Own Your Worth with Whitney Casares, MD Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn: Welcome to the no guilt mom podcast. I’m your host JoAnn Crohn joined here by the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker: Why, hello, hello, everybody. How are you?

JoAnn Crohn: Our episode today is about not doing it all, which I think a lot of us have trouble with, like at least in our balance community and the comments that I’ve seen on Instagram, on our posts that No Guilt Mom, it is. women who are struggling with trying to manage doing it all, but also believing that there’s no one else to help them.

Brie Tucker: I would say I have been hard pressed to not run into somebody that struggles with this. you talk to your friends, you talk to your coworkers, this is something that I feel like as women, especially as moms. We have this insane amount of pressure that is put on us and we’re constantly trying to fight it And I feel like this episode has got a lot of solid tips to help you dig yourself out of that hole and start fighting all of that pressure that you have to do everything perfectly all the time

JoAnn Crohn: Yes, I absolutely loved it. And we are talking with Whitney Casares, MD, who’s the founder of Modern Mommy Doc, hosted the Modern Mommy Doc podcast and the author of the soon to be released book, Doing It All, Stop Overfunctioning and Become the Mom and Person You’re Meant to Be. She helps moms stop overfunctioning and live more aligned, fulfilling lives. She’s also the proud mom of a seven and a 10 year old. And we hope you enjoy the show. I Whitney, to the podcast. You are a old friend of No Guilt Moms since you’ve been in our summits, but this is your first episode with us. So welcome, welcome.

Whitney Casares: I’m excited to be here with you ladies. I love the work that you do and I hope this will be really helpful.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, so we started reading your book, which, is released in January, which hopefully is right when this is airing. And I loved how you just, you started the book, because you went right in with a story about how you We’re being judged as a parent. And I think that so many people can relate to that. Can you share that story with us, with you and the OT and your daughter?

Whitney Casares: Okay, so you need to know my daughter has autism, lots of different ways to describe it. 20 years ago would have been called Asperger’s. Okay, that’s the best way to describe it in BPC. she goes to school, she talks, all that. But for a while we were going to occupational therapy to try to help her with some dysregulation issues. She likes to suck on her fingers, that type of thing.

Brie Tucker: Uh, Okay.

Whitney Casares: We go and I would put myself in this room and at this place two times a week. I would have a separate little room that you sit in and you could see the O. T. and your child in the other room. It’s like a one way mirror. And they would be doing their thing and I would be doing work in there.

And it was like my only moment in the whole week that I had to myself to do stuff without children bothering me. Yeah. And, or my work or phone calls or whatever was like my Zen space actually. And my child comes in with the OT and the OT goes, your daughter has something really important that she wants to tell you.

And I go, oh, okay. You know, I’m not, I’m all ears. I feel like I’m a very attentive parent. And the OT goes, go ahead, McKenna. She’s holding her shoulder and whatnot. And my daughter goes, I just feel like you just don’t love me and you just don’t spend time with me and that your work is always just like more important than me.

Brie Tucker: What?

Whitney Casares: yes, like every working mom’s worst nightmare is that her child. Says this to her,

Brie Tucker: my

Whitney Casares: a working mom, like I was doing modern mommy dog, my platform, my blogs, my books at the time, the whole thing is about being a working mom and doing it successfully and taking care of your kids.

I’m a pediatrician, my training. So all of this, I’m like, Okay, so I feel terrible. I’m like about to cry. I’m holding back tears and also in my head, thank goodness I had done enough work on myself and with therapists and in figuring out a framework that works for me when those attacks come at you because they do for every single mom to like look directly at the OT and say, Okay.

Okay. I’ll call you later about this and to look at my child and be like, okay, McKenna, I hear what you’re saying. And also let’s go. And we’ll just chat about this separately.

Brie Tucker: Yeah, because, this is not where I want to be having this conversation with an audience. Yeah.

Whitney Casares: No. Also, I think the OT was trying to be bless her little heart. I think she was trying to be supportive of my child. And I get that. I want people that want to advocate for my child and for their emotions, but she didn’t know me from Adam. This was like session two. She didn’t know anything about me.

So we go outside I don’t, I’m can you explain a little bit more about what’s going on? I want to make sure that I listen to you and your emotions and she goes, Oh mom, I watched a show the other day and there’s a mom that like goes off to sea or goes across the country or something like that and like it made me think of that, like she asked me something about it.

