Podcast Episode 284: How to Get The Happier, Calmer and Connected Family You Want With Emotional Intelligence Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Stephanie Pinto: Because emotions, if we think about even , just the word emotions, their energy in motion, like emotions, right? So it can drain your energy. When we get those spikes of emotion, when we get heightened, we get emotionally hijacked

JoAnn Crohn: welcome to the no guilt mom podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined here by the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker: Why, hello, hello everybody. How are you?

JoAnn Crohn: This is our second time recording this because we’re recording it in the evening and both Brie and I have realized that we are not as on top of things in the evening as we are in the morning.

Brie Tucker: Nope. Nope. Nope.

JoAnn Crohn: Body processes go down.

Brie Tucker: to make It further, you asked me if I wanted to go to hot yoga after this. I’m like, I don’t think

JoAnn Crohn: is not hot yoga. It is yin yoga. No, it’s like relaxing, wonderful, sleeping, napping yoga.

Brie Tucker: oh, oh, restorative yoga for some reason. I thought I read hot yoga on

JoAnn Crohn: No, I was like, you’re not into restorative yoga, but it’s your, your time for Miguel and you to hang

Brie Tucker: I am into restorative yoga. I am I am. But yeah, today I am. I have to like, I try not to fall asleep and restorative yoga. And I think I would today.

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, see, I’m all achy and stuff. And I’m like, I need some good stretches. And that’s what Yin Yoga gives me some really good stretches. , but the reason we’re doing this in the evening is because our guest is actually in Australia. And so like, we were like, what time is it there? And she’s like, it’s 1035. She’s, and she’s like, what time is it there? We’re like, it’s, uh, 5 44 PM the day before you. And she’s like, I’m in the future. I’m like,

Brie Tucker: I know, right? We time traveled in this episode.

JoAnn Crohn: traveled. Time traveled. So Stephanie Pinto is a multi award winning emotional intelligence coach and international speaker. She’s the author of the bestselling book from chaos to connection, founder of let’s raise emotionally intelligent kids and host of the emotionally intelligent parenting podcast.

She supports parents in learning how to manage their emotions, frustrations, and stress so that they are happier, calmer, and connect more deeply with their kids. Stephanie also helps parents to raise emotionally intelligent kids who are self aware and manage their emotions and behavior. She is passionate about building kids, confidence and resilience. And we hope that you enjoy our interview with Stephanie. 

So Stephanie, I am curious to hear how you first got into this, coaching and like teaching about emotionally intelligent parenting.

Stephanie Pinto: you know what, it is not a really interesting story. I was, so before I moved into emotional intelligence, I was a pediatric speech pathologist. And so I was used to working with kids and families, obviously on language and communication and things like that. And I just discovered emotional intelligence online.

Like, I think I came across it because someone I knew was posting about it. And I was like, what is this? Ooh, like emotions. So I don’t know, I just, the stuff kept popping up and, I was clicking on, you know, you read articles and watch YouTube videos and I was just captured. I was fascinated because I, I wasn’t raised with emotional intelligence and it seemed like this whole new buzzword and this new concept.

So yeah, I loved it and I realized pretty quickly I could weave it into my work, but also the families that I worked with, the parents were obviously struggling with their kids, big emotions. Because kids are balls of emotion and what comes with that challenging behaviors and they just had no idea , how to manage those and how to get their kids to cooperate and, not, you know, shove down their emotions and say, I don’t care.

Just get in the car. yeah, so I kind of, started using in my work and then thought, actually, I really love this. and to be honest, I was burning out as a speech pathologist. So yeah, I made the transition and started working with, uh, kids. Families and parents in particular, , moved away from working with kids, but working with the parents. Cause I found that that was a lot more powerful and empowering.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s so interesting. That was, that’s me too. I was an elementary school teacher, but before that I was in the entertainment industry in Los Angeles. So I’ve had a varied career, but elementary school teacher, I stayed home with my son and I founded what is now no guilt mom. And then, I was making courses for kids, but I realized when we were talking with parents, that.

