Podcast Episode 289: You’re How Old? Tackling the Guilt and Judgment When You Have Kids Later In Life Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

Jess Heimann: I don’t have those same, external stressors that can affect your parenting style, so I definitely, approach things differently in that regard of, we do a lot more, experience type things. We, don’t have to say, oh, that’s not in the budget or be stressed about the money aspect because we’re in a good place.

JoAnn Crohn: Welcome to the No Guilt Mom podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined here by the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker: Why? Hello. Hello. How are you? Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: another lovely here today. We have the lovely Jess Heimann joining us too. So welcome, welcome Jess.

Jess Heimann: Hi, thank you for having me.

Brie Tucker: Just one of my oldest oldest besties. Well, I, okay. that didn’t sound right. Especially considering today’s episode. But what I mean was

Jess Heimann: We go

Brie Tucker: way back. Girl, girl goes back to my college days, man. Yes. Yes. Jess and Glenda.

JoAnn Crohn: back to 98.

Brie Tucker: She, they, they helped raise me

JoAnn Crohn: Yes. Not so to differentiate for those of you who listened to no guilt, my podcast, Jess is not the one who taught Brie how to do laundry.

Brie Tucker: No, Jess

Jess Heimann: I probably taught you something else that’s not as useful.

Brie Tucker: me a whole, whole bunch and I’m trying to think like, Oh, you know what Jess taught me that always sticks in my mind that there are towns in Missouri where you can park in the middle of the street.

Jess Heimann: That’s right. Shout out to Lathrop, Missouri, baby! 

JoAnn Crohn: I have

Brie Tucker: One stop light.

JoAnn Crohn: and I

Brie Tucker: Yeah, yeah, one stop light and you park in the middle of the street, man. It’s crazy. That’s

JoAnn Crohn: So just, I’m interested. What is Brie taught you?

Jess Heimann: Oh, gosh. A lot, actually. you know she was a rehab psych major. So, um, she, she helped me deal with a lot of my wild emotions from having a questionable childhood, for sure. And, if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have worked in drug and alcohol counseling.

Brie Tucker: say! We worked in rehab

Jess Heimann: yeah, we did.

Brie Tucker: So yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: In like, the good way. You were in rehab. You could just, you should just leave with that. We were in rehab together.

Brie Tucker: We had to go to rehab and we said yeah, yeah, yeah! No, that didn’t work? Okay, I tried.

Jess Heimann: No, but also, she’s incredibly positive. And, um, so I, I learned a lot of how to reframe situations from talking them through with her. So,

JoAnn Crohn: I love that. I love that.

Brie Tucker: the toxic positivity on occasions. Now, now that I look back at it, I’m only saying that in Respect to not the best romantic relationships of my life. you have observed not the best ones,

Jess Heimann: I have, as a

Brie Tucker: Cause I was, I was optimistic, but

Jess Heimann: We were in

Brie Tucker: we were in it to win it and it still didn’t quite win, but that’s okay. It’s all good.

JoAnn Crohn: we wanted to have Jess join us because we’re talking all about becoming a mom at a later age because it’s still a little bit taboo in society and we are going to get into it. and we hope that you enjoy the show.

Brie Tucker: Okay. So a little while back, we did an episode about being proud of your body as a mom. And Jess had reached out to me and said like, Oh, you, you really liked that episode. And then we were chatting more and I was like, you know, are there other things that you feel like are sometimes hard to connect with?

And you brought up the idea of this episode of how hard it can be when you didn’t have your kids in your 20s, basically, right? Like, and then that made me go down a rabbit hole when I was looking into it some more. And I found a really, I hadn’t really realized this, but it totally makes sense.

And like how much society can be it. Just really judgy about it. So like what I found was that Cameron Diaz, like, I love her. First of all, I’m just going to say that, like, I’ve always loved

Jess Heimann: Oh yeah, she’s fantastic.

JoAnn Crohn: She hasn’t been around like much in movies. She’s kind of disappeared from the public

Jess Heimann: To raise her children.

JoAnn Crohn: to raise her kids.