So she went, so I don’t really feel that way. I just, you know, I was just mimicking, which happens a lot actually. I mean, if you have a kid who’s neurodivergent, they kind of like absorb, but then they take it in and then all the emotions. And I was like, Oh my gosh. if I had not been better prepared, if I had not known myself well enough to be able to stand in that moment and be like reality check, accurate?

Is it not accurate? Am I a terrible mom? Am I not a terrible mom? Is my kid really feeling neglected? Is this person trying to advocate correct? I would have crumbled under the weight of that. And, it just wasn’t fair from the OTE. My child, it wasn’t fair from her, but she didn’t know it. And our kids do that all the time to us. They push our buttons, they tricker us, and let the mom go without it being their fault.

JoAnn Crohn: They really do. They trigger all the things. And I love what you’re saying about how you had to do the work because that really is the most important thing. what I have noticed as my kids have gotten older, especially teenagers, like little kids push the buttons. Oh my gosh. Teenagers bring up all your old insecurities and everything that you went through in middle school and everything that you feel. the littlest bit sensitive about they can dig it out and then just whack you in the face with it because 

Brie Tucker: it out, they clean it off, they shine it up, and then they just stick it in front of you. Here,

JoAnn Crohn: it is so hard 

Brie Tucker: let me clean this really embarrassing moment and insecurity you have.

JoAnn Crohn: I did security. 

Brie Tucker: is that good? Can you see it? Can you see it? 

JoAnn Crohn: happens. It’s what happens. And we can’t control that, nor can we control anyone else around us, but we can control the work we have on ourselves and also knowing exactly what’s going on when that occurs. and so this ties in really well, I think with the chapter in your book that talks about.

your parenting partner. Because I feel like this is the thing that a lot of the moms that we work with in balance, they have this similar struggle. Oh, my partner doesn’t help out. Oh, they don’t care about all the work I do. And it’s really disheartening to hear that because first of all, when you put it that way, it’s something that you can’t control at all. And I’m the type of person who’s like, I want to know what control I have in the situation so I can do something about it versus feeling like I’m just like out of control.

Brie Tucker: Well, feeling like sabotaged, having it dropped on you and you can’t. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: having a dropped, because as you say, like so many women try to do it all. And that’s what you see in your practice too when you see parents.

Whitney Casares: yes, and that is the whole premise of the book because there’s so much stuff that’s out there in the world about creating systemic change to support women, to support moms, to change things. And I am all for that, but I guess I just felt like I needed a reality check and that moms need a reality check to be like, okay, yes, but hand up.

I live in a house where things aren’t that way. I know it should be different, but my partner, even though he thinks he’s doing a really good job, most of the time, is not stepping up to the plate in the way that I actually need him to. And what am I gonna do about it in my own house? Like, how am I gonna make sure I still take care of myself?

How am I gonna make sure I don’t Still feel miserable. And so yes, in the book, I go through these five steps that I teach people and you know, they have names to them, but really the names are less important or just to make it catchy, you know, for like editing purposes. It’s more about the concepts. 

JoAnn Crohn: One of the sentences Whitney that really stuck out on me is, People, women in particular are always pleasing others, but never feeling satisfied themselves. And that hit me so hard because I have seen that in so many women. I’ve seen that in myself when I’m trying to make everybody else happy and I haven’t checked in to see what’s making me happy.

I’ve seen it in my mom currently, and I mean, she’s a grandma now. And I think this is just so universal. in women now, and I love the steps that you have, and we’re going to get into them right after this break. Okay, Whitney, you have these steps to take us through. If we are not currently living in a household where our partner is contributing in the way we need them to contribute, what is the first step?

Whitney Casares: Yes, step one is own your worth and reckon with your reality, which means. You’re You decide that you’re going to stop self sabotaging yourself because here’s what happens when you don’t understand, no claim that you deserve the same level of rest, of purpose, of intentionality in your life, of free time, of leisure time, of all the things you end up doing it all, then you end up feeling resentful, then you end up letting it all go in some way, shape, or form.

You lose it on your kids. You lose it on your partner. You have a, you know, mental health breakdown where you were depressed or you’re super anxious, or you just throw it all to the wind. You do coping strategies that aren’t healthy for you, and then you feel terrible and then you do it all again.

So step one is deciding that it’s worth it to have a conversation with your partner, that if you don’t have the conversation, it’s going to be worse, actually, for your relationship, for you, for your kids, for everybody else in your household. The other part of that, the reckon with your reality part, It’s about getting clear on we would all love to live in a utopia where our partners do everything 50 50 for us, or even they surprise us by doing all of it, one day, but the reality is it doesn’t happen.