That there could be a bigger impact if parents knew the same skills that I knew and use them with their kids. And it’s just gone from there. And it’s so like, I didn’t think working with parents would be this delightful. as a teacher, like we were kind of taught to be scared of the parents. Honestly, honestly, we were.

but working with parents has been the most amazing thing because you see like. The relationships with kids just grow from there. It’s incredible. Now you said like you weren’t raised that way. I, I was raised in like the grounding household and like my parents would get mad and everything. Like, what was your childhood? Like,

Stephanie Pinto: So my experience was definitely that traditional style of parenting. So kids are, generally, you know, loved, but kind of seen and not hurt. Like don’t talk back, don’t challenge the parent. Don’t ask silly questions. don’t be rude. Don’t be angry. Don’t be upset. You shouldn’t be upset about this. It’s not a big deal. It was an accident. You’re fine. So a lot of that kind of, I want to just say, mm, invalidating of emotions and how I felt. And my experience,

Brie Tucker: did you get the whole, I’ll give you something to cry about? That’s like the

JoAnn Crohn: give you something to cry about.

Brie Tucker: That’s like the Coke classic of eighties, seventies parenting. You want to cry? I’ll give you something to cry about.

Stephanie Pinto: yes. And like suck it up buttercup. And I mean, I didn’t, I, I didn’t hear that one specifically, but my parents are from the UK, so they were very, they came out here in the eighties and had us, me and my brother and sister, so they were very much, . Everything is sweeped under the rug. We don’t really talk about it.

Everything is fine. The next day we were back to normal. So I was learning that, oh, okay, well, I shouldn’t feel like that. That was bad. That was wrong. put it away and, and I need to be fine and okay and happy and polite and yada yada. So I actually, , learned how to be a very good girl and I

JoAnn Crohn: Stuff it down.

Stephanie Pinto: Oh, I stuffed it down. I was so good at stuffing and actually maybe not a fun fact. I was going to say fun fact. I was so good at shoving it down that as I got into my like my younger teens, being an older kid, younger teens, and all throughout my teenage years, and into my twenties, I started fainting for quote unquote, no reason when I was really anxious or nervous.

And so I, I went to doctors and, you know, specialists and things like that. And they were like, you are fit, you are healthy. Like I ate really well. I played a lot of basketball, the story goes on. And, I realized in the end, really myself, when I learned about emotional intelligence that I thought, Oh my God, it’s when I feel this certain level of heightened emotion that my body and my nervous system could not deal with that.

It was too scary. Too much had no coping strategies. Yeah. For when I was nervous or anxious or worried or whatever. And so my body took me out of the situation. Like that’s what fainting is. So in animals, it looks like playing dead when there’s a predator in humans, it looks like fainting or dissociating.

So anyway, I was the most emotionally unintelligent person. that I just had no idea about how to handle emotions. And when they got too much, I just avoided or, you know, shoved it down. And yeah, then I had kids. And so that was like, you know.

JoAnn Crohn: Okay. I’m curious. How did this fainting resolve

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Talk about body budget. Like right there, man.

Stephanie Pinto: Yes. Oh my God. So I love somewhere behind me will be, a couple of Mona Della Hook’s books. Um, I love all, all.

Brie Tucker: Mona.

Stephanie Pinto: Uh, so I, came to realize that it was a few things, obviously my, my emotional awareness, zero. my ability to cope with strong emotions, zero. So, one of the chapters in my book is like the emotionally unintelligent girl, cause that was me.

But also, I realized that my confidence and my self esteem and everything was really, really low. And so working, to be honest, just developing my own emotional intelligence was really the thing that now has Like I, a couple of months ago, I went, I flew down to Melbourne. So I’m in Sydney. I flew down to Melbourne on my own with no, like, I didn’t go with my husband.

I, you know, on my own, I worked out my Ubers. I got to the conference hall. I spoke at a conference in front of just over a thousand people, with the mic and mic’d up and with my slides up on the screen and, um, Not a shred of anxiety or worry or fear. Like I had no, no qualms about, like, I used to think, what if I faint?

