Parenting

Parenting tips, advice, kid’s activities and how to manage a family.

Your perfect after school checklist (that’s completely editable)
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Your perfect after school checklist (that’s completely editable)

I’ve learned one major thing about picking my kids up after school.

I cannot – by any means – ask them in any sort of cheery voice, “How was your day?”

My nine-year-old daughter recently told me that for some reason that question produces this fiery rage inside of her. She can’t explain it, but it makes her so mad.

I asked my husband about it that night and he said that the question has too many expectations attached to it. If someone really wants to know about your day, they will ask you directly with no fake cheer.

The cheer places too much of a burden on having a happy answer in response and that’s all fake.

OK, I get it.

But then, I realize that the response to anything I ask my kids to do after-school is met with groans and whines.

Why? Are your kids like this too?

How to give your kids criticism (so they’ll actually listen)
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How to give your kids criticism (so they’ll actually listen)

Every time I attend one of my daughter’s dance performances, I see this mom who looks like she’s in a constant state of panic.

She leans forward in the front row watching every step and studying every move.

When the dancers leave the stage, she corners her daughter. I hear her say,

“That was great, but you need to smile more.”
“Next time, kick your leg up a little higher.”

The criticism is all well-meaning.  She’s being nice and I can see that all she wants is for her daughter to improve.

I get that.

Her daughter retorts with an “OK mom, OK” and walks off.

I let my kids get away with not doing household chores – and its going to change
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I let my kids get away with not doing household chores – and its going to change

I come downstairs to see a pile of dishes in the sink. I hate dishes.

Unfortunately, I’m in this tough spot where I don’t want to do them and yet I have not yet assigned responsibility of them to anyone else.

Sure, we say its our kids’ job is to unload the dishwasher.

However, it doesn’t happen automatically.

I call to my kids, “Hey, the dishwasher needs unloading”

“OK,” my four-year-old yells, “I’ll do it when I come home from school!”

How does he know how to procrastinate at 4? I know what happens. He promises to do some household chore and then conveniently forgets when he comes home.

One Magic Phrase to Tell Your Kid When She is Scared
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One Magic Phrase to Tell Your Kid When She is Scared

“Mom, I can’t do this. I’m scared”

My daughter glares at me from the backseat, ready to cry. I can see it.

Recently, she’s developed a fear of bumpy and windy roads. Every road trip we take, her first question is always, “Will it be bumpy?”

I have no idea how this started or how the fear originated, but man, she can work herself up to the point where she starts feeling stomach aches and refuses to eat.

You Can Stop Rewarding Kids for Chores
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You Can Stop Rewarding Kids for Chores

I’m not picking up my toys for forty-five cents.

Even though it was close to 25 years ago, I remember that chore chart affixed with Disney magnets to our white fridge.

My dad had broken apart every chore in our home, assigned it a monetary value and created this perfectly organized chart.

If I did every chore on it, I would earn $2 a week.

That amount seems small now, but at the time, my 10-year-old self was pretty stoked.

So I scanned the list and decided to start with dishes. I quickly scrubbed the plates, bowls and silverware and placed them in the drying rack. It took me 20 minutes.

Yes! I went back to the list and check it off. Fifty-cents.

Already…I was done with this.

Time for a break.

Fast-forward a week later and that was the only box I completed on the ENTIRE chart.

What to do when your kid gives up too easily
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What to do when your kid gives up too easily

As soon as we stepped out of the theatre lobby, my nine-year-old daughter burst into tears.

“Oh my goodness, what’s wrong?” I pulled her close.

She nudged me away with a little whimper and used the back of her hand to sop up her face.

Immediately, my brain went into panic mode.

Was someone mean to her at camp?

Did she not have fun?

She climbed into the backseat and the whole story came tumbling out:

Toddler Hitting Sibling
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Toddler Hitting Sibling

Not more than 2 seconds after they hop in the car, the screaming begins.

“No, that’s not what happened Erik. My lunch is at 11:35am, not 11:30.”

I brace myself.

“NO SISSY! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOUR TALKING ABOUT”

And then, WHAP!

He reaches his little arm across the space in the bucket seats between them and hits her.

“Erik, DON’T HIT ME!!!”

That’s when I intervene.

I don’t know how school bus drivers do it. How do you discipline 30 kids when you’re trying to keep safe and focus on not veering your large yellow, monstrosity off the road

I’m in a Toyota Highlander with only two children and I’m ready to lose my mind.

Yelling At Child Doing Homework
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Yelling At Child Doing Homework

“Noooo… I can’t do it. I don’t have the time!!”

Have you heard this from your child when she sits down to do homework? My gosh, it wrecks me.

I can feel her overwhelm and so relate to it.

I know what it feels like to have so much to do and what seems like no time to do it.

So, I jump in and try to help.

“It’s ok sweetie, let’s write down all the things you have to do to get it out of your head.”

“NO!” she pouts back, “That won’t help. I don’t know any of this and I have to get started now.”

What do you do with that? You see the problem, you know the steps to take to fix it and yet your child pushes you away like you couldn’t possibly know what she’s talking about or what she’s dealing with.

How To Get A Child To Clean Up After Themselves
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How To Get A Child To Clean Up After Themselves

Ever walk in your house and become immediately overwhelmed with the stuff lying around?

