Podcast Episode 319: Don’t Make These Big Mistakes- Do This Instead This Holiday Season Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn

Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. am your host JoAnn Crohn joined here by the delightful Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker 

Why? Hello, hello everybody. How are you?

JoAnn Crohn 

There’s a bottle of whiskey on our shelf downstairs. It’s called Bib and Tucker. And so every time I see it, I think of you. I’m like, that looks so much like Brie Tucker. Bib and Tucker. Bib and Tucker.

Brie Tucker 

Well, yeah, that’s me for every time I see Josh wine. So yeah

JoAnn Crohn 

Josh Wines, every time I see Josh, I could pick out the Josh Wine label anywhere because of my husband. Like I was watching the show, The Lioness on Paramount Plus, and he was drinking a bottle of Josh Wine by the pool. I’m like, that’s Josh Wine right there. Josh Wine. It’s funny, my husband was actually the first one to find that wine and he brought it home for me. And he’s like, I thought you needed the best.

Brie Tucker  

Mm-hmm.my gosh.

God, yeah, what law? I think it’s funny that we get so excited when we find something that’s named after us in some way, or form.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah. yeah, I have a whole fabric store and art store, JoAnn’s. There’s actually…

Brie Tucker 

Mm-hmm. I have a whole cheese named after me. Actually, Providence in France where the cheese is named. There you go.

JoAnn Crohn

Yes, yes. Well, there’s been a lot of Joanne characters too on TV. Like, Nobody Wants This, the Kristen Bell, Adam Brody, rom-com on Netflix, her name is JoAnn, Kristen Bell’s character’s name’s JoAnn. And then in Lioness, Zoe Saldana’s name is Joe. So it’s like, yeah, it’s coming back. JoAnn’s coming back.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah? There you go.

I’ll say that that works the same for me. It feels like most of the characters named Brie in a show are not the best characters.

JoAnn Crohn 

Not really.

Brie Tucker 

On Desperate Housewives, there was Brie and she was the perfectionist control freak mom and gosh, there’s another show I was watching where one of the villains was named Brie and I’m like, hey, that’s not fair. We’re cheesy people. We are like the silliest, friendliest, but I digress, there is Brie.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah? Hey, be nice, yeah. Cheesy people. Cheesy people.

Brie Tucker 

tied into today’s and Joanne’s would say too, tied into today’s topic of our podcast. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn 

yes, it’s the holidays. The holidays. Otherwise known as, for me, one of the most stressful times of the entire year.

Brie Tucker 

It’s the most stressful time of the year. With the kids bugging you all the time and the all the extra responsibilities from school and everything.

JoAnn Crohn 

It is! I can’t, I just can’t. Like all of the expectations.

Yep, it’s very, very, very busy. It’s like it’s so stressful and busy because there are so many additional obligations. Family dinners, presents, like everything. I sound like the Grinch when it comes to the holiday season, but that’s kind of how I feel. Yeah.

Brie Tucker

Okay, sorry.

And you’re not. Yeah, but I would say though, like you’re not, like you do very much enjoy the holidays. But with all that being said, I would like to point out that I am not a huge fan of Halloween. What month is my birthday? October. You’re not the biggest fan of all the craziness of like the holidays and possibly even December, right?

JoAnn Crohn 

Halloween. Yeah. Yeah, because my birthday’s then, my daughter’s birthday’s then, my brother-in-law’s birthday’s then, like everyone’s birthday is in December and so is every all the other obligations. And that was real cool as a kid. I loved December as a kid, favorite month of the year, but I had no responsibility. Yeah, yeah. And so like, I don’t like this whole responsibility of the holidays thing and especially how overblown.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah. Cause you had, you got to sit back and enjoy it. That’s why, right? Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn 

It has become because of social media, how you feel like you have to have it all together and have these gorgeous feasts and have everything going well. So today we are going to actually define what makes the holidays stressful. We’re gonna tell you some mistakes that we see people making that you could maybe see right now in your own life and turn around real quick. And we’re gonna give you some tips on how to make this season a lot less stressful. Now let’s get on with the show.

OK, let’s define this. So Bree, I think the biggest source of stress in the holidays is all of the expectations and obligations that we put on ourselves during this month.

