Parenting

Parenting tips, advice, kid’s activities and how to manage a family.

Moms:  This is what happens when we constantly apologize
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Moms: This is what happens when we constantly apologize

My nine-year-old daughter sighed and stared out the car window at the glow of the street lamps. I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

“I don’t want to talk about it”

Ugh… roadblock. And it had been such a tame conversation.

She told me about how the class had to write a lot that night. Writing during dance class? Totally weird to me. So, I asked her,

“What did you have to write during dance class?”

Bam Total shut down. She clammed up. I had asked one too many questions.

“Ok. That’s fine.” I clenched my jaw. I asked one simple question. Why did she have to treat me like this?

Then, she turned me and said, “I’m sorry.” Not a heartfelt, “I’m sorry.” Rather, the apology dripped with guilt and fear that she had deeply offended me and didn’t want me to be mad at her.

How to win at allowance by NOT paying for chores
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How to win at allowance by NOT paying for chores

I stared at the complicated chore chart that my dad placed on our refrigerator.

42 cents for washing dishes. 20 cents for picking up my room.

When he first pitched this idea to my 10-year-old self, I wanted to do all the chores immediately.

This was my chance to earn $5 a week. Yes, I could do this!

So, I did the dishes. It took me 20 minutes and I didn’t even get enough money to buy a can of soda. Wouldn’t it be simpler to pull that red can of Coke out of our fridge?

That week, I completed a few boxes of chores from that monster list, collected my $1.15 and then ignored the list the next week.

Soon, the chore chart disappeared.

Want more quality time with your kids?  Here are 30 days of simple ideas
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Want more quality time with your kids? Here are 30 days of simple ideas

We all worry about whether we spend enough time with our kids.

On the phone with my mom one night, she said to me:

“You’re such a good mom. You spend so much time with your kids. I never did with that you.”

My mom worked as an administrative assistant at the hospital 4 miles down the road. Every night, she came home around 5:30pm, cooked dinner and then we all relaxed while watching Murphy Brown or Friends.

Truth is: I thought she spent enough time with me.

I felt pretty happy and content.

And frankly, I feel like a failure with this whole mom business.

The Simple Activity to Teach Social Skills that your kids will beg for
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The Simple Activity to Teach Social Skills that your kids will beg for

“No, sweetie, that hurts.”

My five-year-old son puts down the flashlight. His latest game involves shining the flashlight on opposite walls of our living room and having our very crazy pup chase it.

However, she gets a little too excited and ends up jumping on me – all sixty pounds of her.

At five, my son improves everyday at realizing that his actions have consequences.

He learned this by constantly making mistakes and getting corrected.

Stories are also a fantastic way to teach those skills.

Toddler Hitting Sibling
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Toddler Hitting Sibling

Not more than 2 seconds after they hop in the car, the screaming begins.

“No, that’s not what happened Erik. My lunch is at 11:35am, not 11:30.”

I brace myself.

“NO SISSY! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT”

And then, WHAP!

He reaches his little arm across the space in the bucket seats between them and hits her.

“Erik, DON’T HIT ME!!!”

That’s when I intervene.

I don’t know how school bus drivers do it. How do you discipline 30 kids when you’re trying to keep safe and focus on not veering your large yellow, monstrosity off the road

I’m in a Toyota Highlander with only two children and I’m ready to lose my mind.

Yelling At Child Doing Homework
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Yelling At Child Doing Homework

“Noooo… I can’t do it. I don’t have the time!!”

Have you heard this from your child when she sits down to do homework? My gosh, it wrecks me.

I can feel her overwhelm and so relate to it.

I know what it feels like to have so much to do and what seems like no time to do it.

So, I jump in and try to help.

“It’s ok sweetie, let’s write down all the things you have to do to get it out of your head.”

“NO!” she pouts back, “That won’t help. I don’t know any of this and I have to get started now.”

What do you do with that? You see the problem, you know the steps to take to fix it and yet your child pushes you away like you couldn’t possibly know what she’s talking about or what she’s dealing with.

How To Get A Child To Clean Up After Themselves
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How To Get A Child To Clean Up After Themselves

Ever walk in your house and become immediately overwhelmed with the stuff lying around?

Its bad enough when you have a kitchen junk counter stacked with 3 layers deep with kid’s artwork, random books and those gadgets for your door that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t really know how to install.

But then is all the stuff your kids leave laying in the living room or crammed onto the top of the family room game shelf.

3 Simple Ways to Make Homework Fun

3 Simple Ways to Make Homework Fun

I’m going to be blunt.

Right now, your child’s homework time just plain sucks.

It does.

You dread it every night. “Hey, have you done your math homework yet?

“NO! I can’t do my homework. I don’t want to do it yet. Can’t I watch TV? I’ll do it after dinner.”

