Podcast Episode 351: The Wild, Weird, and Hilarious Things Our Kids Have Done Transcripts

Please note: Transcripts for the No Guilt Mom Podcast were created using AI. As a result, there may be some minor errors.

JoAnn Crohn (00:00.111)

I’ll just welcome to the no guilt mom podcast. I’m your host, JoAnn Crohn, joined by the lovely Brie Tucker.

Brie Tucker (00:06.444)

Why hello, hello everybody, how are you? We are snacking today while we’re recording. I have, what are you eating?

JoAnn Crohn (00:09.337)

I’m still chewing, we’re eating. We’re eating here guys. I’m eating a Bear Bells protein bar, which is like the most delicious protein bar ever. Bear Bells come sponsor us. I will talk about you for free. It tastes like candy. You get it at Trader Joe’s. It’s so good.

Brie Tucker (00:29.108)

Well, let’s see, I have a magic spoon protein treat. It’s kind of like a keto approved Rice Krispie treat, but it has protein because they keep telling me I need more protein in perimenopause. So I’m trying. I don’t think this is what they necessarily meant, but I’ll go for it. Close enough.

JoAnn Crohn (00:38.723)

Mm.

JoAnn Crohn (00:47.279)

Well, I think they do mean that though, because, okay, so I have been telling you about this new app I found that you take a picture of your food and it automatically finds what food it is and tells you your protein, your carbs, your fat, like all your macros and your calories. Because usually when I try to like track what I eat, I’m like, I don’t wanna take out my food and look for the food and then like, yes, so this, you snap a picture, it finds everything. It’s unbelievable. But,

Brie Tucker (01:07.36)

Yeah, yeah, that’s me.

Brie Tucker (01:13.646)

So like I could put like a, could make dinner, like my own made dinner of like roasted chicken and whatever. And it’ll tell me what that is. Like it’ll know through my terrible cooking. Wow.

JoAnn Crohn (01:16.591)

Mm-hmm.

JoAnn Crohn (01:21.961)

Yes, it will. It’s like magic. Like I took a picture. I make this beef enchilada skillet and I had leftovers today for lunch. I just took a picture of it and it figured it out. Now it told me this is the first mistake it’s made. I’ve been using it for two days. It said I had a pound of ground beef in there. I did not. It was like maybe a quarter pound because I used I use like two pounds of ground beef for the whole thing and this was leftovers. Like this was like, yeah, it was wrong on that.

but I just go in and I really like organize it and it’s fine. We were at Starbucks this morning and Eric was having a bagel and he’s like, take a picture of my bagel. Let’s see what’s in it. It did it. It found it was the bagel and knew that it had two tablespoons of cream cheese on that bagel. Just a lot of fricking cream cheese, but it got it.

Brie Tucker (02:07.982)

That’s amazing. That’s just crazy that the technology that exists. It’s crazy.

JoAnn Crohn (02:15.875)

But it’s fun because also I put in my goals that I want some fat loss because I’ve gained some body fat. I don’t like the body fat. It comes with aging. And of course, high protein is what everyone’s talking about, Brie. High protein. It tells me, get this, my protein goal is 148 grams of protein a day. It’s a lot of protein. It’s a lot. But that’s pretty typical now because no one’s getting enough protein.

Brie Tucker (02:28.876)

Yes, less sugar, more protein.

Brie Tucker (02:37.938)

my gosh.

JoAnn Crohn (02:45.837)

So this bar has 20 grams of protein. I’m very happy with it. Very happy with the protein distribution.

Brie Tucker (02:46.07)

Interesting.

Brie Tucker (02:50.402)

Let’s see, mine has 12 grams of protein. So that’s not bad. And one gram of sugar. So that’s not bad. I like it. It works.

JoAnn Crohn (02:54.425)

See, that’s pretty good.

Yeah. So if you guys are interested in this app, it’s called Synopsys. I just should tell you because I know we’re going to get a lot of messages. It’s called Synopsys and it is a paid app. It’s like $4.99 a month. But like they have a seven day free trial. So I’m on seven day free trial right now, but I already love it. I already love it.

Brie Tucker (03:16.11)

I feel like I need to add in like I got well, I got my magic spoon from our thrive market Deal. I love I love the yummy snacks. I’m getting there. But okay focus Brie focus. Wow People are like what is this episode about?

JoAnn Crohn (03:22.305)

Yes, yes.

