experience, I would say that’s a yeah.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (14:58.978)

Yeah. Thank you.

JoAnn Crohn (13:48.600)

How did that transition go from having your own show? And I know some things happened in between, but then when kids started to come into the picture for you, like how did that affect how you pursued your career and how you dealt with things also at home?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (15:20.000)

Yes. Okay. So I am very much quick when you’re off kind of person. And I call it quitting because it’s not quitting, it’s pivoting. 

Brie Tucker (15:30.250)

Okay, pivot, pivot.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (15:34.100)

Yes. Because we’re not like trying to fail at things here, but you have to iterate. So I knew early on when I was a young girl that I wanted two things. I wanted to be a television maker because I saw that in Connie Chung and Oprah and I was like, I want to do that.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (15:49.834)

And then the second thing was to be a mom. And there are times where that’s not mutually exclusive. And breastfeeding is not conducive to breaking roots. yes.

Brie Tucker (16:07.700)

Nothing. Wait, wait, wait. Nothing can break right now. We’ve got a feeding in five minutes. So News World is going to just pop. That’s not an option.

JoAnn Crohn (16:16.700)

Yeah.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (16:18.350)

Yeah, exactly. I know, right? So I planned ahead. And when I married my husband, Sunil, and we were family planning, it was even a little bit before that. And we were family planning for four years. We enjoyed our time, traveled, I think it was that time they said, I’m just going to leave the TV world. I’m ready to just plant my roots and have kids. And I know that I personally didn’t want to have to juggle like both.

Yeah. And so I started a digital marketing firm and I used all my skills in editorial and communication and like interviewing TV production and parlayed it into the digital space. And I helped clients do that with their online footprint. And that gave me autonomy. It’s like, this is great. I get to make my own schedule and decide when I’m capped, how many clients I have in my portfolio and when I’m not.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (17:15.758)

And then after I had the three kids, like even that was a journey. So I had an ectopic pregnancy at first, and that really threw us for a loop. I was just like totally heartbroken. I had a friend of mine, Jupe, Shukra, who’s an OB, she helped diagnose it. So I really advocated for myself in the healthcare system. like, I need an ultrasound and if I’m having an ectopic, let’s deal with this.

So after I recovered from that, a year later, I got the news that I was having fits. And it just felt like the best rainbow baby story or baby’s story because it’s what I always wanted. I really believe in manifestation. So I have a vision board and at the time it had like a little parents magazine cut out of a pink baby booty and a blue baby booty right in the middle. It was like, okay, want this family to happen.

And lo and behold, I gave birth to a baby girl that is boy.

Brie Tucker (18:18.800)

Oh my God.

JoAnn Crohn (18:19.700)

That’s amazing.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (18:21.014)

Yeah, so just manifest it. It works.

JoAnn Crohn (18:25.050)

The manifestation piece of it is really interesting to me, just to take a little sidebar, is all the stuff that you’ve done so far in your career and in your life. Have you had a vision board? Have you manifested that stuff? And have you seen a direct correlation to what you put on that vision board to what happens?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (18:48.350)

Absolutely. In many, ways, I have to keep refreshing the vision board because things actualize and I’m on.

JoAnn Crohn (18:56.600)

I need to try this, Kanika. need to try this.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (18:59.000)

You have to do it. Yes. We’ll work on this together. It’s so, so fun. You have to like literally dig up magazines, but then there’s also like vision boarding, you know, websites that’ll help you. And you could just, if there’s something that you’re looking for, if you want the next Netflix show, you know, print out the logo of Netflix and slap it on your poster board, whatever it is that you want to see come to life.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (19:27.822)

Even this home, we just moved at the end of last year. And so there’s a little story there too, but my kids and I have three, we had them in a special school and they loved the school and it was almost an hour away from where we live. I would spend at least 90 minutes going and coming with you.

JoAnn Crohn (19:53.614)

I feel that pain, yes.

