A Teacher’s Apology
Biggie started Kindergarten and I’m having a hard time with it. I have the mommy kindergarten blues. I never thought I would be THAT parent who wants to walk their child into the classroom, help them unpack, and find their seat. As a teacher it always seemed like a nuisance and completely unnecessary. Well, this former teacher and mama is getting a taste of her own medicine. I can’t let go of my first baby’s hand and watch him walk into the future.
I feel completely blessed to have Biggie in a terrific school, but in my fear of letting go I am finding small things to complain about. The drop off area is filled with people and I’m afraid he won’t find his classroom. This isn’t true, fabulous teachers are waiting each day to walk him to his door. I worry that I didn’t pack him enough food. This isn’t true, he comes home with leftovers every day. My biggest fear is that he is sad and scared and misses his mommy. This isn’t true, he is having a blast and loves his new friends.
All I can say is sorry to all the parents I had in all the years I was teaching. I was young and didn’t have kids and didn’t understand how difficult it can be to send your kids to the care of a teacher you know nothing about. I can imagine that it doesn’t get easier the older they get because they are that much closer to actually leaving you and going to college. If and when I go back to teaching, I am going to be much more empathetic to the parents and be such a better teacher for it. Now I realize there is a lot more to teaching than test scores and performance (although the districts would say otherwise).
There are blessings in Biggie starting school. Beauty, Buddy and I are bonding like never before. The boys aren’t fighting and the routine makes the home feel controlled and solid, whereas during the summer it was a free for all of sorts with the pressure of keeping the kids entertained. I feel like a better mother when I have routine and know what to expect. My kids are grateful for a happy mama. Now, I need to stop concentrating on the tiny things about Biggie’s school I am unhappy about and focus on the incredible things God is working on in our home. It’s time this mama learns to give up some control.
Now, any suggestions on how I do that?
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I have to prepare… i’m sending my oldest to K next year!
Good Luck! I never thought I would have a problem, seeing as he was in pre-k for two years, but for some reason the whole all-day thing hit me hard.
Great way to learn from your experiences! I would imagine there are plenty of young teachers who don’t fully get what the parents are going through, but there are advantages to that youth as well!
Thank you…that is so true and such a nice way to put it.
My older son is starting Reception (the UK version of kindergarten) in a week and a half, and I feel ya. I am both incredibly excited to get back into a regular routine for the sake of the whole family, but also really sad that the carefree days of our summer are coming to a close. And of course that he is growing so big so quickly and I just can’t seem to make the time slow down.
Are you joining us from the UK?! The mixed emotions were hard for me too…elation that the summer was over but sadness that my baby was getting so big. Hang in there Mama…glad to hear I am not the only one.