So much back and forth and back and forth. It’s become too much.

The question is, how do you make your child want to do homework?

How do you make homework less boring?

Podcast Episode 119: Finding your Authentic Self with Ryan Haddon
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Podcast Episode 119: Finding your Authentic Self with Ryan Haddon

It can be hard finding your authentic self when we put so much energy into our family every day. It becomes so difficult to untangle where your identity ends and your identity as a parent begins (news flash- they are different)! We’re going to share 3 things you can do to have healthy boundaries with our kids and family and help you find your authentic self.

Podcast Episode 86: Parenting on the Same Page with Amy McCready
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Podcast Episode 86: Parenting on the Same Page with Amy McCready

It’s hard enough when you are trying to pick a place to go out to eat and no one is on the same page, but when you and your partner or co-parent aren’t on the same page…it can be downright agonizing! We discuss with Amy how parents can identify what the real issue is causing their parenting struggles and how to best get on the same page and become a united front.

Tween Mood Swings
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Tween Mood Swings

You walk in the door from school. Your nine-year-old comes in after you.

Everything seems fine. She’s happy. All is well and good.

Then, you remind her that the dishwasher needs unloading.

Boom. It’s like something inside her detonates.

“Noooo… I don’t have time to do that. That’s so unfair. I can’t believe you’re making me do this!:

She glares at you, stomps over to the kitchen sink and starts crying.

WHA-ATT just happened? She was happy. I didn’t blame her. I just had a simple request.

Podcast Episode 112: What is Social Justice Parenting?
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Podcast Episode 112: What is Social Justice Parenting?

When it comes to parenting, so many of us want to raise “good kids”. Kids who will be kind to others, who can problem solve, kids who truly understand and act out of compassion, and who understand inclusivity, justice, and equality. But there is often a space between raising “good kids” and raising pro-justice kids. That’s where the concept of Social Justice Parenting comes in.

Podcast Episode 61: How Logical Consequences are More Effective Than Punishments at Home
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Podcast Episode 61: How Logical Consequences are More Effective Than Punishments at Home

Too often, we fall into the trap of punishing our kids in the heat of the moment after something’s happened. But that hardly ever works. Here, we’ll discuss the difference between logical consequences and punishments, as well as how to make effective logical consequences that will have a positive impact on your discipline at home.

Podcast Episode #146: How to Parent Like a Spy with Christina Hillsberg
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Podcast Episode #146: How to Parent Like a Spy with Christina Hillsberg

Have you ever thought that being a parent should carry some training? How about spy training? I mean, who doesn’t want to learn how to parent like a spy? Meet Christina Hillsberg, former CIA agent and author who shares how her training as a spy has influenced her parenting with her 5 kids.

Middle School Organization Checklist
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Middle School Organization Checklist

It’s 6pm on a Thursday and I get a frantic text from a friend. Her daughter goes to the same school as mine.

“Hey, does your daughter have the math test from 2 months ago? The teacher is letting Celina retake it but she can’t find it.”

“Yeah, hold on, let me ask her.”

My daughter does have the test – which she doesn’t hand over right away because she wants to know exactly why she needs it, what it will be used for… third degree basically.
Satisfied with all my answers,she opens her binder to the math section, pulls out the test and hands it to me.
“Thanks,” my friend texts back, “I don’t know what Celina did with it.”

Could this be why you’re so frustrated as a mom?
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Could this be why you’re so frustrated as a mom?

Do you feel like you’re too nice?

One of my students called me out for that my first year of teaching.

In her very astute, wise little fifth grade voice she told me, “Mrs. Crohn, you are too nice”

But wait… don’t you want to be nice? Isn’t that something to aim for?

Kind yes. But nice…nice is taking on the full responsibility of other people’s feelings and adapting your behavior to make others happy.

That’s what I was doing when an 11-year-old called me out.

Creating A Bare Bones Budget When You’re Not Making Much Money
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Creating A Bare Bones Budget When You’re Not Making Much Money

In the midst of this strange season of social distancing and change, money may well be a scary topic for you. Maybe you’re like my family and you’re working through a big loss of income due to the pandemic? Maybe overwhelm and anxiety define your money situation in this season of uncertainty? Maybe you’ve decided to keep your head down and eyes closed, playing the “if I don’t look at it, then it can’t be real game” that our kids played when they were little?

Homework Helper Middle School
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Homework Helper Middle School

Dread your middle schooler’s homework every night? These tips for middle school parents will guide you in effective homework strategies.

There I was, sitting in my son’s 7th grade Parent-Teacher conferences, listening to the Literature teacher tell me the same thing I have heard for the past few years at every single conference…

“Your son is very bright, well-behaved, an absolutely pleasure in class. However, he doesn’t seem to get his homework done. And our first test of the year didn’t go very well for him.”