Brie Tucker: And so Cameron had her second kid a couple of years ago at 51 and she was just, raked over the coals for that. Like people were like, Oh, you’re too old. How can you do that? That was so ridiculous and it’s selfish.

Jess Heimann: It’s unfair to the kids, yeah.

JoAnn Crohn: And, and yet we have 80 year old

Brie Tucker: I know,

JoAnn Crohn: the babies, like why?

Brie Tucker: double standard

Jess Heimann: a stud! That’s what they say.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah.

Brie Tucker: yeah. Yeah and so you were saying that when I had brought this up about how I was like, okay, I want to like Dive into this and how society like completely just beat up Cameron Diaz for this.

But like you guys both said, doesn’t do that to men. just, you were like, okay, that made me go down a rabbit hole. And I found a whole bunch of celebrities. So I want to hear more about like, what is you find for how many, like how, because the stats, support that there are more women having kids after the age of 30 than ever before. But yeah, society acts like that doesn’t happen.

Jess Heimann: Yeah, no, definitely. The societal standards are still stuck in some archaic time, which I’m evidenced by when you’re over 35 and you go to the OBGYN for your pregnancy, it’s labeled a geriatric pregnancy. Like, from, from the jump, it already has the stigma attached to it. and, you know, for me, like, once I got over that, I was like, oh, actually, it just means that I get more medical care.

I got a high risk doctor. I got, ultrasounds regularly or sonograms regularly, so I got to see my little baby’s face a lot more than other moms. So, I marked that in the W category. and one other celebrity that we didn’t mention was, Janet Jackson. She was 50 when she had her

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, right.

Brie Tucker: forgot about that.

Jess Heimann: Yeah. And, you know, like even Nicole Kidman, she was 40 and 43, uh, Gwen Stefani was 44 when she had her last child. So it’s very common but I think something that has changed is the emphasis for women to, focus on their career. And a lot of times that leads to, okay, well, once I’ve gone up the corporate ladder or whatever ladder you’re climbing, then it’s like, now I’m going to focus on the family.

Whereas every family is different, right? There are some women who aspire to be a mom and that is their primary goal. And that’s amazing. Yeah. But they’re probably on the younger end of, of that bell curve of, of starting their families,

JoAnn Crohn: it’s interesting. Cause like when my, I got married to my husband, I did not want kids young. I didn’t like, we got married at 24, which was very young looking back. I’m like, I was a baby. I thought I was so

Brie Tucker: I know, right? You feel so old in the sense of like, I know so much at that age, right?

JoAnn Crohn: But at that age, his parents had him when they were 21. And my parents had me when they were, my mom was 31, my dad was 34 respectively. So I thought like having kids in your 30s, that was like a done deal. That was like, Perfect time to have kids. You could focus on things and it would be fine.

And I was all on that path because I was working in entertainment. I was going to be like an executive. I was going to work on TV shows. And then all of a sudden I didn’t want to do that anymore. And I changed careers. And it was because I was starting a new career, teaching. I was like, okay, we could have these kids now, but I would have.

Definitely waited. I had my daughter at 27, which I feel is really young for me. and it was. Definitely not in my life plan to do it that young.

Brie Tucker: Did your new job of being a teacher influence your, okay, we can have a kid? And the only reason I’m asking is because having worked in that field, I feel like it’s very well embraced. Like you clearly like kids, you’re working with kids. So a lot of people have kids. Do you feel like that, like, influenced your, okay, I think we could be ready now.

JoAnn Crohn: and I was seeing like, we actually went to go visit his cousins in Denver and they had a two year old and I saw like the two year old didn’t take over their entire life. Like they were still pursuing other things while they had a toddler. And that’s what changed my mind because for so long, I thought having a kid, like your life stopped and there goes all your goals and ambitions and dreams. And you have to focus everything on your child.

Brie Tucker: Yeah. And I feel like, okay, well, and then Jess, I want to ask you this because I know this little fact about you. I know that when you were in college, your degree was to be in family studies. It was, right?