JoAnn Crohn (03:29.431)

Well, we wanted to do a lighthearted episode. So we bring you in talking our lighthearted things while we’re eating. We’re just having a conversation with y’all. It’s like you’re at a coffee shop with me and Bri and me and Brie can’t stop eating at coffee shops nor getting up to get straws or everything like that. So you’re really kind of kind of in it with us right now.

Brie Tucker (03:48.108)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is it. This is our, actually, it’s our mid afternoon snack break right now. I’m willing, like whenever we, you and I meet, like in the late afternoon, there’s always a snack that pops in there somewhere.

JoAnn Crohn (03:59.703)

It’s snack break and if it was later, it would be wine or alcohol. But this this episode, we just want to let you know you’re not alone in the funny stuff your kids do. So we’re going to share a little funny stories about our kids, things where we’re like, my gosh, how are they not dead already? Because kids do stuff, guys. Kids do stuff. You have to save them all the time, all the time. So if you feel like it’s on you, like you’re not doing a good enough job because your kids are so accident prone.

Brie Tucker (04:02.914)

Yes, yes, yes, a nice spritzer.

Brie Tucker (04:10.626)

Yes!

Brie Tucker (04:19.276)

They do!

JoAnn Crohn (04:29.559)

It’s not, we’re gonna share some things. We’re gonna share some things.

Brie Tucker (04:30.02)

just, yeah, just wait, just wait. Yeah, we got some stuff for you. So prepare to laugh. If you’re drinking a liquid, be aware you might spit it out while laughing, listening to this episode, but that’s okay. And our kids may never speak to us again. No, I’m joking, hopefully.

JoAnn Crohn (04:35.631)

Mm-hmm.

JoAnn Crohn (04:45.551)

We’re going for younger stories, children. So if you hear us talking about this, it’s all younger stories. You’re fine with us sharing and nothing embarrassing. So.

Brie Tucker (04:52.876)

Yes, I had good ones, but I was like, that’s teetering that line where they’re gonna come back to get me. So I’m not gonna do that one.

JoAnn Crohn (04:58.797)

Yes, yes. So now let’s get on with the show. that’s you.

Brie Tucker (05:04.289)

That’s cool. I was gonna tell them where my inspiration came for this episode. Is that okay? like to, hold on. No, don’t play music. You couldn’t hear that, could you? Okay, I didn’t think so. All right, what is his name though? Okay, it is the Layton Show. Layton, Layton, L-E-I-G-H-T-O-N. I’d pronounce that as Layton, right?

JoAnn Crohn (05:31.191)

maybe? Maybe, yeah, Leighton. Or Leighton? I don’t know. I know how it’s spelled. I don’t know how to pronounce it.

Brie Tucker (05:34.562)

Here, I can share.

I don’t know either. It don’t matter, it’s not our problem anyways. Okay, all right, ready? And we will, I’ll start. You want me to start it in? Okay.

Okay guys, so when there is this gentleman that I follow on TikTok and Instagram, I love him to death. I believe it’s like, we were trying to figure out how to say his profile. It’s either the Leighton show or the Leighton, Leighton, Leighton? Leighton. Right, and he does the, and you may have seen it before, he does like the text messages from your teenagers or like the list of 10 things I’ve done that has pissed off my kids today.

JoAnn Crohn (06:03.759)

I would say late and elite and that would be when I’d be going between, yeah.

Brie Tucker (06:17.39)

And so like recently had one of about text messages from their teenagers and one was like, chicken broth, it’s not the sweat of chickens, right? And then does grandma have any kids? That was another text. And that just made me think of all the dumb, not dumb, take that back. What are all the funny things that I’ve experienced with my kids before and for the moment when it happens, you’re going, what in the heck? Oh my God.

JoAnn Crohn (06:47.321)

Yeah. Yeah. my, my favorite account to follow for these. I think his kids went off to college because he hasn’t posted very often. He now has best of on there, but it was teenager pro tips. And so it’s just like little things like, charge your phone by first unplugging your mom’s like that. That’s, that’s pretty much it. how would it talk to a parent? Hear parents say good night, wait 30 minutes, enter parent room.

Brie Tucker (06:57.226)

Yes! You shared those, share some.

Brie Tucker (07:07.328)

Hey!

JoAnn Crohn (07:16.431)

Give comprehensive account of your month. That’s something I get a lot. 7.40 AM school drop off. 7.35 to 7.40 AM. Ask to sign all the school forms.