Brie Tucker (19:55.500)

I think everybody just like I did. Did you hear that? It was a groan from every mom in the world.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (20:04.400)

Thank you. know it sounds like that. I walked to school uphill both ways. But it was hard. It was really hard. That is a burden. Yes. Yes. And it was because we knew that, okay, eventually we’re going to move to a town near the school, you know, but it’s going to take time to find the house first. Like, I found an agent and then I found the builders that we liked and all this stuff. And there was this one

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (20:32.526)

home that he showed us that the builder, it was already spoken for. They like, this house is sold, but you can see it to see the builders work. And I was like, done. Okay. I loved it. I was like, this is my dream home. I can’t believe I’m walking these halls. I want, I want this house, but it’s already spoken for, so I can’t have it. But I took a picture of it and I put it on the vision board. And now two years later, my house looks exactly like it.

Obviously very, very different on the inside. I’m not like copycatting exactly what I saw, but the exteriors, we designed it. And my older son Krish pointed that out. When we moved in here, we like got the keys, moved in and he said, mama, it’s just like the house on the vision.

JoAnn Crohn (21:20.850)

Oh he realized that. That is awesome. So I’m seeing the pattern that you know clearly what you want, Kanaka, and then you visualize it, putting it on a vision board and make it happen. Did anything like that happen when you started your current podcast? That’s total mom sense. Yeah. How did that go?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (21:44.750)

Absolutely. So yeah, I think it’s important to have something subliminal and visual that you see because that’s just putting it out there in the universe. And you’re like, okay, it’s something that I am noticing throughout my day. And then you actually have to put it in the work. There is nothing around that. don’t just sit back and put your feet up. Like then you’re like, okay, we’re all in and I bet it’s like.

Brie Tucker (22:07.300)

You can’t just look at the picture and be like, work that!

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (22:10.57)

Yes, exactly. There’s some fairy dust make it happen. I did the same with the podcast I started listening to mom brain in those early days when I was nursing my twins and I just I had earbuds in my ears all the time or there was cleaning pump parts or had them on my boot and I loved my brain was like this is such a fun show with Daphne Oz and Hilaria Baldwin and I thought I want to get into this space because

It’s very much long format interviewing and broadcast, but it’s a little lower of a lift because you don’t need to do it in the newsroom. And it’s more of an audio experience. Like this is awesome. And I also feel like because I used to cover entertainment and lifestyle stories, like in this phase of my life, when I had three kids in 18 months, like it was like my one and a half year olds and newborn. All I cared about was like the parenting stuff.

You know, I would talk to older moms, those who were 10, 15 years out, what’s around the bend, tell me everything, you know? And so, and then also like empathize with those who had kids my, my kids age. So I was really in the thick of it and thought I need to have a parenting show. Like this is it. I knew that I wanted to get into this space and I thought instead of just focusing on the commiserating and complaining, cause I heard a lot of that.

I thought I’m going to make my show a little more newsy and I have three pillars to be illuminating, inclusive and inspiring. And I wanted people to listen and feel like, okay, I learned something. I’m going to do this little thing in my day. And it made me feel happier and made me a better person. And I wanted people to just step into the world like that after every single episode, whoever I had on. So that was the goal.

And know, mom sensed those words came to me when I was in the shower. Of course, of course.

JoAnn Crohn (24:11.49)

Best thoughts. Shower thoughts

Brie Tucker (24:14.550)

Especially as a mom that is where our best ideas come from. It’s the longest period of uninterrupted time we It’s true.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (24:23.150)

Exactly. It was like scalding hot water and I was alone and yes. And so yeah, I just thought, you know, it’s so important for us to trust our gut and this inner voice of ours, which is our intuition, our mom sense. And we all have it. You know, there’s dad sense, there’s auntie sense, there’s kid sense. Everybody has their intuition. You really have to lean into it. And there’s this psychologist who I follow, Erica Commissar.