And I think being the mom of an autistic kid really taught me a lot about that because. I live in a reality that sometimes I want to change, I love her, she’s amazing, and also, it’s difficult, it’s challenging, and so, I’ve had to lean into that radical acceptance. that is step one.

JoAnn Crohn: something that you said in there is you realize that you are worthy of the rest and the relaxation. That’s something that I completely struggle with and still struggle with today don’t feel like we’re worthy. Uh 

Whitney Casares: Yeah, I do too, and I think that’s the thing, is like, this isn’t, you decide it and then it’s done, and then all of a sudden you’re fixed. It’s not like a Cinderella moment where you’re like, sweet, now I look amazing. This is a constant journey. This is a constant reminding yourself. It’s a constant deprogramming because as women, we’re taught from such an early age.

That are worth comes from pleasing other people from appearing in a certain way from helping and so it’s a lot about giving yourself some compassion around that training that you had and then reminding yourself over and over and over again that it will be better for yourself and for everybody else if you don’t operate in that way.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. it’s so hard though. Like I’ve actually asked for help from my husband. in it because I’m like, listen, I know it seems completely ridiculous that I ask you when I am relaxing on the couch and you’re working in the kitchen, if it’s okay that I relax, but this is something that I am trying to reprogram in myself.

So if you could just like, Support me and just say, yep, totally fine, or you could even roll your eyes and be like, I have no idea why you’re asking me that. Of course, it’s fine. that helps as well, but just know that this is the reason why I’m doing this thing repeatedly and asking you this. What you see is a nonsensical question is because the reprogramming is real. 

Brie Tucker: mean, it’s real on, it’s real on both ends though, right? Because like you were just saying, like we’re programmed. Often as women to be people pleaser since our job. I mean, I 100 percent I didn’t that’s my role in my family I had an issue happen this weekend Why I upset my family and I am like still devastated from it Because my role in my family is i’m the one supposed to make everybody happy But that’s a whole nother podcast episode with the therapist. So

JoAnn Crohn: Yes.

Brie Tucker: To this, I feel like also with that on the flip side, a lot of our boys, our males are like, it’s specially right, the older generation are programmed that it is our job to make everybody happy. It is our job to do everything. So they don’t even see the worth and they’re, and it’s not even in a, vindictive way, right? we’re trying to reprogram both in a lot of cases with that. 

JoAnn Crohn: It’s like

Brie Tucker: that’s where it Right, it feels so overwhelming when you think about it. crap, I gotta take on my own inner demons and their, you know, wrong thought process too? I

Whitney Casares: Yeah. I found that humor is the best way in my family to deal with that when it comes to my partner. So the other day we woke up, it was a Saturday morning and I had a rare moment where I wanted to cook and I never want to cook. And so I go, I, you know what, I was thinking about making a recipe from a cookbook, go to half baked harvest and just grab a good recipe and make the whole thing like a stew, you know, and my husband’s eyes lit up.

And he’s Oh my God, it’s too amazing. So I go to the store and I come back and he goes, I just love it when you cook in the kitchen. And he didn’t realize, like, how totally 1950s that he sounded. And I go, I know, don’t you love it when I just, am full on Melody Cazares? I’m full on just your mom.

I just do everything the same way that your mom did. And he, looks at me like, ugh, you know? but we laughed because I think it brings it back to Oh, the reason he finds that comforting. The reason he wants me to do that. The reason he wants me to take care of him in that way. It’s not his fault. It’s just. That’s how his parents did it. So that’s what’s normal too. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: role and making sure that you’re confident in that. It reminds me of something like, if you don’t know who you are as a person, other people are going to shape you all around you. they’re going to decide who you are and you’re going to try to fit in their mold and then be ultimately unhappy.

Brie Tucker: Okay, you just totally described the entire plot for runaway bride.

JoAnn Crohn: Really? Really?

Brie Tucker: We Yes, I don’t know 

JoAnn Crohn: I don’t remember that 

Brie Tucker: random. I it wasn’t one of Julia Roberts, like Amateur Gears bigger movies, but that was it. Right there. 

Whitney Casares: I used to hate that phrase, you teach other people how to treat you because I felt like it was real victim shaming. But I guess the way that I have come to, to understand is. You’re not responsible. It’s not your fault that this is the way you’re programmed, but you can choose to not continue to be complicit in that being your role as you move forward. So, I do have some level of responsibility of standing up for myself basically, of taking up space.