Jess Heimann: child and family development is is my degree

Brie Tucker: you did not have kids right away, hence this conversation. So do you feel like, People gave you a hard time or viewed you like as what the heck, like you have a degree and child and family and like you’re not having kids.

Jess Heimann: yes, especially my own family. so my mom was 17 when she had me, which scared me tremendously, which is probably why I was not in a hurry. initially, I thought I would have my first child at 25, second at 27, wrap it up, be done. But then, Well, and then I ended up divorced at 26. So that already changed everything. And then I was like, you know, I just don’t know if I want to have a child. And my mom had a child late in life too. So my youngest sister is 21.

JoAnn Crohn: Oh, wow.

Jess Heimann: So it’s wild stuff, right? So we span multiple generations just in, in our siblings group here, but, I honestly didn’t even plan to have a child in my 30s. I didn’t plan to have a child at all, but. You know, it worked out that I was 39 when I had him and I would never change it. It’s the most amazing thing. But I think probably to your point, Joanne, of, of seeing, the child doesn’t have to overtake your life. And we really tried to embrace that. And, and we still do a lot of the same things that we used to, but we’re also older. Our interests have changed. we’re slowing down a little bit, you know, like it’s cool.

Brie Tucker: you got the fun times kind of like I would say sort of out of the way. And the reason I’m saying that is because, so I didn’t think I would have kids at all. And that was the interesting part too, like being in college with the two roommates that I had, Jess and Glenda, because they both were child focused, in their studies.

And I was, I loved my major on rehab psych, but one of the reasons I loved it was it didn’t require child development. I didn’t have to take any child cause we were, cause little kids weren’t in rehab, it was adults. so I had no intention of having kids. And then, when I got out of college, my job was working with kids and I decided that, Oh, okay.

Actually, you know, kids aren’t that bad. I kind of do like them. I think I want to do this. And then when I got married at 26, everybody at the wedding. Not one person that was a family member did not come up to me and say, so when you guys having kids? I’m like, are you, I am in a wedding dress right now.

Will you just give me some time to breathe Oh my gosh. We had our wedding at a bed and breakfast and so like, we got to stay the night along with our close family. The next morning at breakfast, they served me, fertility cereal. Mm And I was like, guys, I’m 27. Like, come on. Like, why is this pressure on women to have kids so damn early?

JoAnn Crohn: Like, it is unbelievable. And I imagine that along with some hard things about being a mom who’s older, Jess, I imagine there’s a lot of good things. And we’re going to get into that right after this. Jess, what are some of the benefits that you see as having baby later than like in your 20s?

Jess Heimann: well, so the obvious one is that many of my friends have already been down this path way ahead of me. So I got to be part of that experience, but I also get to, tap their shoulder and be like, Hey, how would you navigate this? so that is immensely . Helpful. also we’re much more established, you know, I’ve, I’ve been in this career for nearly 20 years, you know, so I don’t have those same, external stressors that can affect your.

Parenting style, so I definitely, approach things differently in that regard of, we do a lot more, experience type things. We, don’t have to say, oh, that’s not in the budget or be stressed about the money aspect because we’re in a good place. I’d also say. you know, just general life experience of things to show him, to talk to him about it just comes easier for me now than, you know, before your frontal lobe is developed or whatever, you know, and you don’t have the good judgment that you do, in your 40s. So,

Brie Tucker: Yeah. I love the fact that you talked about how you, you have your friends, you had kids before you got to see how they done messed up. So, you know, now and whatnot to do.

Jess Heimann: yes. Yes. That is an excellent different side of the coin there. But,

Brie Tucker: I’m trying to think, I think the funniest thing that always stuck in my head that like my, one of the, cause I had one sister who had kids before me and, my sister, Shanna. And I remember. potty training, because I think I was, still in college. So I was like coming back and stay with my parents.

My mom was the main, caregiver for my sister’s oldest when she was at work. . They used to give her like a little treat for every time, that she went to the bathroom. Um, and Eventually she figured out that, she could put, Apple juice in the potty. And that was like the big advice I gave people after that was like, don’t give them a treat for just going, because then they’re going to start like doing things just to get the treat. and yeah, I just, it was crazy.