Brie Tucker (07:19.126)

hahaha

Brie Tucker (07:28.894)

my gosh, wait, okay, I have one to add in there. Decide that you want to go off campus for lunch even though you’re not allowed to at school. Start texting your mom five minutes before lunch, asking her to email the school to let you leave. Doesn’t answer, text her 30 seconds later, and then 30 seconds later, and then 30 seconds later. Sorry. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (07:31.577)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (07:48.803)

Yes, here’s another one for us with teenage drivers, proactively correct more experienced drivers.

Brie Tucker (07:56.814)

Mine just tell me stop it mom. I’m a good driver. I wouldn’t be grabbing the handle if I thought you were

JoAnn Crohn (08:05.263)

Or the best time to ask a parent a question is when they are on a Zoom talking.

Brie Tucker (08:11.052)

or recording a podcast episode, right? Yes, yes.

JoAnn Crohn (08:12.855)

or recording a podcast episode. Yes, I mean, we go through all of these throughout the years and sharing some from younger so that both me and Brie keep our lives and our relationship with our children.

Brie Tucker (08:24.63)

Yes. Yeah. There we go. may, we keep like, we do know this is a long game, so we can’t publicly humiliate them on a podcast. Can you, do you remember me the other day telling you I’ve, I’m trying to take on a new mindset in parenting? It’s called 90s parenting, but it’s, but it’s not parenting us the way our parents did. No, no, it’s, you know this because I told you about it, but.

JoAnn Crohn (08:40.553)

Mm. Yes. Mm-hmm.

JoAnn Crohn (08:49.741)

Well, I think you need to tell the whole story behind it, Brie.

Brie Tucker (08:54.348)

Remind me where to start that story.

JoAnn Crohn (08:57.081)

So we were in Vegas and yes, and Brie sees something on her, what is the thing called? The ring?

Brie Tucker (08:59.374)

Okay, we were in Vegas, we were on the plane, right?

Brie Tucker (09:07.388)

yeah, I think I saw like, I got quiet. Okay.

JoAnn Crohn (09:09.049)

Hold on, you’re louding out, you’re, some are spiking. So it’s like, yeah.

Brie Tucker (09:16.11)

Okay, is that better? Yeah. I was, yeah, we were on the plane in Vegas and my Ring app went off and it made me remember a story I wanted to tell you that like a couple of days before we left for Vegas, Saturday morning, I’m in bed and for some reason, like my Ring app goes off. So I look at it and my son went outside. He left the house at like 8 a.m. and I’m like, that’s weird. And then he came back in at like 8.05.

And I looked at my husband and I’m like, hey, you know, Robert went out like an hour ago. What do think he was doing? And Miguel just laughs and was like, put the phone down. And I’m like, why? And he goes, you shouldn’t be spying on them. I’m like, I am not spying. The Ring app alerted me that he went outside. I’m just curious, why would he get up to go outside at eight in the morning? And he’s like, my God, you have to stop. So I sat there for a minute.

And I’m like, am I really out of line? And then I’m like, yeah, I guess I am. So my 90s parenting philosophy is if it was something my parents didn’t know I was doing in the 90s and couldn’t track, I’m gonna try really hard not to track it with my kids.

JoAnn Crohn (10:25.935)

Well, okay, so here’s the line though, because I, something like this happened last night to me and like Josh got mad at me for doing it, but I didn’t think I did anything wrong. So I might’ve done something wrong. I come home after mountain biking and my daughter’s gone. Like it’s seven o’clock at night and my husband and son are like in his office. And I’m like, where’s Cam? And my husband’s like, I don’t know. She was just here and she’s not here anymore.

And I’m like, well, her car’s gone. And I like pulled up Life 360 and I’m like, she’s like going down like the street. She’s driving away from the house. And I’m thinking to myself, I’m watching her and I’m like, oh, oh, she’s going to Pilates. And I was looking at the time and Pilates starts at like the hour. So like, you know, six o’clock, seven o’clock. And she had just left at like 6.55. Oh, she’s going to be at Pilates. And Josh is like, yeah, yeah, she’s there. What? OK, first of all, she’s 16.

Brie Tucker (11:14.19)

Okay.

JoAnn Crohn (11:25.337)

She told no one where she was going. She just left the house.

Brie Tucker (11:27.17)

That is it. That is it. Like I have that say, get unhinged when my kids just get up and leave the house and don’t say bye, don’t say where they’re going. And I have asked them before, I want you to at least say, bye mom, I’m leaving. Like that’s a bare minimum. And my daughter does bring back to me, I’m going to guess maybe this was your daughter’s thought process.