JoAnn Crohn: yeah. I have never seen that phrase as victim shaming, but now I could see how it would be victim shaming. I’ve always seen it as a very powerful thing and like a permission giving because so often, I’ve been told oh, if people treat me this way, this is just how I have to deal with it. I have to deal with it. But to know that you have that impact in how people treat you, is almost affirming. It’s empowering for me, but that’s interesting, the victim shaming. I’d never thought of

Whitney Casares: Yeah. And I think to expect, you know, the thing that people come to me on my site, on my Instagram, all the things like people will complain a lot or say a lot, yes, I say that to my partner, but then they come back, like it causes fights or causes irritation between us. And I’m like, well, that’s normal because we’re the first generation who’s having these conversations. So of course it does, 

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah. And disagreements are fine. They’re fine. it’s so interesting because, something set me off this morning in a book I was listening to where, it was about setting boundaries, but one of the boundaries she says, we don’t fight in front of the kids. And I’m like, wait a minute.

this is something that was told to us generation upon generation. And yes, you don’t name call, you don’t like shame, you don’t do anything like that. we think disagreements are fighting and they’re not fighting. Disagreements are a logical conversation where both people are hearing each other. Both people are trying to understand each other and come to a resolution. so I think it’s just needs to, the term needs to shift in our society a little bit 

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Well, I totally, okay, I’m going to 100 percent get with you on that one because I think that when you don’t have healthy communication, and again, disagreements are healthy communication. when you don’t have. Discussions in conflict resolution, your kids expect either that that is an ideal relationship, right?

Like they’re going to be like, well, my parents never fought, so if I’m fighting with somebody, I must have a problem. This must not be a good relationship. Or they just have this expect. Can you imagine the amount of shame, internal shame you would have on yourself if that was your expectation of what a normal relationship was? Was that you never have conflicts so then every time you’re in a conflict you’re like, oh my god I’m, not a good person because i’m constantly having conflict.

JoAnn Crohn: That’s what I thought a normal relationship was when I like went into relationships. I didn’t think there was conflict. I was like, if it’s meant to work out, it’ll work out and there will never be any conflict. And Whitney, this actually goes into one of your steps, which, we’re going to get into right after this break. What we were saying is that, I felt that was a relationship when I first went into relationships. You don’t fight. You don’t have any conflict. I never saw my parents have any conflict except one where they were yelling at each other. And I remember hiding with my sister in our room, which was terrifying to us because we had never seen even a little disagreement before. So this leads into a step in your book with dealing with your parenting partner. Can you tell us about that?

Whitney Casares: Yeah, so step three is communicate with compassionate assertiveness. And I think to your point, if our kids only see huge arguments. They think that’s what disagreement looks like all the time, and they think that disagreement looks like someone’s threatening to walk out, right? Someone’s threatening to leave.

Someone’s about to get hurt. you know, this big major thing, if we allow them to see the small arguments or disagreements or discussions, that teaches them that the norm is actually those more logical, less heated discussions, and that people can actually right. Problem solved together that they can have a different point of view that it’s okay to have a different point of view.

So compassionate assertiveness is about compassion. Number one, understanding the other person’s point of view. So trying to put yourself in their shoes, you know, trying to be, to my partner, we were talking about the cooking thing. We wouldn’t have an argument about me cooking, but if I had been like, forget it, I’m not going to cook anymore.

I don’t want to be your mom to be like, okay, compassion. I understand that. That’s the way you grew up. I understand this is the way that you were raised. I understand this was your expectation going into the marriage. I came from a very traditional family. My husband did too, like very conservative, all of that.

Then I can have some assertiveness. Assertiveness is, but what do I need in this moment? And what specifically do I need you to do to make this relationship for me? if for example, it was a different night, I didn’t want to cook. I could be like, well, listen. I have actually been working all day. I’ve been doing podcasts or I’ve been seeing patients or I’ve been writing or the kids have been a mess or I just need a break.

And so this is not a night that I can cook. Then assertiveness. So we have some options as a couple, and this is what I need from you because I’m all tapped out. I need help with you deciding you could order out, you could make food, you could do whatever, or I need you to just be in charge. of dinner tonight.