Brie Tucker 

certainly. And I think that those obligations and I mean, it looks it looks different and yet it’s the same for every single one of us, right? Like the the list of things. man, we did this on one episode, I think, where we actually wrote down on a sheet of paper all the things that we were responsible for in the holiday season. And yeah, it’s it’s crazy. Like I could say I if someone walked up to me today and said, is are the holidays were stressful now?

JoAnn Crohn 

Yes.

Brie Tucker 

or when your kids were little. And I would tell you in a heartbeat, when my kids were little, because I had to do so much for them. But when I actually stop and think about it, I actually have just as much, if not more now that they’re older, because my family has gotten older as well. And so like, and there’s other traditions that have started, like it just builds and it’s different. It’s still a lot, but it’s different. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn 

It does build. It does build. And I’m like such a people pleaser too. And so like, I hate not fulfilling like the obligations and it hurts my heart when my kids are like, we’re not gonna do that this year. That’s a tradition. And I’m like, if you wanna take that on, you can, but I can’t do it. And I say that out loud and I know that’s what I’m supposed to be saying to set the boundary and that’ll like pay off for me in the long run.

But I also feel like this crinkly like, my gosh, I’m such a bad mom. How could I not have all the energy to do this? Is this because I’m too selfish? Like all those thoughts come in my head. They’re very hard to counter, very hard to counter.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah. They are, they are, but you know what though too, like what you just said about how, like one of the things that makes the holidays so stressful, I think for so many of us is the fact.

A lot of the, I’m sorry, I’m pausing because I’m trying to figure out how to correctly articulate this so that I am not bashing anybody. But it feels like the bulk of the responsibility does tend to fall on the default parent, which often tends to be the mom when it comes to the holidays. And like you have got a great story about one year when the holidays kind of broke you.

JoAnn Crohn

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

yeah, they broke me. mean, that’s the reason like we do what we do now in balance. Cause I put all those expectations on myself and I said yes to all the things and my husband was working at his job and doing that. But I was also running a company and trying to do everything at home that I just sat on the couch and cried all day Christmas because I just felt all alone in it. It’s like that SNL sketch where like mom does everything for everyone else and they get mom a robe. and I didn’t even feel that. Yeah.

Brie Tucker  

Right? And then they got the dog or- the end, she’s like, and I got a robe. nice. And then they got the dog, a robe. nice. There’s going be a link to that here in the show notes for you guys, because that was a good one. That really did. That got the essence of the disappointment sometimes on the fact that we put so much energy and effort into the holidays a lot of times for our families, and we don’t feel like we see it back.

JoAnn Crohn

Yeah Yeah, but that’s how you feel.

Brie Tucker 

So not only do you have the stress that you have to make it perfect for all of them, you also, think, and correct, tell me if you’ve never, if you don’t agree with this, Joanne, but then we also have the, we’re dealing with the fact that we try to not get upset when our family doesn’t return that level of excitement, enthusiasm towards us. Like how…

JoAnn Crohn 

because we’ve all been trained that it’s best to be selfless. We should do this out of selfless love for our family. And so even though we have these very real emotions about feeling disrespected and not appreciated, we’re supposed to swallow it up because, my gosh, how dare we say that we were doing it for anything else other than selfless love for everyone, which is just BS, guys. It’s BS.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah, I was gonna say, can we say that is just a full on wheelbarrow full of crap? It is not true. So not true.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah, it is not true. And I do see this still perpetuated online effect in a lot of like Christian mom blogger communities, specifically and the tradwife communities, which are the traditional womanhood who stays at home and kicks care of the house and makes all the dinners while her husband works. That is still the case.

You are not supposed to want anything. You are not supposed to need anything. The fact that you could stay home with your children is the biggest gift of all. That’s crap.

Brie Tucker 

It is, and you know what else? You and I both 100 % agree is crap. Do not listen to that you only have 18 Christmases. You only have 18 Thanksgiving’s. You only have 52 weekends a year, Saturday mornings a year. Like what? No, no, because if you are actually having a relationship with your kids, guess what? They’ll still come to see you after they turn 18.

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm-hmm. they’ll stick around for a long time.