What if I go up there and what if I talk and then I let everyone down and I can’t even get up there. Had none of that, like, honestly, about. Two, three, four, five years ago, I would not have even accepted. I wouldn’t have even put myself out there. Now I, now I do speak in front of a lot of people and it’s fine.

JoAnn Crohn: Well, I am so curious on how you started becoming a more emotionally intelligent person. And we’re going to get into that right after this. So we were talking about how you developed your own emotional intelligence. So that was how the fainting stopped. So how, like, what were the steps you went through to do that?

Stephanie Pinto: I needed to first not be so afraid of emotions and think that they’re bad and wrong and awkward and a sign of weakness. Like if we actually start there, then I got to learn, okay, well maybe they’re okay. And maybe I can just let myself feel them. um, and When I felt emotions coming up, if I was frustrated at my husband, if I was angry with my kids, if I was really upset or disappointed about something that had happened, I actually started to let myself like sit in that for a little bit rather than scroll on my phone or

JoAnn Crohn: all of this

Stephanie Pinto: turn on Netflix.

JoAnn Crohn: the attention, for sure.

Stephanie Pinto: Yeah. So I started to really, learn to accept and even honor those emotions because I thought, well, they’re going to come, you know, they’re going to happen because if we have emotions, they’re, you know, that’s as much a part of being human as having a brain or an elbow, like, you know, better get used to them.

So, I did that and I started to learn, obviously, the power behind emotions and that they are telling us a message and that I could kind of leverage them. I could listen to them and I could think, Oh, I should have said no to that. And I just said, yeah, of course I’ll do it. I’ll bake 12 cookies for the sale. I don’t have time for this.

JoAnn Crohn: ha!

Stephanie Pinto: So I started to, I really have had to work on my boundaries, which I sucked at, you know, for so long because I was a people pleaser. I know. How many of us?

JoAnn Crohn: both me and Bri, total people pleasers. Absolutely. And I love how you say like emotions were telling you something, because I think that’s something that I learned very recently. Like I was, I was today years old, kind of recently when I learned that, anger could be telling you something because anger was something that was seen as wrong as a girl. Like you weren’t supposed to

Brie Tucker: Yeah, we’re not supposed to get angry. we don’t look pretty when we’re angry.

JoAnn Crohn: Or you get the other stereotype where you’re called like a bitch because you’re angry when really it’s a very valid emotion. I mean, I used to work in, an agency in Hollywood and all of the male agents would like curse and scream all the time. They were never called that. they were seen as tough and like, you know, powerful and women who have that sort of anger.

Don’t. So I love how you said the, you had to realize the emotions were telling you something once you realized they were telling you something and you could use them. Like, how did you use them? You said boundaries already, but was there a different way you use them?

Stephanie Pinto: Yeah, so I realized that there were, , a lot of things that were in my control that I just wasn’t doing, like setting boundaries, like speaking up, I had to find my voice, I’m still finding my voice, like, I can talk in front of a lot of people, but oh my gosh, if I have to talk to my husband about a really difficult, tricky issue, I’m like,

Brie Tucker: something where you’re like, I’m really putting myself out on the line. And if you say no, I’ll be a little crushed. So I’m kind of nervous about saying it.

Stephanie Pinto: yeah. I had to get really, good at being vulnerable, especially to him. Like I can be super emotionally intelligent with my kids. Put me in front of my husband when, and we’ve known each other since we were 16 and I’m 37 now. So like, it’s been a while and, I’ve had to learn how to find my voice.

It sounds so silly. Like he’s a lovely guy, but like, I, I didn’t want to disappoint him. I could not cope with the emotional reaction of if we had a disagreement or an argument, or if I wanted to say, I don’t agree with that. Or, you know, that was just like, as you said, crushing. And so I had to learn how to find my feet and to find my self worth and to, to have boundaries to speak up when I disagreed or didn’t like something or wanted to do something different. So lots of things that I was like, I have to put my big girl pants on right now.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s hard. I mean, like, I could say I felt the same way talking to my husband and like, I’ve been with him for, gosh, over 20 years now. We got together when we were 19 and I’m like now 42, 42. And you kind of stopped counting

Stephanie Pinto: All the numbers.