JoAnn Crohn: I got the advice for potty training from Josh’s aunt who ran daycares forever and she, she’s like, double them up on underwear, pump them full of apple juice, and then take a day

Brie Tucker: Yes,

JoAnn Crohn: and you’ll, you’ll get them to go potty.

Brie Tucker: love that. I love that. And then, you know, the other thing, too, and, Jess, I’m curious what your thoughts are on this, but I say it all the time. Like, I feel like everybody needs a friend of Ghost of Parenting Future that has, like, the older kids that can tell you, like, I know it seems like you’ll never get through this stage, but you will very soon.

That should only last a couple of months. And I know it’s, it’s Sometimes it’s hard to hear people say that because you’re like a couple of months. Oh my god. I’m gonna die

Jess Heimann: Yes, because, the 1 thing, and I know we’re, we’re talking about positives, but the 1 thing that was challenging is because if you think about, you know, the after pregnancy hormones, how that, that changes and you’re just so exhausted, especially like, depending on if you breastfeed or not and, you know, how actively involved your, significant other is in the process.

Then, you know, when you’re. Right around that 40 year old mark, you’ve got the whole like perimenopause thing coming in and just to knock and mess everything up again. So it’s like, this wild roller coaster that you ride, of emotions and, and hormones and all that stuff. But so I definitely would be remiss if I didn’t mention that because it is quite the effect,

Brie Tucker: yeah, it’s like do I ever get a break? So

Jess Heimann: and because you were already tired now, you’re really tired.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, I would imagine that’s the hardest part about like having a baby older because now I see like my sister has an infant and a five year old and I’m like, okay, like I do not have the same amount of energy with these two children that I did with my own children.

And just because like being older and everything, but it’s also a state of mind because I mean, you know how your mindset influences behavior. So like, I know I’m done with kids. my husband has been saying for the longest time, that is the benefit of having kids younger is that you have more energy. So I’m also wondering, I’m like, is this an all in my mind that I had for energy then? Like, is this just like versus when you’re younger. I don’t know what your guys thoughts are about that, but.

Brie Tucker: I think for me definitely like and you’ve heard me say this before Joanne like when I turned 40 I definitely like between the age of 40 and 42 There was a huge change that happened in me. Like I cannot do what I used to be able to do. And so I also had the like, freshly divorced, I got divorced at 38.

So I kind of had that whole second in your 20s lifestyle for a little while. And I could do that. But then once I turned to like, once I was like in 41, I’m like, Oh my God. God, I can’t go out to a concert till like 2 a. m. And then get up and go kayaking the next morning at six. It doesn’t work anymore. My

JoAnn Crohn: That’s funny, I could never do that. That was never in my wheelhouse. Ever.

Brie Tucker: coffee was involved in that, but I couldn’t make it happen now, as much as I love doing it, that alarm goes off and I’m like, forget it. I don’t know. Nope. Sleep, sleep over

Jess Heimann: Yeah.

Brie Tucker: else.

Jess Heimann: And I have never been a morning person, but my husband and my child both are, so I have had to overcome that. I mean, it’s been, it’s, it’s not been great.

JoAnn Crohn: My husband has had to overcome that, because I’m the morning person,

Brie Tucker: Yes. Yes, my son. My daughter, not. Not so much. My daughter, she, I was like, oh my gosh, I woke up at 8. 30 today. It’s so late. And she’s like, mom, stop shaming late sleepers. Like, you’re weird. I’m

JoAnn Crohn: like, no.

Brie Tucker: It’s always, it’s, I always know it’s coming when you and I go on a trip together, Joanne. I’m like, she’s going to wake me up at the crack of dawn. I know it. I know it. Uh,

JoAnn Crohn: gym or something like

Brie Tucker: You do, you do the last time we stayed together, we kept the blinds open and that got me that

Jess Heimann: Oh, yeah, that, would never happen. Yeah.

Brie Tucker: room is completely dark because I’m like,

JoAnn Crohn: That’s the trick for it to be early. You just

Brie Tucker: I can’t.

JoAnn Crohn: Yep.