Brie Tucker 

Right? So like it, we’re telling you that it’s okay if not every holiday this time of the year, I swear to God, I feel like I’m on a roller coaster and we are going down the big drop at the beginning because Halloween starts and then it’s like, you know, you’ve got Thanksgiving, you’ve got Christmas, you’ve got Hanukkah, you got Kwanzaa, you got New Year, you got so much coming up that it’s like, my God, it never ends.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah, yeah, no, it’s true.

Brie Tucker 

It’s a lot to cram in. It’s almost like somebody forgot when they were planning the calendar for the year. was like, crap, we have holidays. Let’s just shove them all in December. It’s all good. It’s all good.

JoAnn Crohn 

It’s like the fire drills, the necessary fire drill schools have to have at the end of each month. And so they’re always on the last day of the month. Yeah, that’s how it goes.

Brie Tucker 

Yes, like the 30th or the 31st? I used to try to not go visit my preschools at the end of the month, because I’m like, hate fire.

JoAnn Crohn

fire drills all the time, all the time. Well, after this, we are going to get into some things and mistakes that we see people making that may make your stress level a little higher than it needs to be. And we’ll get into that right after this.

Okay, so let’s talk about stress areas to be aware of. Something that I see people doing is allowing all of their extended family to infiltrate their entire house, even though they hate it. They hate it. And they say that they’re doing this for the benefit of the kids and everything, but it’s like a week long stress-filled event for them and they’re the ones who have to be cooking and they’re the ones who have to be cleaning and the rest of the extended family just kind of sits around and does nothing, but they’re doing this for the good of the kid.

Brie Tucker 

Or even worse in my opinion, when the extended family tries to all get up in your space and do things, like, let me help you with that. And they don’t do it the right way. Or they like come in and tell you that you’re doing it wrong or they’re they’re just isn’t enough room in the kitchen for six of us to be in here, get the hell out. It doesn’t trigger me at all. What, what?

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm.Yes!

That would be hard. Yeah. That doesn’t, you might be a little triggered there. We may have to talk about this one.

Brie Tucker 

tapping, Brie’s gonna start tapping. We’ll get to that later.

JoAnn Crohn 

Tapping. my goodness. I don’t have that reaction. I don’t have it. I guess when my parents come over, they sit on the couch a lot and they don’t want to be in the way. That makes me sad too. I would rather have them in there talking with me. My mom does. My mom actually talks with me and then she goes, tells my dad. She’s like, what are you doing? You’re just sitting there on the couch.

Brie Tucker 

You know, I…

I will say it’s triggering to me just in the sense of like people being in my kitchen. But honestly, when it comes to the holidays, I can’t relate to the house issue. I have a three story house. Nobody wants to come over to my house because they have to walk up all these stairs just to get to the living room. And they’re all like, nah, we’ll have it at Shanna’s. Nah.

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker 

Everybody else in my family owns a one, well, Shanna does have a two story, but everybody else in my family owns a one story like ranch house. And there’s a reason for that. And so I never get, I never have to host the holidays, but that does make it more stressful. Like, so a problem that I have for somebody that doesn’t host it, packing up all the crap I have to take to that person’s house. That’s another.

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm. And there’s everything. Yeah, that’s a lot. I-

Brie Tucker 

It’s a lot. So I would say that’s a lot too. That’s a lot of stress too. It’s a mistake always saying, I’ll bring six of those. I’ll bring lots of this. I’ll bring that. No, that causes so much stress. That’s almost as bad as saying you’ll host it.

JoAnn Crohn 

No.

That is one thing I have caught onto because in previous family dinners, I’m like, my gosh, I want to show them like I can make this really yummy dish and like it’ll be the yummiest dish ever. And then like it’s something that would take me like four hours on the day of and just make me like a horrible mess. I’ve learned this lesson, Bri, so much so that we are planning right now a family holiday dinner and there’s a group text going on and they’re like, okay, like we’re going to do like the big

Brie Tucker 

cook right uh-huh. Thank God.

JoAnn Crohn 

main course and some mashed potatoes. What’s everyone else doing? Here’s some ideas. And I turned to my husband and I’m like, so the Trader Joe’s salads are real good. What if I just like say we’ll do the salad and I’ll get one of the Trader Joe’s salads. We get two bags, mix them together, already chopped everything. And we do a charcuterie tray because I saw Trader Joe’s has charcuterie trays that look real good as well. And so that’s what I’m bringing charcuterie and salad all from Trader Joe’s.