JoAnn Crohn: but like, I learned throughout the years, and I wonder if you noticed this too about your husband, like my husband does not put the same emphasis on those conversations, like emotional emphasis that I do, whereas I’ll be really worked up and think it’s like such a big deal.

for instance, tonight I booked a yoga class tonight. and in the past I would have been like, Oh my gosh, like, I need to tell him that I booked this class. I need to talk to him first about booking the class. I need to make sure like, he’s okay that I go because like, he’s going to be home with the kids.

all of these things. And. I learned that it’s like, no big deal. So tonight when I booked the class, I just texted him. I’m like, booked a yoga class tonight, 7. 15. And he’s like, thumbs up. I’m like, cool. That’s so good. So like, do you see the same thing with your husband? Like, is one of you more emotionally attuned and one is not?

Stephanie Pinto: Okay. So I have a lot to say about this, but I’m going to summarize it. Initially, no, we were not on the same page at all. Like I said, I’m from, my family’s from the UK, so very polite and proper and conservative. His family is Portuguese. So

Brie Tucker: Oh,

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Stephanie Pinto: they were like,

Brie Tucker: we just lay it all out, man. We lay it all out.

JoAnn Crohn: Mm

Stephanie Pinto: was intense. And so, like, I remember when we were, Oh, it would’ve been, you know, late teens kind of thing, having one of our big arguments about, I don’t know, who knows what, and he was like, I’m gonna walk home.

I think we didn’t even have our license then. I don’t know. And I was like, I could not handle the sense that he was upset with me, angry with me. not happy, like things were bad. I would have just wanted the ground to swallow me up basically. So we, we were very different. as I said, now I’ve learned to find my voice and have boundaries and speak up and things like that, but it took me not, this is the thing I tell a lot of parents, do not like shove this in front of your partners or husbands or, you know, face, don’t say we need to be this.

You need to be more emotionally intelligent. You shouldn’t have yelled at the kids. That was too harsh. You’re going to scar them. We cannot do that because. What that does is like push them further away. And I’m going to say I have so been there. I remember a conversation years ago where my husband said something like, Steph, do you even need me here?

Cause you’ve got this, like, sounds like you’ve got this. And I was like, Oh crap. And I, I had to realize like, There’s my way. there’s a beautiful quote. There’s my way and there’s your way, but as for the one way or the right way, it does not exist. And I was trying to get him to do it my way. And, and so now I’ve learned, and this is what I talk about a lot, is that we have to honor that our partner was not raised to By the same parents we were, was not raised in the same household, in the same culture, in the same, you know, everything.

So of course they’re going to react or respond differently to us. Of course, they’re going to be on a different page. They’ve had millions of little micro moments of, learnings that have created their beliefs about how we deal with emotions, what they are, if they’re good or bad, if we talk about them or not.

So it’s been a journey, but, he’s actually, Like we’ve, I’ve been doing this since 2019, like full time and really I can say we’re, virtually on the same page with our goals, our understanding, our ideas, but sometimes we go about it in a different way. And I do go, Ooh, I wouldn’t have said it like that way, but I’m like, hands off. Like I can talk to you about it later if I really want to, but otherwise, you know, I’ve got to let you parent, like you’re half of us. You know what I

Brie Tucker: I think that’s a big thing right there. Like, if it’s really bugging you two hours later, then you can bring it up. But a lot of times, like, or, do either of you guys, , have that, like, hi fi? And JoAnn already knows this, I’m a pretty, like, bam, big emotion. So, like, I’ll get really emotional about it, in the moment, but then an hour or two later, I’ll be like, What? What did we talk about?

JoAnn Crohn: That’s like my husband, Bri. It’s like, Josh, he’ll be like, he once told me something that I said that really hurt his feelings. And I was crushed when he told me about it. I can’t even remember what it was now, but I remember just feeling crushed. I was like at tears. I’m like, I’m so sorry.