Amazing. You should have her on your show too and I can help set that up.

JoAnn Crohn (24:56.200)

I would love any psychologist I

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (24:58.952)

And she calls this motherly instinct, it’s like the lost instinct. And so I’ve only discovered her after the fact, but I feel like it’s really delving into that too, that let’s trust our intuition and the fact that we actually know biologically what to do as moms. We don’t need a book or a coach or somebody else to teach us. You just know from within and so trust that.

JoAnn Crohn (25:25.950)

Ooh, I have so many questions to ask you and how fear plays into all of that and also how it relates to all the things that you have gone after and achieved in terms of like the time and how your mom sense relates to that. And we’re going to get into that right after this.

So, Kanika, you talk about mom sense, this internal knowing that moms have. A lot of moms out there in no guilt mom world are really doubting their mom sense right now because they know that there is a lot of fear also associated about like what we quote unquote should do with our kids. Like, how do you recommend finding your mom sense when you might be afraid?

of all the things that could go wrong if you go down a certain path.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (26:12.580)

I tackle this like a journalist. I think it’s so important to do your data gathering and your recon and learn as much as you can from everyone around you. think just the one-on-one exchange and advice is so important. And then the books and consume all the social media content out there. There’s tons of it. So yes, I do think that you start there, but then take a minute with yourself and think,

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (26:43.328)

What did I want as a kid? How did I want to be parented? Because more than likely your kids have similarities to you and they want the same thing. So you get to re-parent yourself when you have kids, which is great.

JoAnn Crohn (27:00.700)

That’s an interesting way to take it because like, what did you find about yourself when asking yourself that question? How did you change your parenting in relation to how you were parented?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (27:11.950)

Yeah. Well, I actually faced this this week. My older son isn’t like me in many ways. I’m a full on extrovert and he’s way more introverted.

Brie Tucker (27:27.790)

Party at 2!

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (27:31.278)

Yeah!

Brie Tucker (27:27.790)

You’re an extrovert. I feel like you’re more extrovert than introvert, JoAnn.

JoAnn Crohn (27:37.340)

Ambivert

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (27:38.200)

Ambivert. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It’s in there. But yeah, so when he comes out of his shell and he still like has close friends and can act like a goofball amongst his, you know, close friends and things like that. So he’s not like, complete, like shy wallflower. But he had this presentation in his history class. And he was totally frozen. And I got an email from the teacher. And she was like, Okay, so

He ripped up his poster board and really doesn’t want to this presentation. And it’s so unlike him. And I don’t know what’s up, but we’re here to support him. And, I’m actually letting him and everybody now take this poster board home that they were supposed to work on during class time only. So you guys can like fix it and work on it. And the first thing I did was I actually reverted to how my parents parented me and messed up.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (28:38.286)

and I had to hash myself. So I was like, why did you tear this up? like, you know, so he’s sorry, he actually worked on it with me for two hours, I let him do everything. So I taped on some construction paper for but most of it was like his handwriting and all of that. wasn’t like gonna do a project for him. The next day on Sunday, which is right before it’s due, he works it up again. Oh, I lost my shit.

Brie Tucker (29:06.000)

I would too!

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (29:07.800)

Yeah, I was like, we worked so hard on this and it’s due tomorrow and I can’t believe you and you know, it’s just a presentation. It’s really not a big deal. I was doing all the stuff that you’re not supposed to say that my parents would have said to me too. 

Brie Tucker (29:24.650)

It’s what naturally comes out. Let’s just be honest. We revert back to what we know.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (29:29.900)

Exactly. Exactly. And yeah, and I kind of like undermined the fact that I was like, you know, this is like a small class and, you know, you’re in second grade and it’s just it’s really not a big deal. You just have to just share a few facts. was a Jeopardy game. was like, you’re not even having to read. Like you just say like, oh, fun facts for 200. Like just read the frickin card. It’s really easy. And he just like looked at me like

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (29:59.342)

I was crazy, which I, cause I was yelling. I could see how he was just not feeling seen because he, he just wasn’t ready. So then I took a moment. We actually watched some Ted talks and some YouTube videos on public speaking. Yeah. And I was like, let’s just diagnosis right here. And, we found that. I don’t know the exact statistic, but like the majority of people actually fear public speaking more than death.