Brie Tucker 

Yup. I love it.

And it’s funny you said that, like about the whole like, I want to show them I can cook. I, so I think I’ve said before that in my family, I am the baby. And when it comes to the holidays, they’re pretty much, Hey Bri, can you bring bread, a dessert and like ice? Like that’s all I get assigned. Cause I’m not known for great cooking skills, but yet I still kill myself every Thanksgiving. I normally don’t do it as well. I’d kind of do it for Christmas too. Yeah. Cause that’s what we celebrate in our house. But,

JoAnn Crohn 

Okay

Brie Tucker 

I will make it my personal mission to make my family like vegetables, because my family’s not a huge vegetable family, my extended family. So I’ll be like, I’m going to make the most delicious cauliflower and they’re going to love it. And nobody will even try it. But I spent three hours in the kitchen, $100 in groceries. I just need to stop. I need to stop. It’s insanity. I do the same thing every year expecting a different response. I need to stop.

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know. that’s so disappointing.

My main goal during the holiday season now is for me to have fun. That’s the main goal and not be completely like, want to make sure I’m the mood caretaker. I want to take care of the mood. No holiday dinner is great when you go over to a host house or you have any family member who is running around stressed out of their mind. Like immediately everyone’s like, okay, what could I do for you? Calm down. And that person like, no, I got it. Everything’s good over here.

Brie Tucker 

Mm-hmm. That’s a good goal.

JoAnn Crohn 

and they don’t even come and talk with you. They don’t hang out with you. They’re just there working in the kitchen. That’s not good. That’s not a good holiday in my opinion.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah! Yeah!

Right, think about it. How many holidays have you missed because you were busy arranging things or doing something else for everybody else? And I’m talking big and small. Like even when we would do like, I don’t know, a movie and cocoa night, I would stress myself out going to the store to buy all the extra little touches for the cocoa and…

JoAnn Crohn

Yeah.

Brie Tucker 

helping everybody get theirs made and all this stuff. And then by the time we get in to watch the movie, I’m like, don’t spill this here. do you need more of that? Let me go get it because I want their experience to be magical. And instead my experience is a pain in the arse. I just am like running around everywhere. Hate it.

JoAnn Crohn 

And well, I also want to add that like you want either experience to be magical, but could perhaps your stress level be taking away from their magical experience.

Brie Tucker

Ooh, that is a very good point. And I bet it probably is because like, yeah, my kids will tell me I can be high strung. They have teens, so they are very brutally honest. They’re like, Mom, you’re way stressed out. Go sit down.

JoAnn Crohn

Nice job! yeah. Go sit down. I like that they could tell you to go sit down. That’s a good thing. Yeah. But and then another thing that I see happening is these Christmas cards. I used to do Christmas cards all the time, but they were like when my kids were little and cute, it was great. When my kids are a teenager and don’t want to sit for pictures anymore. Not so great. Like always like real hard getting those Christmas pictures real hard getting a picture that each one of them likes and is okay with because Where I think they look cute. Mmm. Mom doesn’t know nothing

Brie Tucker 

 Yeah. I know, right? my God, we got family pictures two, three years ago, I forget. And I think that my daughter looks adorable in them. You can see her dimples and everything and she hates them. She hates when I show anybody them. I don’t know why. She’s the one who me why she doesn’t like pictures, but I think that she looks adorable in them. And so yeah, yeah, it can be hard. And you know what else was a pain in the butt about the Christmas cards?

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah.

Brie Tucker 

addresses and stamps and writing them all out. Like I started doing emails when my kids were little, but you’re right. I haven’t done a Christmas update to anybody in a long time.

JoAnn Crohn 

my gosh. Well, when I stopped doing Christmas cards, we stopped getting Christmas cards. And I have to say like that was, I know, me too. that, yeah, that was kind of sad. It was kind of sad though, because I used to use, mean, I’m being very honest here. All the Christmas cards I get was a representation of how much I was loved by everyone else that I was on their Christmas card list. You know, do you ever, did you ever feel that? Yeah.