I did not mean it that way. And I brought it up maybe a month later. And I’m like, I’m really thankful that you like told me that because I need to know that for the future. And he’s like, I don’t even remember that conversation.

Brie Tucker: Yeah, right. Like what? And in the meantime, you’ve been like getting a stomach ache for a month about it. Like, it’s just,

JoAnn Crohn: It’s so funny. It’s so funny, but I love how like you stated like we both have different ways and we both parent like in partnerships you parent differently and that’s totally okay. The hard thing is, and I don’t know if you’ve run into this yet Stephanie with your kids, but when kids get older and they start telling you, like, I mean, I’m the more emotionally intelligent parent in our partnership, and so I’m very aware of my kids feelings and like what they need and my husband sometimes is not, and my kids will come to me and be like, dad said this to me or dad did this to me and it’s so hard to walk that line.

I, I’ll tell you what I tell them and I wanna hear what you tell your kids, Stephanie, and we’re gonna do that right after this. Before the break, we were talking about what to say to kids when they approach you, uh, about your parenting style being different than your partner’s and it’s like critical. It’s like they’re being critical of it. No. Yeah. Like you’ve seen it. Right, Brie?

Brie Tucker: Yeah, it puts you in that spot where you’re like, Oh yeah, right. So you guys were, it was funny. I was going to interject the whole, like how long you guys have known your partners. My husband and I have been married for three years now, so he’s my second husband. We’ve known each other longer than that, but it gets, it gets complicated.

But the point is, is that there’s plenty of times where you’re stuck in the middle going like, Oh crap. I feel like if I don’t. do I say this? If I’m not on my kid’s side, then they feel like I’m leaving them out and vulnerable. But then if I go over to my, husband and I’m critical about how he handled it, then I’m not honoring his way of doing it.

And then I’m also the naggy person that’s coming in saying like, yeah, shouldn’t have done it that way. Like, I’ll run through all those scenarios. it’s like that scene from the matrix with all the screens of all the possible things that could happen. I go through all of it. Yeah. In like five seconds, and I decide that I’m screwed no matter which way I go, so then I faint. No, I’m

JoAnn Crohn: And if they’re not, it’s not fair.

Stephanie Pinto: I see what you did there.

JoAnn Crohn: What do you do, Stephanie, in that situation?

Stephanie Pinto: Yeah, it is hard. And my, the thing that I try to remember is to be impartial, and to honor my kids emotions and their experience. So their perception, this is something I say a lot, their perception, someone else’s, Emotions or experience is just as true for them as minor for me.

So I cannot argue with my kids saying, dad was mean. He said, I can’t. Play on the computer, you know, like I have to honor that that’s real for them. So I validate that and I empathize with that. I’m like, you know what, that must be so hard to feel like you can’t and that dad’s being really mean. Like I’m, I can do that and yet remain impartial and not step over that line and be like, you know what, he’s been really mean. I’m going to go talk to him because that’s out of line. Dad should not have said that.

Brie Tucker: Right? Yeah.

Stephanie Pinto: and then I say, but you know what? I wonder if dad made that comment because, or I’ve, you know, we have noticed that , you were on it for a few hours today or, you know, so I’m trying to, as you said, Bri, like it’s a, uh, you’re like walking that tightrope line to not just, because sometimes you’ll be like, yeah, that was really mean. Oh my

Brie Tucker: Right in your head, you’re just like, Ugh.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s like somebody’s on his period. No, it’s not. It’s

Brie Tucker: It’s that time of the month for

JoAnn Crohn: the time of the month for dad.

Stephanie Pinto: So yes, it is difficult and I think, did you say Brie, like, Oh, either way, we’re kind of screwed. Like there is an element of, there’s an element of, you know what? We’re not going to be able to raise our kids perfectly emotionally intelligently. We’re not going to not flip our lid, ever, you know, we’re humans and we’re going to be, imperfect.

We’re going to raise our voice. We’re going to get triggered and things like that. And I actually think that’s, as long as we’re not doing that 24, seven and scarring our kids, we can show and model to our kids. You know what? I am not perfect. And I, flip my lid and I lose my cool. And I said something yesterday at lunch and I didn’t want to, you know, let’s redo that.