Its bad enough when you have a kitchen junk counter stacked with 3 layers deep with kid’s artwork, random books and those gadgets for your door that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t really know how to install.

But then is all the stuff your kids leave laying in the living room or crammed onto the top of the family room game shelf.

3 Simple Ways to Make Homework Fun

3 Simple Ways to Make Homework Fun

I’m going to be blunt.

Right now, your child’s homework time just plain sucks.

It does.

You dread it every night. “Hey, have you done your math homework yet?

“NO! I can’t do my homework. I don’t want to do it yet. Can’t I watch TV? I’ll do it after dinner.”

So much back and forth and back and forth. It’s become too much.

The question is, how do you make your child want to do homework?

How do you make homework less boring?

Podcast Episode 119: Finding your Authentic Self with Ryan Haddon
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Podcast Episode 119: Finding your Authentic Self with Ryan Haddon

It can be hard finding your authentic self when we put so much energy into our family every day. It becomes so difficult to untangle where your identity ends and your identity as a parent begins (news flash- they are different)! We’re going to share 3 things you can do to have healthy boundaries with our kids and family and help you find your authentic self.

Podcast Episode 86: Parenting on the Same Page with Amy McCready
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Podcast Episode 86: Parenting on the Same Page with Amy McCready

It’s hard enough when you are trying to pick a place to go out to eat and no one is on the same page, but when you and your partner or co-parent aren’t on the same page…it can be downright agonizing! We discuss with Amy how parents can identify what the real issue is causing their parenting struggles and how to best get on the same page and become a united front.

Tween Mood Swings
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Tween Mood Swings

You walk in the door from school. Your nine-year-old comes in after you.

Everything seems fine. She’s happy. All is well and good.

Then, you remind her that the dishwasher needs unloading.

Boom. It’s like something inside her detonates.

“Noooo… I don’t have time to do that. That’s so unfair. I can’t believe you’re making me do this!:

She glares at you, stomps over to the kitchen sink and starts crying.

WHA-ATT just happened? She was happy. I didn’t blame her. I just had a simple request.

Podcast Episode 112: What is Social Justice Parenting?
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Podcast Episode 112: What is Social Justice Parenting?

When it comes to parenting, so many of us want to raise “good kids”. Kids who will be kind to others, who can problem solve, kids who truly understand and act out of compassion, and who understand inclusivity, justice, and equality. But there is often a space between raising “good kids” and raising pro-justice kids. That’s where the concept of Social Justice Parenting comes in.

Podcast Episode 61: How Logical Consequences are More Effective Than Punishments at Home
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Podcast Episode 61: How Logical Consequences are More Effective Than Punishments at Home

Too often, we fall into the trap of punishing our kids in the heat of the moment after something’s happened. But that hardly ever works. Here, we’ll discuss the difference between logical consequences and punishments, as well as how to make effective logical consequences that will have a positive impact on your discipline at home.

Podcast Episode #146: How to Parent Like a Spy with Christina Hillsberg
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Podcast Episode #146: How to Parent Like a Spy with Christina Hillsberg

Have you ever thought that being a parent should carry some training? How about spy training? I mean, who doesn’t want to learn how to parent like a spy? Meet Christina Hillsberg, former CIA agent and author who shares how her training as a spy has influenced her parenting with her 5 kids.

Middle School Organization Checklist
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Middle School Organization Checklist

It’s 6pm on a Thursday and I get a frantic text from a friend. Her daughter goes to the same school as mine.

“Hey, does your daughter have the math test from 2 months ago? The teacher is letting Celina retake it but she can’t find it.”

“Yeah, hold on, let me ask her.”

My daughter does have the test – which she doesn’t hand over right away because she wants to know exactly why she needs it, what it will be used for… third degree basically.
Satisfied with all my answers,she opens her binder to the math section, pulls out the test and hands it to me.
“Thanks,” my friend texts back, “I don’t know what Celina did with it.”

Could this be why you’re so frustrated as a mom?
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Could this be why you’re so frustrated as a mom?

Do you feel like you’re too nice?

One of my students called me out for that my first year of teaching.

In her very astute, wise little fifth grade voice she told me, “Mrs. Crohn, you are too nice”

But wait… don’t you want to be nice? Isn’t that something to aim for?

Kind yes. But nice…nice is taking on the full responsibility of other people’s feelings and adapting your behavior to make others happy.

That’s what I was doing when an 11-year-old called me out.

Creating A Bare Bones Budget When You’re Not Making Much Money
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Creating A Bare Bones Budget When You’re Not Making Much Money

In the midst of this strange season of social distancing and change, money may well be a scary topic for you. Maybe you’re like my family and you’re working through a big loss of income due to the pandemic? Maybe overwhelm and anxiety define your money situation in this season of uncertainty? Maybe you’ve decided to keep your head down and eyes closed, playing the “if I don’t look at it, then it can’t be real game” that our kids played when they were little?

Homework Helper Middle School
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Homework Helper Middle School

Dread your middle schooler’s homework every night? These tips for middle school parents will guide you in effective homework strategies.

There I was, sitting in my son’s 7th grade Parent-Teacher conferences, listening to the Literature teacher tell me the same thing I have heard for the past few years at every single conference…

“Your son is very bright, well-behaved, an absolutely pleasure in class. However, he doesn’t seem to get his homework done. And our first test of the year didn’t go very well for him.”