How to Reduce Screen Time for Kids (Without the Power Struggles)
As parents, we all want to ensure our kids have a healthy balance between screen time and other activities. But when it feels like screens are taking over, the usual methods of limiting screen time—like taking devices away—often lead to power struggles and frustration. So how do you reduce screen time for kids in a way that actually works?
The answer might surprise you: It starts with a conversation.
In this post, I’ll walk you through an easy, stress-free method to reduce screen time that puts you and your child on the same team. Plus, I’ll share how to make these conversations feel natural—even if you’re not sure what to say.
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Why Traditional Screen Time Limits Don’t Work
If you’ve tried setting strict screen time limits or taking devices away, you’ve probably noticed that these approaches create tension.
- You become the enforcer. Suddenly, it’s up to you to police screen time, which adds another task to your already overflowing plate.
- It pits you against your child. Instead of working together, you’re stuck in a cycle of “Mom says no” and “Can I please have my screen back?”
This approach often fails because it focuses on controlling behavior rather than understanding it.
The Secret to Reducing Screen Time: Motivational Interviewing
Instead of enforcing rules, try having a conversation using a technique called motivational interviewing. This method helps your child reflect on their screen use and make the decision to cut back themselves.
Here’s how it works:
- Pick the Right Time. Avoid bringing this up during a conflict. Choose a calm moment when you’re both relaxed—maybe over a snack in the kitchen.
- Stay Curious. Start the conversation with genuine curiosity. Ask your child what they enjoy about their screens and listen without judgment.
- Explore Drawbacks. As the conversation progresses, gently ask if there’s anything they don’t like about their screen time. This could be how it affects their mood, friendships, or other activities they used to love.
Once your child identifies a drawback, you have your “in.” Use this as the starting point to brainstorm ways to spend less time on screens together.
A Real-Life Example
Here’s how this conversation might look:
You: “Hey, I noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time on your phone lately. What’s up?”
Your Child: “Nothing’s up. I’m just watching stuff.”
You: “Oh, okay. What kind of stuff do you like watching?”
Your Child: “Get Ready With Me videos. They’re fun, but some of the girls are kind of mean.”
You: “Oh, the girls are mean? Tell me more about that.”
This simple exchange helps your child reflect on their screen time in a non-confrontational way. It also shows them you’re interested in their world, which builds trust and connection.
Stuck on What to Say?
Conversations like these can feel tricky to navigate, especially if your child isn’t very talkative. That’s why I’ve created a free resource: Five Power Questions to help you start productive, meaningful conversations with your kids.
⭐ Click here to DM me the word “QUESTIONS” on Instagram: instagram.com/noguiltmom
These questions are designed to uncover your child’s thoughts and feelings without making them defensive—so you can tackle screen time (and other challenges) together.
JoAnn Crohn
CEO/Founder at No Guilt Mom
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