I’m sorry, honey. Like we can show them, yeah, you’re going to stuff up. No, you don’t have to beat yourselves up. And there is, it’s never too late to repair and do like a redo and say, you know what, but can we do that again? I didn’t, I didn’t mean to yell. So I think that takes the pressure off kids too, so that when they feel mess up or they blow up or erupt, then they’re not going to beat themselves up

JoAnn Crohn: exactly. I, I pushed dad into the fire. Like I, in a good way, in a really good way, I, cause it’s worked, it’s worked. So I, I do what you do, Stephanie. I empathize. I say everything and I’m like, have you talked to dad about this? That you’re feeling this way. And a lot of times they have not, they’re scared to bring it up and everything.

And I’m like, okay, well, that’s okay. you know, if you’re not comfortable with it, that’s okay. And then I go talk to my husband, but I don’t criticize him in any way. I’m just like, Hey, like, So and so’s upset here. You may just want to go check in and see what’s going on. And then they get their relationship and they get to repair that, based on, you know, he sometimes needs to be cued that people are upset. He’s very stoic. It’s like the engineer mindset. And so, I found that helps in our house.

Stephanie Pinto: Awesome. I like that. I think it’s good to model that to the kids. It’s good to give the kids the kind of plant those seeds. Have you talked to dad or do you want to say this? Or what would you say? Or, you know, do you want me to come with you? Sometimes I’ve gone with my kids because they are upset.

Dad’s been mean. and I go and talk to them and I say, come on, I’ll come with you. Like to expect a five or a 10 year old, like a very, physically smaller person, mentally, like cognitively, they’re not as developed. Like there’s all these things against the kids. I’m like, yes, I will come with you until you’re at the point where you’re like, okay, we’ve done it that many times. And most of the time dad listens and, and it goes, okay, I can do it on my own.

JoAnn Crohn: it’s a hard thing to wrap your brain around though, because they’re so comfortable telling you everything that you’ve done wrong to hurt them and upset them, everything. And they will not tell their dad

Brie Tucker: Well, they, there’s just come, like, it’s the thing about how kids have that emotionally safe person in their life. Normally it’s a parent and normally it’s edible, but that’s the one that we see the whole gamut of emotions with. Cause they’re like, dude, I could completely melt down and act like a fool. And this person, AKA mom, a lot of the times will still love me.

We’ll still be there. We’ll not like say negative things, but it does take a toll on us because, because of that, we hear it all. We hear it all like we were talking about how, we have teens and I went through like a really tough phase with my daughter probably about a year and a half, two years ago, where I just felt like every day she was pushing that boundary up.

You said you’d love me no matter what. You said you’d love me no matter what. So we’re just going to push and push and, say mean things and do mean things and see if you’re still going to be here when I’m done. And

JoAnn Crohn: It’s

Brie Tucker: it’s exhausting.

JoAnn Crohn: it is exhausting.

Stephanie Pinto: takes it. I think, you know what, when we feel like, whoa, like this is a lot for us to handle. Number one, , Kristen Neff’s work around self

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, love her. We’ve had her on the podcast. Yes, we have. She was amazing.

Brie Tucker: Agree. Yeah. She is great. Like fierce. Was it like fiercely? Love yourself fiercely or?

JoAnn Crohn: yeah, now I can’t remember the name of the book. Fierce, fierce, self compassion. And it was a followup to self compassion. Yeah. It’s actually built into our program and to balance about the acknowledge you’re in pain and then have the common humanity and then give yourself that comfort as well.

Brie Tucker: Kristin Neff, that compassion work. It’s amazing.

JoAnn Crohn: It’s amazing.

Stephanie Pinto: Yep, that one piece you said, JoAnn, the common humanity, that’s what gets me through, like, conversations like this, us three have had the same kind of experiences and have different kids, different ages, we’re on different sides of the world and, oh my God, you guys get this too. You go through it too. It’s not just me. Like that sense is just like, Oh, I’m not, I’m not doing it all wrong.