I can’t even give you suggestions. I just need you to handle it, right? So compassionate assertiveness is like you take, you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, but at the same time, you don’t back down because you’re so empathetic to the other person or wanting to be pleasing to them that you don’t stand up for what you need and what’s going to be the best thing long term for your relationship

JoAnn Crohn: That’s a hard one, the don’t back down when you get your first signs of pushback, because oh my gosh, the struggle is real there, Whitney, because sometimes I ask my husband to do something, and he’ll be like, oh yeah, but this is going on, and I’ll be like, oh it’s okay, I’ll do it myself, it’s okay. And you try to smooth it over and you try to make everything okay. I mean, Bri, you’re laughing. I’m assuming you know exactly what 

Brie Tucker: I’m I’m laughing because not only does that happen in you know, my relationship, that happens in yours and my relationship with working like just the other day we were dealing with something and Joanne’s like, can you do this? I’m worried that you’ve got a lot going on. I can do it. I’m all like, no, I can do it.

JoAnn Crohn: It happens with everyone. it’s not just a, male female dynamic with partners. It’s like in every relationship, we don’t want to be the one who’s The quote unquote, bitch, like that’s what we’re known to be labeled for when we ask for what we want.

Whitney Casares: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that’s where there’s a whole chapter in the book. That’s about boundaries that’s where I think healthy boundaries come in and Learning that sometimes actually having a compromise or backing down from the boundary is the right thing to do in that situation To me, it’s about patterns Do I find myself over and over again, backing down, being like, I don’t want to have that conflict or I’m just going to take it on or I’m going to do it.

If I noticed myself getting into that pattern, that’s usually when I’m like, okay, no, Whitney, you gotta you gotta say something. And even if I can’t articulate myself as well as I want to in that moment, because I think sometimes when you’re used to like pleasing, it’s really hard to can’t find the words.

Sometimes I’ll get it out in whatever way I can in that moment. And then once I’ve had a moment to think about it or maybe write it down, I’ll go back to my partner and be like, this is what I really meant, Scott. This is what I was trying to communicate and wasn’t able to when I felt all triggered and emotional in that moment. And that helps a lot too. Cause then the heat’s not on quite as much on that conversation.

Brie Tucker: Well, that’s huge because it shows okay, we can come back to this. We can come back to this in the same, like you’re giving that same permission to your partner. I would love for you to come back to me if we had like a rough interaction for you to be able to come back because I don’t know about the rest of you guys. I’m still cowering, like afraid that they’re upset with me and I don’t know how to fix it if they’re, so come back and own it. 

JoAnn Crohn: I get that too. And one time I knew my husband was upset with me. I knew it and I kept asking if anything is wrong and he kept saying no and then finally it came out and I hate those situations but then when he told me what he was upset at and it was something I said like that he wasn’t helping enough and he felt bad about that because he felt like he was really doing his it.

and I understood in that moment what he was going through. And I’m like, thank you so much for telling me that and telling me what I did upset you. because that is never my intention at all. And, just reaffirming that. Cause I think that guys and people in general have a really hard time being vulnerable with emotions or saying that they’re upset.

women are programmed to be that way. we’re okay with our emotions, but men are not programmed to be that way. So it’s a, it’s hard. It’s hard, but Whitney, we’re obviously not going to get to your five steps. And if you’re listening really closely, you may have noticed we went from step one to step three, but we have a solution for you. And Whitney, what is that solution for them?

Whitney Casares: The solution is go buy the book, you know, go get it from your library, get it from a friend. If you don’t buy it, it’s called doing it all, stop over functioning and become the mom and person you are meant to be. And it’s a framework that you can come back to again and again. I think one of the major takeaways from this episode, I hope that you all hear is that this is about setting a foundation that’s strong. And then practicing it again and again, and then having the tools to give yourself compassion and grace when it doesn’t go well the first time.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes, 

Brie Tucker: Yes, 

JoAnn Crohn: Indeed. 

Brie Tucker: yes. 

Whitney Casares: So it’s a workbook style. It’s pretty cool because you can write down your own thoughts about it. You can actually practice in the moment and then you can use that to come back to it later.

JoAnn Crohn: Well, it’s been wonderful talking with you, Whitney. Thank you so much for sharing all this and everyone, make sure that you work on knowing your worth. That is the most important thing before you’re going in and setting boundaries with other people and advocating more for yourself and, Whitney, thank you again.

Whitney Casares: Yeah, absolutely. 

JoAnn Crohn: The first step that Whitney mentioned, the knowing your worth, I think is the hardest but the most essential step to setting boundaries with people and to communicating with your partner in the home because so much goes wrong when we back down.

Brie Tucker: Right. I mean, honestly, I think you and I have talked about this so much and we hear this message over and over again. from our guests, social media. So I mean, it’s important. It’s a big thing that a lot of us struggle with. We question our worth in our family, our worth in our, in all of our relationships and that, and when we question it, most of the time we underestimate ourselves.