She’s like, why do I need to tell you? You have Life360. You can track me everywhere I go. So you just look at the phone and you’ll see that I’m not at the house. And I’m like, that’s not the point. And then I’m like, wait, is it the point? Like I’m wondering now.

JoAnn Crohn (12:06.58)

and you’re like, but I’m trying to practice 90s parenting and I can’t do it if you don’t

Brie Tucker (12:15.918)

care if you make six stops like while you’re out and about or like you’re like hey we’re gonna go to subway with my friends and then you guys end up going off doing something else but I mean I don’t know

JoAnn Crohn (12:25.871)

It’s like, I don’t want to track you every second of the day. I actually had to tell my son that he needs to tell me too, because he started leaving, since my daughter started leaving without telling me. He started leaving just to go around the neighborhood and stuff. I spent five minutes looking for him in the house, and I was like, Eric, Eric. I have five minutes, because Life360 told me he was in the house, but he was actually in the park behind the house, but I didn’t know to look there.

Brie Tucker (12:38.765)

Mm.

Brie Tucker (12:46.54)

That’s even… Yeah.

Brie Tucker (12:56.258)

That would have gotten to me too. Especially because he’s younger. Like, yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (12:56.717)

It’s like, yes.

But he does comply with it. He’s like, mom, I’m going to the park. I’m like, okay, Thanks for letting me know. Yes. So that’s our current struggle guys with our kids. We want to tell you some other stories that happened with our kids right after this.

Brie Tucker (13:24.532)

Okay, so I have a very funny one that was the first one to pop into my head because it happened last night. So, we had a lot of like leftover takeover, take out food boxes in the fridge and it was bugging me. And I’m like, you know what, I am not cooking a whole meal tonight when we have like more than enough food in the fridge for all of us to eat and get cleaned out. So I forwent, I ignored the meal plan and instead I went with we’re gonna eat leftovers.

My husband totally cool with it. He’s the one who always use leftovers in the house, but my daughter decided that was just wrong. Ugh, I don’t want to eat any of that food. I’m like, then why do you bring it home and leave it in the fridge and then never eat it for like two weeks till it starts to grow legs. And then I finally throw it away. And she’s like, I just don’t feel like eating it. So then she went upstairs to her room. Two hours passed by and I’m like, honey, it’s like nine. She goes to bed. She hasn’t eaten yet.

He’s like, that’s fine, that’s her deal. So I go in her room and I’m like, have you eaten tonight? She goes, no, there’s nothing good to eat. I’m like, whatever, you’re gonna get sick. No, I’m not, I’ll be fine. I go, okay, fine, but you know what? You do not get to miss school tomorrow because you wake up with a migraine or you’re sick or you’re nauseous or you don’t feel good because you didn’t eat. So yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (14:24.623)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (14:46.082)

I don’t understand why my 16 year old thought it was a good idea to go on a hunger strike because she didn’t like the dinner choices last night. I feel like I went back to like having my two year old.

JoAnn Crohn (14:54.905)

Did she have a migraine this morning?

Brie Tucker (14:57.198)

No, no, she made it very clear and she said, she was like, fine, no problem. So even if she wasn’t feeling good knowing my daughter, she’s got that personality where she wouldn’t have admitted it come hell or high water because she put her foot down yesterday. So.

JoAnn Crohn (15:12.591)

Bree, do you have a migraine today? Could it be related? No. Yes. Okay.

Brie Tucker (15:14.796)

Yes, I do. I did. No, well, yes and no. Like mine was dehydration. I did not drink enough last night. I could feel it coming. I had a busy age away meeting, man. No, no.

JoAnn Crohn (15:28.633)

Those HOA meetings, man, I don’t know. I always picture Parks and Rec, the TV show, with the city council meetings. It’s close to the S, I don’t know why. man.

Brie Tucker (15:35.542)

It’s close to that, yes. It’s very close to that. Somebody got thrown out last night. We’ll leave it at that, because that’s not the point of this one. yeah. Yeah, so my daughter went on a hunger strike because of leftovers. What is your story?

JoAnn Crohn (15:44.099)

That’s a crazy HOA meeting. I, so we’ve had to save our kids for multiple things. There was, we live in Arizona and if you’re not all familiar with Arizona, we have scorpions here. Now they sound a lot worse than they are, but they’re pretty bad. They’re like, we didn’t have scorpions in Tucson. I don’t get why Phoenix has so many scorpions.

Brie Tucker (15:54.591)

Ugh, yeah.

Brie Tucker (16:13.794)

So they have them, but just not as many. People didn’t have problems like they do up here.