Brie Tucker: That’s so

JoAnn Crohn: We’re all getting it and those emotions they wear you down too Like sometimes i’ll be like, you know what I haven’t had to do much physical stuff today But all the emotions have been totally pushed upon me that you just feel at the end of the day You’re like and i’m done and I need to retreat else i’m gonna blow up

Stephanie Pinto: You know why? Because emotions, if we think about even , just the word emotions, their energy in motion, like emotions, right? So it can drain your energy. When we get those spikes of emotion, when we get heightened, we get emotionally

hijacked, so to speak, angry, frustrated, or, grief or, you know, disappointment, what happens usually is we have a flood, like every cell in our body is flooded with like cortisol, adrenaline, like we have this Full physiological reaction.

So yeah, we could have done like nothing physical. And yet we’ve had this big thing happen. Like grandma’s in hospital or I’ve just been fired. Or my husband has said, we need to talk. And you know, like

JoAnn Crohn: No.

Stephanie Pinto: those things, Oh, they’re emotionally draining. So this is why when we dial up our emotional intelligence and we honor our emotions and we actually take steps to help ourselves regulate rather than just pushing on.

Well, I’ll get to that later. Okay. I’m going to scroll on my phone. that’s just like, kind of, you know, trying to like, fix the surface level. Like, you know, it’s not going, okay, I think I need to clear the next hour or my afternoon. Cause I need, I need to deal with this. Like emotionally, I need to, I don’t have the brain space.

If I just push through, I’m going to blow up at the next person that calls me, you know, so it’s, I see emotional intelligence as being smart with your emotions, when a lot of us are not. and we were not raised that way. So it, it takes

JoAnn Crohn: It does take learning and it takes a lot of self compassion throughout the whole process, because learning to regulate your emotions is a very complex thing with a lot of different like roots and sources and things that you dig up along the way of about why you act the way you do it’s intense. I love it.

Stephanie Pinto: lot of, a lot of psychology behind it, which I kind of love. I’m a bit nerdy like that. But yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: as well. I’m right there with you. Stephanie, what are you looking forward to right now?

Stephanie Pinto: Oh, you know what? This week has been a really busy week, so I’m looking forward to the weekend where I have a friend’s birthday celebration. so that’s a small thing, but I think I’m looking forward to, I’ve got a few things coming up where I’m getting to speak about this exact stuff. face to face, like I do a lot of stuff online, but face to face, speaking to people about this.

And I just think, Oh my God, like you never quite know whose lives you’re going to change with a conversation. Like even this one, someone might hear it and go, Oh my God, that makes so much sense. Thank God. And so that’s really exciting.

JoAnn Crohn: exciting. Well, it’s been a wonderful talking with you and chatting with you. And this has just been simply delightful. And thank you so much for coming on

Stephanie Pinto: Thank you guys. I’ve absolutely loved

JoAnn Crohn: we will, we’ll talk to you soon. So, um, I’m trying to figure out, a gift for my husband and, right now as we’re recording this Brie, Father’s Day is coming up, but I don’t want to lapse on Father’s Day. And so as I was scrolling Instagram, there was like this ad for make me royal. And I was like, I’m going to make him a like, King of the Vikings. And it was basically putting his face, you send in a picture. So putting his face on this Viking dude with like fur pelts hanging over him and like standing them,

Brie Tucker: Okay, that’s hilarious because I know your husband and seeing his face like a viking sounds hilarious.

JoAnn Crohn: he is so into the Vikings. Like he’s part Norwegian. And so Vikings are that. But then, then I found that I could make a family photo look like the Simpsons. And he’s like very into the Simpsons. And so I’m like, I think I’m going to do that. And I sent it to my daughter and she’s sends me these crying, bawling faces and she’s like, sure. I’m like, are those sad cries? She’s like, no, that emoji means like, what? It’s a confused thing. And I’m like,

Brie Tucker: know what kids these days they have taken over our emojis and I’m not a happy camper I am not happy because you know what it was our generation that made those damn emojis like you can’t take something I made and then change it. It doesn’t work that way now great I know I didn’t like Brie didn’t literally make the emojis But it was our generation and I don’t like the fact that they’re changing stuff up on us You also can’t tell me that the way I text is wrong because we started texting I had a pager.