We’re like, Oh, I’m not as important, okay, take this one, right? Because my partner works full time and I either A, don’t work full time or I B, stay at home and watch the kids, my time is not as important as theirs.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes, like letting your partner rest and relax when they come home from work but you’re still running around like crazy even though you’ve run around like crazy for the past like eight or nine hours taking care of kids and taking care of everything else that needs to be done.

Brie Tucker: Oh, yeah. Or how about this crazy one where it’s like we both work, yet when my partner is tired, They’re allowed to rest, but I still need to take care of the kids, or the house, or dinner, or everything else. that’s not, and like we’re, I don’t know how many times we have to hear it and we’ll keep saying it till it, it resonates with everybody, but you deserve rest. You deserve reprieve. You deserve mental breaks.

JoAnn Crohn: You deserve to be happy and your feelings need to be acknowledged and supported and all the things. Bree’s giving me faces because of a conversation we had off air.

Brie Tucker: Uh huh. Yeah. Yeah. All the things are important. 

JoAnn Crohn: All the things are important. No, something that’s really helped me recalibrate is, and I swear we should make bracelets for this, but the what would my husband do? Because when you think in those terms, what would my husband do? It really helps to reset and to reset that guilt. for instance, right now my husband is traveling and I am tired at the end of the day, understandably.

I mean, I work full time and then I’m taking care of all the kids needs and everything. Guess who’s done DoorDash? The DoorDash! They know us so well right now. They know us so well because every night it’s oh, well, do I make something or do I DoorDash? And I’m like, I DoorDash because I’ve actually, Brie, you’d be proud of me, last night when I finished work at 6 p.

m., I went upstairs, I door dashed something for me and my daughter, because my son actually went out with my father in law. They went plane spotting because a 747 was coming into Phoenix and that was big. 747s usually don’t come into Phoenix. and, So I poured myself a glass of wine and then I went out on our back patio.

It’s beautiful right now in Arizona. And I read and I had my glass of wine and I had Addie, my dog, right next to me. It was so delightful and relaxing. And I’m like, yes, this is how it should be.

Brie Tucker: Right? and that wasn’t asking a ton. That was just a little thing. And I think 100 percent that’s right. saying what would my partner do? What would my husband do? we talk about this in the episode, like society doesn’t have the same expectations for men and women and family relationships.

And I feel like I’m constantly like when those little fishies swimming upstream, like all the time, like trying to fight. And that’s even with a supportive spouse right now that believes that I am his equal and that this is a true partnership. When you have a spouse that doesn’t, wasn’t brought up that way, doesn’t have that thought process, it’s that much harder, but you are worth it.

You can start these conversations with, I loved Whitney’s book. I love it. So I can’t. tell you guys enough, like the importance of go out. If you’re listening to this right as this episode drops, you need to preorder it. If you’re listening to a little bit later, it’s out. Go get it. It’s on Amazon. It’s a fantastic book. And she really helps a lot. All the things you hear us talk about on No Guilt Mom, you’re going to be going, yup.

JoAnn Crohn: Yes. Yes. Yes, because something I always come back to, guilt is the feeling that you think you’re doing something wrong. So if what you think is wrong, like rest and relaxation, that’s why you feel guilty. You’re thinking it’s wrong to rest. You’re thinking it’s wrong to do stuff for yourself. You’re thinking it’s selfish. And that’s where the guilt’s coming from. Yeah. but if you look at it that way, you’re like, wait, I think sitting down on the couch and reading while my partner is working is wrong. That’s a little messed up. that doesn’t make sense. And why is it okay if he’s on the couch and I’m working? That doesn’t compute.

Brie Tucker: Right.

JoAnn Crohn: So it has you start looking at things like that and be like, okay, we need to realign some things.

Brie Tucker: So, so that actually makes me think too, like again, if you’re just joining us and you’re thinking that what we’re saying makes sense, have you joined our newsletter? You need to join our newsletter, going over to balanceformoms. com, join our newsletter. You’re going to like what you’re going to hear.

JoAnn Crohn: it’s great every week. it’s a little note for me as well as we do a segment called two minutes, one book, where if you see all of the knowledge out there in terms of self care, in terms of boundaries, in terms of parenting, you’re like, Oh, I just don’t have time to read all of it. Guess what?

I give you an actionable thing right there in the newsletter you could do. So it’s like you read the book because you’re doing something from the book. You don’t have to. And that’s in our newsletter. So balance for moms. com, make sure you go sign up and until next time, remember. The best mom is a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.