Brie Tucker  

Same, I get like three, I get three. From my friends that had kids later in life that are like, I still wanna share my kid. Yeah. you are not alone on that. I’m, yeah. I felt like I was like, look how many people care. But at the same time, if I were to send somebody a card for Christmas and I don’t know, let’s say they threw it away, because they didn’t wanna put up cards on the wall, I wouldn’t have cared. I would have been like, that’s fine, no worries. don’t really, I don’t mind.

JoAnn Crohn 

Look how many people care. No.

Brie Tucker 

So then that shows you that that is not a representation of all the people that love you. I still love you even if you throw out the card. I still love you if you don’t send me a card.

JoAnn Crohn 

No! feel like almost, and this is going to be a little controversial, but 

Brie Tucker 

Ooh, lay it on me.

JoAnn Crohn 

Christmas cards are a little ego driven to show how cute and wonderful our family is and then send it out to everybody else. Hot take. Yeah, hot take. They can be ego driven  because I mean, looking at the quality of photography on some of those Christmas cards, I’m like, that cost you a pretty penny. I know how much photography costs with that. that’s yeah.

Brie Tucker 

Ooh, hot take. Certainly can be, certainly can be. I know, right? Family pictures. That’s like a, what you just laid down was like a third glass of wine, like honest truth. Like three glasses of And you know what else pisses me off about Holly’s? Damn Christmas cards. look at my, sorry. That’s just in my head.

JoAnn Crohn 

I think they’re ego-driven.

I think they’re, yeah. No, I’m willing to like put it out there for it because they cause us so much stress. Yes, yes. And it’s something that you could let go of. Let go of the Christmas cards. You really don’t need it. If you want great pictures of your family, yes, more power to you because looking back on those, like over the years, it’s gonna bring you a lot of joy.

Brie Tucker 

Yep, that’s something we hold deep down. Yeah, as long as it’s for you. Yeah. but if you feel like you have to do this to show off to everybody else, and I don’t mean that you probably aren’t like thinking that you probably are being like, let’s put this Christmas card in the mail to show off to everyone else, but you probably kind of are because I was, I was, I will be honest about that. I’m like, my gosh, these pictures are so cute. I have such an adorable daughter. Let’s do a little humble brag and let’s put it in there. Like I said, I she’ll do it.

I could see you with like a doctor, doctor evil type thing of, whoa, they’re going to love my Christmas cards.

JoAnn Crohn 

Well, you wrap it under the guise of being like, I am so festive and everybody’s getting a Christmas card. And so it looks like you’re this magnanimous human being, but deep down, it’s an ego-driven thing.

Brie Tucker  

Look how cute my kids are. Yeah, I remember that. yeah. God, having a 17 and 16 year old now, I don’t think they would look as cute if I took them to like the Sears and did the Christmas pictures anymore.

JoAnn Crohn 

No, but I still do it. I still do ego driven stuff. And guys, I’m going to tell you exactly what I’m saying right now about my kids right after this.

Brie Tucker 

Okay, tell us, lay it on us, girl. What is going on here?

JoAnn Crohn 

Okay. Okay, so like, you could put humblebrags everywhere. Humblebrags happen during the holiday season. Humblebrags happen all the time. Just ego-driven stuff that you probably say that makes other people feel like crap because their kids aren’t doing the same thing. And I totally embellish something that, not embellish, it’s totally true. What I say is, right, like this past weekend, my daughter went to go get TB tested.

TB testing, which is a really rare thing. So what do I say about that? yeah, she got her TB test because she’s volunteering in nursing homes. I mean, what a great human being. And I’m like, this is why I’m telling everybody this, because my ego needs propped up a little bit. But we see it everywhere on social media. mean, just in our neighborhood group, was somebody posted their ring camera.

about a little girl who came up to a house in the neighborhood and she saw all the candy buckets were empty. And so she started giving putting candy in her the buckets from her back. And everyone’s like, my gosh, the parents did such a good job with her. my goodness, guys. Some people are just like that. And it’s not the parents at all. I have to say that when I saw all the parents did such a good job.

Brie Tucker

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn 

I bet the parents themselves, and I know the parents themselves, because the parents themselves commented and they’re just like, she is just the sweetest human being because they’re amazed as well. It wasn’t them.

Brie Tucker 

Yeah, they’re like, we’ve never taught her that when the candy buckets are empty, you share.