Brie Tucker: So, I was thinking that, we have talked about the benefits, but we haven’t talked a whole lot about those struggles. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. and ways that you can overcome them. And I was thinking we should add that in here, like right after this break.

JoAnn Crohn: Okay, so let’s get into some of those struggles that Older moms may face. We talked a little bit about it in the beginning with Cameron Diaz being shamed by everyone for being an older mom. what have you come across, Jess? Have you had anyone say anything unnecessary to you?

Jess Heimann: so there’s always the question of, like, Oh, is this your grandchild

Brie Tucker: my God.

Jess Heimann: your child? I mean, so I look a little bit younger than my chronological age, but My husband looks older than me, even though he’s younger, so I think that that’s really where it comes in when they look at us. Yes, he’s, he’s got the whole salt and pepper thing going on and, whatever.

So, and there are people our age, like, that we graduated high school with or whatever that do have grandchildren because they had kids pretty much like straight out the gate or some of them in high school, to be honest. So. I get it. It’s this weird thing, like anytime you see someone who you’re like, you’re probably in your 40s.

It could be a grandkid. It could be your child. It’s this very strange place that we’re in now. But, so that’s kind of weird. But the other thing is just like connecting to other parents, like, my son goes to a private school and most of the other parents in his class are, you know, 10 years younger than us. Or more,

Brie Tucker: So how does that make it hard to connect with those parents? what are the struggles there?

Jess Heimann: it’s just more like when you’re trying to talk to them about things other than the kids. The kids is the common denominator, right? Like, that’s the easy thing. But if you’re trying to connect to them in any other social way, it’s like, okay, they don’t know the same movies or music or, like, have the same interests, you know? Yeah. Yeah. You have to, like, have subtitles on everything, basically. Or, like, you know. but on the flip side, 1 of the positives is that there is a handful of kids in the class whose parents are our age. And we have, like, gravitated towards each other because we’re like, we are in the same boat together.

So we, it’s not a support group that any of us had prior to, but we were brought together. You know, from the kids being in the school together and, yeah, I dare say that those will be lifelong friendships all the way around. The kids love each other. And like, all of his parents, you know, have a great time together all, based on the premise that we were older parents, you

JoAnn Crohn: those kind of things are like, great to like, really help you get to know other parents. I mean, like finding something you have in common. I often thought that it’s funny you say that it was all about their kids like 10 years ago, because I think that’s really What it was for me to like, it was all about my kids when my kids were going through elementary school unbeknownst to me that it shouldn’t have been that way that that was the way to like a lot of depression and anxiety and just like, I mean, I, I don’t know about you, but I am of those.

I mean, obviously you just said it because I get bored when parents talk about their kids all the time. I’m like, so what are you doing? And they’re like, oh, I don’t really do anything else. I’m like, oh, okay.

Brie Tucker: and

Jess Heimann: I can’t identify with that.

Brie Tucker: and I am the living proof of. Don’t do that. Like in my first marriage with my kids, they were my everything. Like that was 100 percent all that I focused on. Now, granted, I didn’t realize how unhealthy it was at the time. That was my coping mechanism for dealing with a difficult marriage was, okay, I’m going to just put all my energy into the kids and focus on them because yeah, because they’re awesome and I love them and I can have a positive impact on that.

you know, one person can’t make a bad relationship work. But then when we got divorced and we did, equal parenting time. So I only had them 50 percent of the time. That was awful. That was like being dropped into the deep end, not knowing how to swim because I didn’t know what I liked doing. At all. I had, no idea what to do with my time when I didn’t have my kids and it was awful. And I wouldn’t want that for anybody. So yeah, finding interest outside of your kids is huge. And I know it can seem daunting when they’re, when they’re little, but it’s, it’s worth the investment and which is something great that you had. Cause you had your kids later, you had your established things that were you and you didn’t give them up.

Jess Heimann: Yep. And, you know, so so they definitely have become like my support network for a variety of things. So one of the other challenges is, when you’re younger, your parents are largely involved in, whether they’re, you know, helping with child care or just even an overnight. we don’t have that ability.

