5 Fearless Steps To Make Friends at Holiday Parties

You got invited to a holiday party where you don’t know a soul.  You:

a) politely decline the invitation

b) accept, but then fake a stomach flu the day of the party, or

c) accept and go.

(Pssst… choose C, choose C)

C! Yes, go you!  You are going to have a marvelous time!

What?  You feel a little like puking at the thought of going by yourself?  Not to fear!  I’m going to make sure you’re ready.  Don’t let your confidence killers  overwhelm you.  Choose your best holiday party outfit and head out the door.

As soon as you get to the party,

Grab a drink

Maybe it’s wine, maybe it’s soda – whatever the drink, just put something in your hand.  Not only will it give you a mission as soon as walk through the door, but it also gives you something to do with your hands.

Have you ever felt so awkward that you forgot how to gesture like a normal person?  Your stomach churns, you start to perspire… “My god! What do I do with my hands?!?”

A drink solves this problem.  Plus, you automatically break the ice when you ask someone where to find a drink.

Find Someone Alone

Groups are good, but let’s work our way up.  If you came to this party alone, odds are that someone else came alone, too.  That person may be feeling just as nervous as you feel. (pshaw… you don’t feel insecure because you have a mission!)

Find that person.

Usually, they are standing somewhere – most possibly in a corner looking at their phone.  Phones seem to be the ultimate saving grace.  They make you look busy and important when really you’re just too scared to start a conversation.

The phone is a crutch!  Don’t use your phone!

Instead, find that person with the phone.  They need a friend, too.

Compliment

Use your best confidence hacks and introduce yourself.

One of the easiest ways to start is a simple and genuine compliment.  It can be something as simple as, “I love your necklace” or possibly, “I like your shoes.”  Whatever it is, make sure you mean it.

After your compliment, the other person will usually say, “Thank you” and then introduce herself.  If no introduction comes and a simple Thanks is all they reply, move along.  No sense starting a conversation with that person.  Just remember it’s not personal.

Find someone else and compliment away.

Find a shared experience

If they do introduce themselves, tell them your name and then work the conversation to find something you have in common.  You want something you can both talk passionately about.

I usually ask people if they have kids.  My kids tend to rule my life and this seems to be the case with other moms I meet.  Once you find another person with kids, you can talk for hours discussing anything from crazy things your kids do, common problems (like potty training or moody tweens) or how you can’t find a free second of peace.

Other great questions to find a shared experience are:

What do you do?

Have you seen any movies lately?

Do you watch Netflix?

How do you know the host?

You might find that more people start to join you and you are set for the rest of the party.  If not,

Retreat

Remember that if you don’t become instant besties, you are not tied to this person for the entire night.  It’s ok to retreat gracefully.

Which brings us back to that drink.  Excuse yourself to get a refill and tell the person, “It was very nice to meet you!”

Go get that drink.  Then, get right back out there and find someone else.

You now know what to do with your awkward hands, how to introduce yourself to a stranger and continue a conversation.  You are set for this party.

Happy you chose C, right?

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