JoAnn Crohn (30:25.420)

I’ve heard that.

Brie Tucker (30:27.000)

God, really? As extrovert, we’re like, what?

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (30:27.700)

I know, I know. Yeah, I know, that’s so like…

Brie Tucker (30:34.100)

Everybody’s staring at me and listening to me. sounds awesome.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (30:37.358)

Exactly, exactly. Where’s the mic? Yeah, totally. Totally. I said, it’s not, you’re not alone. And let’s just tackle this. write, you write out your script with a paper and we’ll rehearse it a few times and just know that like, he just said like, oh, everybody’s watching me. And I said, you know, everyone in your class is actually worried about their own presentation. Nobody’s watching you. They’re rehearsing their own in their head while they’re sitting in the circle time. Don’t even worry about it.

So that’s how you reparented. So yes, instinctually, you’re gonna do exactly what your parents did to you. And then you’re gonna have to kind of reframe in the moment. And it’s okay if you like, mess up beforehand. But it’s nice when you catch it, because you’re like, see, I never got the redo. But he got the redo.

Brie Tucker (31:28.040)

I got the first part, but yeah, I never had the option for the second part. I love when you’re talking though about like the importance of, I mean, to go back a little ways, were, you were talking about the, that one of the things that you found when you first had your kids, that was important was having other moms around that were further down the line, right? That had older kids. I always say every mom needs a mom friend of child future, ghost of child future. We always need somebody.

The best thing I ever heard was I had a friend one time that told me I was stressing out massively about potty training. my youngest was all on board for potty training and then we had a mishap, her brother peed in her potty and she was like, I’m not touching it now. I swear to God, they’re the same way still.

JoAnn Crohn (32:13.550)

They’re like 18 months apart though, so it’s like not a big deal.

Brie Tucker (32:16.238)

Yeah, like six, yeah, 16 and 17 now and she’ll still be like, he touched my stuff. I can’t touch it now. But anyway, I digress. My friend who had kids that were in middle school at the time was like, you know, I can promise you they’re not going to go to college and still need to be potty trained. It’ll all work out before they leave your house. And I needed someone to tell me basically the chill the heck out. So it’ll happen.

JoAnn Crohn (32:43.700)

To chill the heck out. Well, Hanukkah, I love your perspective on parenting and especially the reparenting yourself and judging, looking at your mom’s sense and seeing what feels right to you and how you would want to be parented and doing that with your kids as well. As well as everything you have about manifesting, I’m really going to take that because I so admire everything you’ve accomplished. And I’m like, I need a vision board now. I’m going to do that. So I’m going to make my vision board.

I will post it somewhere and see, like, and make things happen.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (33:16.750)

Tag me and share it with me too. I’m excited.

JoAnn Crohn (33:19.000)

I will. I will totally share it with you. You have a podcast series coming up that you’re excited about. Tell us about that.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (33:26.316)

Yes. So this is a series with Meta and it’s called Parenting in the Digital Age. And though it’s a very polarizing topic, I think we can’t pull the wool over our eyes. We are in the AI generation. And so there’s going to be screens and apps and games. my, and we got to navigate it all. And so it’s a five-part series where we bring on

some celebrities and experts. And we talk about parenting our kids in the modern day. And I think it’s so important to exchange the stories and those little tidbits and tips. And then of course, understand how to use social media as parents. think one big way we can solve the problem of like too much screen time and you know, we all know the negative effects of it. There’s no denying that. It’s hyper stimuli that they have to deal with. But

when they are at an age that you feel like, okay, they can use this as a means to socialize. If parents have the tech fluency and are actually on the apps with their kids and bonding with them, then they’re not as likely to like go down the wrong path and, you know, succumb to all things in the dark web because, you know, mom and dad and the whole family knows what’s what because we’re all on her together.