My husband’s parents are both, well, his mother is 76 and his father is 81. They have never been able to assist in the child care for us. and granted, when we had him, we lived in Dallas and we were alone. We had no 1 and then the pandemic hit and. none of our family had seen him in months and months, and so we made the tough decision to to leave Dallas and move back to Saint Louis so that he could see.

You know, his family and, we did that in thinking, Oh, this is really going to open up some opportunities for us to have a life because we had none other than, you know, what we would do with Brooks. so it was sort of like a. Sad realization. They were like, okay, well, we can’t get the support, in the same way that we could have if this had happened 20 years ago,

Brie Tucker: Did you ever ask him or did you guys, like, have, any instances where, like, you tried and they were like, oh, oh, no.

Jess Heimann: it was, so the one thing I haven’t brought up yet is the level of energy that my child has, he, he is off the charts, highly intelligent, but just wild body. Like, can’t sit still, always on the move, asks 50, 000 questions, which I know is age appropriate. But, for them, it’s like, whoa, because they only had one other grandchild, and, he’s 21 now. And he was very,

Brie Tucker: He can

Jess Heimann: yeah, see, nope,

Brie Tucker: Aw.

Jess Heimann: of kids.

JoAnn Crohn: Already taking them off. No. no, no,

Brie Tucker: Jess, you’re, Jess is like, you guys, uh, no. No. The face, the face dropped on that one.

Jess Heimann: He didn’t, he didn’t even want him to like hug him there for a while. It was, it was funny.

Brie Tucker: I can imagine.

Jess Heimann: But we’re, we’re, we’re moving forward. He’s a lot more open now and Brooks loves him. but he was a different child. Again, highly intelligent, but the opposite. Very calm, grew up with adults, yeah, just could play on his own.

everything opposite of my kid, basically. So they were like, he’s too much for us to handle. Even at, like, I don’t know, 18 months, they knew that. and they’re probably right, because he, you know, for the first five years of his life, we’ve just been keeping him alive. like, protecting him from himself, because he has no fear.

Brie Tucker: Just keeping him

JoAnn Crohn: That’s, that’s my nephew. That’s my nephew. I wonder if you and my sister could like share some, some war stories

Jess Heimann: gosh, I’m sure.

JoAnn Crohn: she’s had to deal with hot wheels, tried to flush down the toilet, like 20 of them, 20 hot wheels. He flushed down the toilet, tried to head, but a window with his forehead and broke the window, was throwing rocks in the living room and, crack their TV.

Brie Tucker: And recently tried to build a swimming pool made out of dog food.

JoAnn Crohn: Dog food. 20 pounds of dog food all over her living room floor. 

Brie Tucker: still waiting for the reasoning behind that one. You need to finish that conversation.

JoAnn Crohn: he mixed with water because he wanted a swimming pool.

Jess Heimann: That’s disgusting and he, this is the 5 year old.

JoAnn Crohn: This is the five year old. Yeah.

Jess Heimann: No, that totally tracks.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, that’s right.

Brie Tucker: I can’t. Oh God, I can’t. I’m trying to remember what was the uh, five, five, five. I don’t. My daughter had a lot of energy. She would, not sit at the table. She would, like, stand and dance next to the table during mealtimes. I had to teach her in school to, like, tap her foot, when she, like, wanted to get up but couldn’t and things like that.

But I’m trying to think. I think the worst that I had, and this would have been toddler, was when she decided to get some scissors and cut her hair. She cut. Chunks out of the dog’s hair, she, she cut

JoAnn Crohn: That’s creativity. She’s like,

Brie Tucker: clothes, all of a sudden she had all these shirts that had like little patches because my mom sewed on patches. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, that was, that was fun times. now I have to go to senior information night tonight, for my oldest. I know, I know, this is the crazy part, right? Like, this has got to be the weird, part of the weird part for you is that. Yeah, like our birthdays are a month apart, four years of college together, got married around the same time and everything, and I’ve got a senior in high school and a junior in high school.

Jess Heimann: Yeah, and I have a going into public school kindergartner.