JoAnn Crohn

Yeah, yeah, no. And it’s so interesting how much is like put on the parents as them having a direct responsibility in it when it’s just like human beings are so different. And this comes back to the holidays too. Human beings are so different that the level of maybe your neighbor’s holiday cheer isn’t going to be the level of yours, but that doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a person or

Brie Tucker 

So. Right? Well, right. And like what I was going to say is it kind of comes back to another mistake that we have is, and this should be our last mistake because we were supposed to be done with that a minute ago, but well, is that we compare ourselves. We see stuff on social media and we think that that’s how we can, that’s how we’re supposed to do things. And I don’t mean it in a way. Okay. So you might be listening about going like,

JoAnn Crohn 

any less of a good person.

Brie Tucker 

No, that’s not it at all. If I see something on social media that I think is awesome, I’m noting it because I want to do it myself. Uh-huh. Yeah. You want to do it yourself because you saw it, you saw somebody else is doing it. So you thought, my gosh, I can do that too. And then before you know it, you have all these expectations that you yourself, no one else has put on you for the holidays. And it’s just insane. It’s just insane. So, so with that being said,

JoAnn Crohn 

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker 

I wanted us to like, or I, we wanted to share what are the ways, what are the tips that we can share to put up like healthy boundaries, have healthy hacks, things that can make it easier for you not to drown in the holidays. Yeah, yeah.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah. Yeah. My biggest one is it goes wrong delegation, but it’s actually something that I feel slightly guilty for. And yet it provides me so much relief over the season because we just had a podcast episode about how you and I don’t like spending money. We don’t like spending money. Guess who does like spending money? My husband loves it. He loves spending money. And so he is responsible for getting all of the kids gifts and wrapping them. Many times, like I don’t even know what they’re unwrapping when they come out. I don’t. And that makes me feel a little guilty. And so I just had a conversation with my almost 60 year old and she’s like, yeah, remember you and dad got this for me for Christmas a few years ago. I’m like, yeah, we did. And I had no idea because that is my husband’s job and he does an extremely good job at it. And I stay out of it. So.

That is the measure of true delegation. If you don’t know what’s going on in the task and yet it’s done, bam, it’s delegated.

Brie Tucker 

I love it. I love it. What is something that you have delegated that or that not you, sorry, that you guys have decided that is solely on your plate. So he does the shopping and the wrapping for presents. What’s something that’s solely on your plate that he keeps his biz out of?

JoAnn Crohn 

I think he keeps his biz out of everything. So it’s like, bye.

That’s a general consensus there. Like he isn’t…

Brie Tucker

Yeah, you’re like, I arrange all the rest of it, but, and you know what though, that is a huge piece and being able to uphold that boundary is huge. So we’re gonna give you guys like, I know you’re gonna hop in on this with me. I’m pulling an audible, Joy doesn’t know what I’m gonna say here. I think that we can give you guys a couple of scripts on what to say when someone tries to break that boundary. Okay, so pretend I’m your husband.

JoAnn Crohn

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker

honey, I’m just really busy. I’ve got this huge meeting next week and I gotta prepare for a presentation after that. Could you just do the presents this year? I’m just stressed.

JoAnn Crohn

Let’s talk about this right now because I can’t do the presence either and they need to be done. So how about we sit down and figure out a plan for what we want to do this year.

Brie Tucker

You see that? She didn’t say, okay.

JoAnn Crohn 

huh. Yeah, because I mean, everything is a creative problem solving process. Just because one person can’t do it, it just means that they can’t do it to the method that has always been done in years past. And it doesn’t mean that it still has to be the same way it’s done in years past. There are so many solutions to that present thing that talking together would handle. Now in our house, I mean, our kids make it easy. They just put other things on wish lists and then like it’s basically going to Amazon and pushing the buy button.

Brie Tucker  

Mm-hmm. yeah, I beg my kids to make an Amazon wishlist because that would be, so that is a hack I have. And our family, kind of all, my sisters and I all kind of do it with our kids. We make an Amazon wishlist. Now here’s the advantage of it. And I wanna be clear that I’m not saying anything has to be bought on Amazon, but the reason we do the Amazon wishlist is that they can specify the color, the size, and my parents who are very much like me and are visual people.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah.