So I think that’s what I want to encourage parents to do.

JoAnn Crohn (32:43.700)

Absolutely. It’s a conversation every step of the way with your kids is like the guide for them. Like we here at No-Guilt Mom talk about tech a lot and we’re very much of the way that yeah, tech could be really cool. Everybody needs to be educated about it, including the kids. And there’s always an ongoing conversation when it comes to tech. So I’m looking forward to your series. It sounds like it’ll be really awesome. Stories are better than all the Maxims about like no screen time or really 30 minutes a day.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (35:24.654)

Yes. Exactly,  So much more relatable.

Brie Tucker (35:28.250)

Okay, can I just say the whole 30 minutes a day thing? You were saying we live in the AI age. Our kids, I think all three of us can agree. The schools even are using the apps, right? So if you have a rule of like, let’s say 30 minutes a day, how are you supposed to do that when your child’s homework is to get on Kahoot or whatever, right? And all of that. I just think that it’s, yeah, there’s definitely some reeducation that we can do.

Being involved as a learning lesson is huge.

JoAnn Crohn (36:02.198)

We’re looking forward to that series and we’ll put the link in the show notes to Kanika. And it has been a joy and a pleasure. I’ve so enjoyed getting to learn more about you and your life. And thank you so much for being here.

Kanika Chadd-Gupta (36:12.754)

Thank you, JoAnn. And thank you, Brie. This was so, so fun. And I’m so glad that we had this chat.

JoAnn Crohn (36:21.198)

So near the end of that interview, we started talking about parenting and tech. And Bri, I have a story for you that actually my parents told me about like a very oversized reaction to parenting and tech. So my mom, know, she’s recovering from knee replacement surgery. And she says the other night she heard like all of this pounding outside and she had no idea what the pounding was. And then the next day police officers came to her door.

And it was because somebody had ran their car into her neighbor’s mailbox and then started beating the mailbox with the bat. And they wanted to know, yeah. And they wanted to know if my dad has cameras all over the house. They wanted to know if anything was caught on the cameras for outside. And so they dug a little bit more into this situation and they know the neighbor, like they’re friends with the neighbor. And what had happened is the neighbor

always watches her grandson who’s 12. And unknowing to the mom, neighbor bought grandson a cell phone and a tablet.

Mom lost it. of all, first of all, this is a very outside reaction to tech, but it also illustrates how it’s a very heated and polarizing topic tech is. So mom lost it. Her daughter lost it, came and smashed the tablet and the cell phone on the porch and then went after the mailbox. And I was like, and if anyone doesn’t know,

Brie Tucker (38:04.91)

Yeah?

Brie Tucker (38:09.659)

I’m like dude, you could have like smashed up anything on the front porch and been in less trouble

JoAnn Crohn (38:15.150)

Just rage, rage, guess. like, I mean, if people could go rage-y over cell phone and tablet, admittedly, there’s probably a lot more going

Brie Tucker (38:26.300)

I’m gonna guess there are other issues going on in that family, but that’s Yeah, still a big reaction there’s a few people I would have loved to have gone crazy like that on but luckily I fear of jail in my head I would even say the fear of God. It’s the fear of jail.

JoAnn Crohn (38:40.085)

Exactly.

JoAnn Crohn (38:44.302)

No one wants to go there. No one wants to go there. But Conica was a delight and go check out her podcast series.

Brie Tucker (38:52.700)

my gosh, yes, and her guests that she has on it are amazing.

JoAnn Crohn (38:56.800)

They’re good. She told us, can’t tell you guys yet. We can’t tell you, but maybe like, but they’re good guests. Make sure you keep it in your radar and remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker (39:11.49)

Thanks for stopping by.