Brie Tucker: Yeah. Right.

JoAnn Crohn: yeah.

Brie Tucker: And I

try to remember, I can remember, like, I just said, like I can remember big parts, but not the day to day life of the five year old.

JoAnn Crohn: Have to block it.

Brie Tucker: Maybe to have gotten

Jess Heimann: think people do,

JoAnn Crohn: block it. We

definitely block it because when I’m around my nephew, I’m like, Oh, this is a lot of energy. And he’ll be like, Auntie Jo, come play with me. And I’m like, I’m up here right now. I love you.

Brie Tucker: I’m trying to,

JoAnn Crohn: We played already.

Brie Tucker: I think the next big, awesome thing was when my kids got into first grade, they were able to start bathing by themselves. And that was like, Oh my God, 20 minutes of silence. Consistently. It was amazing.

JoAnn Crohn: kids getting older is a wonderful thing. It really,

Jess Heimann: know, but it’s also sad, like, some of the things that I’m like, this might be the last time he does this, or when you don’t know that it’s the last time. I mean, obviously, there’s so many things that you won’t know, but just like how he says things funny, you know,

Brie Tucker: it. Record it, man. You could listen to it

Jess Heimann: know, and I’m, I’m not very good at that, at all.

I need to do better, but I’m like, the only person in my household that takes pictures or videos. So, yeah. You know, I’m sure That’s a a shared experience for a lot of

Brie Tucker: Yeah. That’s a whole nother episode about how the mom is always behind the camera and never in the pictures.

JoAnn Crohn: I like honestly don’t miss my kids as toddlers ever. Like, I even look back at their, their pictures, like, when they were younger, and I’m like, oh, that’s cute. But then I’m like, and I, and I like them now. Like they keep being funny. They keep being interesting. Things surprise you about them.

Jess Heimann: Yeah, it’s like there’s something good about every phase and, and there, there’s some things that you just let fall away.

Brie Tucker: I will say this. Like I loved the blind love of the under five. and it was so big on their face too. Like how happy they would be. And now granted, yes, there was sadness. And I think I’m letting that phase out of my memory. But Because now I have like moody teens, but at the same time, something amazing happened yesterday.

I was having a not great day and my daughter just got her license and She had the truck and I’m like, Hey, I need to have the script picked up. Can you go by and pick that up for me at CVS? First of all, hallelujah. Cause it was 110 degrees outside and I didn’t want to go out. So I was like, yay.

She went out in the heat. And when I talked to her on the phone about it, she’s like, well, why can’t you go to CVS? So I’m like, I can, I’m just having a sad day. I’m just trying to pull myself together. So if you could do this for me, it would be a great help. And she’s like, okay. So she went, got the, prescription comes back home and then goes, here you go.

and then she goes in, here you go. And she handed me my favorite candy. And I was like, Oh, that’s so sweet. A five year old wouldn’t have been able to do that, but they would, if they could, they just, they don’t have the resources, but that was really sweet. So like, that’s something that like, as they get older, you’re like, yay.

JoAnn Crohn: Yeah, yeah. And then tomorrow, I’m sure she’ll be upset with me about something, probably because I can’t give her the truck to go somewhere, or I tell her she can’t go somewhere. Yeah. Always, always

Jess Heimann: It’s the ebb and flow.

Brie Tucker: yeah,

JoAnn Crohn: Well, just. Thank you so much for joining us for this conversation. It’s been so interesting and I’m sure a lot of people out there in our podcast land can definitely identify with having kids later and also like the benefits and joys that come with it. so thank you again.

Jess Heimann: Well, thanks for having me. It was so awesome to talk to you guys today.

Brie Tucker: yeah. And you know what? if you feel like this episode resonated with you, tell us about it. Leave us a review on our podcast. Let us know what you thought. Let us know what more episodes you would like to hear going forward. We’d love that. Or again, if it resonated with you, share it with a friend. Share the love people share the No Guilt Mom love.

JoAnn Crohn: until next time, remember the best mom’s a happy mom. Take care of you. We’ll talk to you later.

Brie Tucker: Thanks for stopping by.