The Shock is Gone about the Florida High School Shooting
Yesterday, a former student of Marjory Stoneman Douglas School in Parkland, FL pulled a fire alarm and then fired shots into crowds of students exiting their classrooms.
17 people died.
Dr. Brene Brown, a research professor who has spent the last ten years studying courage, authenticity and shame, states how the very definition of privilege is this belief that if it doesn’t directly affect us, we don’t have to act.
We can stay in our lane, going about our business and not get involved because we’re not directly affected.
Now, I don’t live in Florida.
I’m not the mother of a high schooler.
I’m not an expert on gun laws, mental health or even know the whole story about what happened.
And neither are you.
Yet, we can both speak up and do something to prevent this from happening again and again.
Because here’s what’s scary:
We, as a nation, are becoming desensitized to these events.
Mass shootings happen so often that now when we see the breaking news our brain automatically goes, “Oh, its another shooting.”
Shock is wearing off. Our surprise is gone.
It’s becoming something we almost expect.
And that’s what we can stand up against.
This belief that mass shootings are the new normal.
When Columbine happened, time stopped. Now, this horrible tragedy in Florida becomes simply a red blinking header on the top of CNN.
My Facebook news feed shows nary a mention of the event.
The only mention of it in my inbox comes from my daily Skimm subscription.
Now, don’t think this is a judgement. We are not horrible people because we’re starting to block mass shootings out.
We’re human.
The more times we’re exposed to an action or event, the less we feel from it. This reaction works incredibly well in the forming of habits and routines, but horribly in the cases of repeated tragedy.
Knowing that is our reaction, we can step into action and do something.
What can you do?
- Go visit Everytown.org/act and sign up for updates. They have a ton of suggestions on how to take further action. Go do that.
- Talk about it on your Facebook news feed. Share this post. Say how you are not an expert and speaking out for you about this is bound to be imperfect – don’t let that stop you from sharing your beliefs against it.
- Be prepared for a little backlash. People may try to call you out. Approach each criticism with curiosity. Ask them to explain their own beliefs about gun violence before defending your own. You may find common ground.
The more mass shootings occur, the less surprise we feel when it’s breaking news.
Let’s not let that happen.
JoAnn Crohn
CEO/Founder at No Guilt Mom
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Thanks for writing about this today, JoAnn. I was startled myself as I found myself scrolling past a headline about the Florida tragedy. I was saddened by my (and I assume many others’) desensitized reaction. We should all be affected by this.
Thank you for this post. I for one am shocked and heartbroken every time I hear about another shooting whether it be at a workplace, a business, etc. or especially at a school because I have kids and I don’t want to think of not seeing their sweet faces again. I do feel helpless and do not know what to do. I am in CT so know how I can be of help in FL… I remember the heartbreak and extreme sadness when the Newtown shooting happened and when all the shootings I can remember going back to Columbine. Every single time I think of all the ones I can recall and I am sad all over again..
I don’t have the answers but I do fear that if the deranged don’t have access to guns they would use bombs. It is the people with evil on their minds that are the problem – but what to do about that? How can they be found before they harm someone? Even better how can they be found before they cause harm and early enough so they can be helped and become a whole person again not hurting or full of anger or whatever has caused them to lash out so violently and with such finality? What causes someone to resort to deadly violence to get their message out or to make their point? Has anyone spoken to any of the surviving shooters (there’s so few of them, they usually are killed in the event) to try to find out why they couldn’t find another way to address the problems they were having? I can only think they are suicidal and want to go out in a blaze of fury or think that would be the sure way to die by causing so much of a problem that they die in the process.
My heart is breaking and I cry for every child that has died in a school shooting and for all the other people who have died in other mass shootings. I cry for all the parents who can no longer hold their babies (even if their babies are taller than they are and all grown up or nearly so).
I have two kids (5 and almost 2) but to think I can’t see them tonight and hear their voices and hug them I shudder and cry.
Delia Fey, CT
I want to be clear I am not in favor of easy access to guns. I think it needs to be controlled and monitored I just know that people cause violence with other things too. I work in local government where pistol permits are issued and I recently overheard a coworker complaining that it is so complicated to get the license that the government is trying to prevent people from getting one and i couldn’t believe what i was hearing. Of course it should be difficult because we don’t want someone in a fit of rage to go out and get a gun and then immediately go cause violence. I also don’t want someone to cause violence with a gun they have owned for years. I do want people to be trained and store their guns safely but be prepared in the event they have to defend themselves. I don’t currently own a gun and I would find it very hard to shoot one at any living thing or person unless my life or the life of my kids, family, friends or some other innocent person was at stake – I don’t know for sure how I would react because I have not been in that situation but I hope I would not freak out too much to act.
Delia
Thanks for speaking out Delia. I too have no idea how I would react. But I know that we have to do something differently.
Thank you for stating what many of us are experiencing. I no longer feel the intense sorrow and anger over school or even church shootings. Unfortunately we live in a society that likes to fix blame. We blame guns, we blame the NRA, and we blame TV.
I heard today the first real news on this tragedy and the shooter’s close friends said he talked about killing animals and posed with guns on social media. The first is a clear red flag and the second could be innocuous. “Officials” day there were no warning signs. What?!
Thank you, this is the first I’ve really processed this latest shooting, probably because I am becoming desensitized.
You’re right about our society being quick to blame. I think this problem is complicated and there is no one set cause.
When my husband told me another school shooting happened, (your right) I wasn’t really all that surprised. But it did surprised me when I went on Facebook I only seen one post about it. What’s more surprising is that there’s been a lot of school shoots just this year and I haven’t heard anything about most of them, of course I’m not always watching the news or looking at news feeds online.
I feel the same way Cassi. No one is talking about it. It’s becoming the new normal- which is scary.
I have two small children and I want them to be safe. We live in a reality where others make poor choices. If it were up to me, I’d ask veterans to guard our schools. They defend and protect overseas, they could do it here. Many would probably volunteer and they are already trained in firearms, combat situations, and it would be great PR for our armed forces.