Brie Tucker 

can see what the gift actually looks like. Cause I can guarantee you, my mom, she’s a Coles girl, loves that Coles cash. She will be whatever is on that wishlist. She’s going to go get at Coles with her Coles cash and like their special sales that she gets to go to. But the Amazon wishlist is easy to share virtually and it makes it easy for everybody to be able to see what it is. So I like that as a, as a tip for the kids, as opposed to remember when we used to like.

JoAnn Crohn  

Yeah.

Brie Tucker 

circle stuff in in the catalogs like the the Toys R Us catalog or the Sears. god and we would end since there was three of us my parents would make us we all had different colored markers we had to use to circle it so my parents knew who wanted what.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah. And then I would never get that. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn 

It is definitely easier getting gifts this day and age. My daughter always finds like some new holiday gift app and then she teaches my son how to use it and then they both have their wish lists on that. Yeah, she’s like so into it. So I really take advantage of like the older kids gifts in this like not gifts, the Christmas gifts, but like their general like in like what they’re good at, what they really like to encourage others to do. And my daughter is all about Christmas and she’s all about the gift lists and she loves the organization of it all. And so she takes over and

gets my son on board with it, which honestly, he adores his big sister, even though they fight and he will, if I grilled him and I’m like, you love her and he’d be like, like he wouldn’t, he wouldn’t cop to it, but he adores her. And anytime she takes an interest in him, he does exactly what she says. She has no idea her power. I think that is the power of older sisters and younger siblings as well. Older siblings in particular. I didn’t know my power.

Brie Tucker 

I would say in our house, my daughter’s the younger of the two, but she definitely is the one that can relate to my son better than anybody else. yeah.

JoAnn Crohn 

Yeah, it’s true. And they’ll fight and they’ll fight and they’ll fight. And yet, like, when they come together, you’re just like, and hands off, and I’m backing away, and I am not disturbing the good things happening right here.

Brie Tucker

Right? Yep, yep. You’re like, I will let that go. I was thinking another really good boundary that you can do on the holidays is I am not cooking. You’re not cooking. Like I don’t wanna have to coordinate a stinking family potluck. I don’t wanna have to make a turkey and have like a whole meal out for everybody. So guess what guys, another really great.

JoAnn Crohn 

Mmm.

Brie Tucker 

boundary you could put up, like if you do say like, we’re not cooking, like we’re not dealing with that. You can order meals that are going to rival your grocery bill. I can guarantee you on that. Like ordering meals, right? And food from other places. Most of the time it comes with dishes and plates and all that jazz that you need to go along with it and…

JoAnn Crohn 

You can order a meal soon.

Brie Tucker 

The stress that that takes away from everybody, nobody stressing out of like, did I make two of the same dish or is everybody gonna like my cauliflower? No, Bri, no, we don’t like cauliflower. Quit bringing it to the damn Thanksgiving meal. Nobody wants cauliflower. I just, well, thank you. Thank you. I will make you some of my, I love butternut squash. I will make you some of my famous buffalo cauliflower bites, but anywho.

JoAnn Crohn 

Hahaha. I love cauliflower, by the way. I’d probably eat all the cauliflower. Yeah. That and butternut squash. love squash.

I love them.

Brie Tucker 

Regardless, I think that ordering meals and ordering things in advance are a huge help for the holidays. As a matter of fact, one of our sponsors right now is HelloFresh. So if you like the idea of having the groceries delivered to you and the exact amounts that you need for everything, click on our link below in the show notes and you can even get a discount with HelloFresh.

JoAnn Crohn 

yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I mean, there’s so many easy things to do. Definitely. So we are with you in this stress level for the holidays. And we hope that maybe you were able to listen to a few things in here, realize that you’re causing yourself a little more stress than you’d be and have that permission to just back off, to delegate, to have kids do their own lists, to have a partner group, like do all the gift shopping for you. Get your food, some are delivered, get it delivered.

Brie Tucker

Yeah, yeah, so many.

And it, right? In your holidays do not have to be Pinterest perfect because you have more than 18 of them. You have more than 18 holidays with your family.

JoAnn Crohn 

and your mood and your happiness will make this a much more memorable holiday season than any of your stress will. So just remember that. So until next time, remember the best mom’s the happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker 

Thanks for stopping by.