JoAnn Crohn: They’re, they’re texting in all capital letters, and I’m like, why are you yelling at them? And they’re like, this isn’t yelling. This is just how you text. I’m

Brie Tucker: Yeah, but

JoAnn Crohn: how do you text? How do

Brie Tucker: you put a period on your text, and all of a sudden they come back to you and say, why are you yelling? And you’re like, what?

JoAnn Crohn: What?

Brie Tucker: How, how is grammar yelling?

JoAnn Crohn: You know, grammar’s considered yelling. I think it’s like how our parents like write full on letters to us in text, and they’re like, hi JoAnn, comma. And then it’s like paragraphs and paragraphs. I think that may be what we’re doing to our kids,

Brie Tucker: Okay, but, but I still, I will die on this Hill, man, that we, our generation created this and that they, they need to bow a little.

JoAnn Crohn: They need to bow a little.

Brie Tucker: they need, they need to back off a little bit and not be changing up all the stuff that we created. Sorry. Like. An eggplant is an eggplant is an eggplant.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Brie Tucker: crying face is a crying face. It doesn’t mean something different. If you want the surprise face, it’s the, Oh, face. I mean, I know people can’t see me on podcasts, but know you know what face I’m making.

JoAnn Crohn: An eggplant? You know what an eggplant is. It’s not an

Brie Tucker: it is. Yes. I

JoAnn Crohn: Okay.

Brie Tucker: eggplant is, but I do believe I read recently that an eggplant doesn’t necessarily mean an eggplant anymore. So I’m pretty sure I read that, but I’ll have to look it up. Like I’ll have to fact check in

JoAnn Crohn: That it doesn’t mean, okay, well we could use factually correct terms. I mean, that an eggplant doesn’t mean a penis anymore. Is that what

Brie Tucker: Okay, there you go.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes. Like, I don’t know, like, I haven’t heard that one. I’ve been told though that my definition of preppy is wrong. Have you been told that? Oh yeah, I’m like, well preppy is somebody who’s like, you know, goes to a prep school and wears plaid uniforms and. no mom, that’s not what preppy means and honestly, like I didn’t even listen to what preppy means I stopped listening when she said no mom. That’s not what preppy means cuz we started preppy

Brie Tucker: Yes! Exactly! That is us. So whatever. Whatever.

JoAnn Crohn: whatever whatever a loser Yeah,

Brie Tucker: no, no, no, that’s back to our childhood. So I loved chatting with Stephanie and I think we found our bestie in Australia. I think that like, if you’re over near her at all on your vacation, like, which by the time this airs, you will have just gotten back from out there. Cause you’re not going to Australia necessarily. Going to New Zealand,

JoAnn Crohn: New Zealand, yeah, but stopping in Australia for two days. Yeah, it’s, it’s a four hour flight, four hour flight from Sydney to Wellington. No, we’re not leaving Wellington. I always forget what, Christown, I think it’s

Brie Tucker: it really?

JoAnn Crohn: it’s four hours. and like, Australia is huge, huge. So like, I was surprised that New Zealand and Australia were that far away, but yeah, they’re that far away. And I was,, looking, she lives on the outskirts of Sydney and we’re going to be pretty much in the middle of Sydney.

Brie Tucker: Ah,

JoAnn Crohn: so

Brie Tucker: well, I still think Stephanie, Stephanie is our new Australian bestie.

JoAnn Crohn: She was delightful to talk to you. I, I And, just totally on the same page with so many things and her summit’s coming up and, we have a link for you in the show notes to go and get your free ticket to that

Brie Tucker: Yep, to her online summit. So if you’re listening to this and you’re like, but I’m in the U. S. or Canada, you can still go, people. It is online and it’s fantabulous. And there won’t be any fainting goats. No fainting goats at that conference. You’re like, Brie, let the fainting goats go.

JoAnn Crohn: And until next time, remember the best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. I’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.