JoAnn Crohn (16:16.267)

Yeah, they weren’t in the homes. They weren’t anywhere in the house. But like here, like we get

Brie Tucker (16:21.016)

Tucson’s still kind of like spread out though. There’s space in Tucson where I feel like we’re on top of one another in Phoenix. No? Okay.

JoAnn Crohn (16:26.763)

No, it’s really not that different. There’s not a lot of new development. I know that new development really gets the scorpions out of their hiding places and they have to go find new habitats to live. So that could have something to do with it. But there’s scorpions everywhere and they look like tiny. If you looked at the palm of your hand and the circle in your hand, if you cup your hand, it makes that circle. That’s about the size of a scorpion that you see normally here.

It’s very, very rare to see the huge big ones. And when the huge big ones are there, I like scream and run the other direction.

Brie Tucker (17:05.368)

as fast as you can, cause those suckers are quick.

JoAnn Crohn (17:07.919)

as fast as you can. But the little ones, we’re a little vicious to the scorpions. So I’m sorry, any of your scorpion lovers here, I’m a scorpion murderer because those things hurt. hurt. I mean, my husband has gotten stung by a scorpion. He put his hand down on one on the floor. I have never heard Josh scream. I heard him scream that time.

Brie Tucker (17:19.252)

So am I yeah Miguel will save them and I’m like, hell no

Brie Tucker (17:30.19)

JoAnn Crohn (17:35.599)

He screamed, he was on the couch for like two hours with a bag of frozen peas on his arm and you have to stay as still as possible because if your heart rate raises, the poison moves closer to your heart. I mean, that is how these things are. They’re not to be toyed with. So I’m here defending my stance as a scorpion murderer to tell you that they need to all die. so I…

Brie Tucker (17:45.452)

and moves the poison through the blood.

Brie Tucker (17:51.086)

You

JoAnn Crohn (18:04.279)

My daughter was probably seven or eight and she was, she had some blankets around her. She was just playing around. I was in my bedroom. We had like a little balcony that went off our bedroom. She went off the balcony and not she went off onto the balcony and she took the blankets off. And I see out of the corner of my eye, a scorpion right on her arm, her upper arm. Like it was on the blankets and it traveled to her. And immediately she’s like,

Brie Tucker (18:06.818)

Mm-hmm.

JoAnn Crohn (18:34.575)

Like anyone would be, mom, a scorpion. And I don’t know where this comes from. It’s like a mama bear instinct. I take the edge of my hand and I like smack it off her hand. And I can’t, I don’t even know where I got the courage to do that. I did not get stung. That scorpion died, like died right there. Because after it was on the ground, I took my shoe off and I’m like, you’re dying.

Brie Tucker (18:36.076)

Yeah. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (19:00.622)

It made it made pulp fiction look gentle. Gotcha.

JoAnn Crohn (19:03.363)

Like, because that’s how you deal with scorpions. Yes, yes. So it’s like, it’s funny because if you think of me looking at a scorpion, now we’re going to like progress a few years down the road. We’re walking in San Diego. We go on a family vacation in San Diego, me, my husband, my two kids. And we turn around and all of a sudden my son, who is like five or six at the time, has a popsicle stick in his mouth.

He wasn’t eating a popsicle. We didn’t buy him any popsicles. He had found a popsicle stick on the ground and had put it in his mouth. And my, I know, my husband who is so much more like germ phobic than I am, I’m just like, ah, a little dirt won’t hurt. Let’s strengthen the immune system there.

Think of me slapping the scorpion off my daughter. This is what my husband did with the popsicle stick. He’s like, Eric, the popsicle stick flies out of Eric’s mouth and Eric’s like, what happened there? And we’re like, babe, you don’t put used popsicle sticks in your mouth. That’s no.

Brie Tucker (20:19.658)

my God, what was on that popsicle stick? Okay, will, similar area. Let’s see, flashback to my kids were probably like two and three, three and four at the most. We were at a local park by our house and we’re all just kind of playing around in the grass, whatever. And my daughter had ran off and was like looking at flowers and she comes back.

JoAnn Crohn (20:23.588)

I don’t know, he’s fine.

Brie Tucker (20:49.42)

with something in her mouth and I’m like, what is that? And it, yeah, it was a glass crack pipe. Yeah. It was by her mouth. Like I don’t remember if she put it in or by it. I wouldn’t say it was by it and I freaked out, right? Right? And we are like, I don’t know. It was, we had walked to the park and pulling the kids in a wagon. So I wouldn’t say it was like a 20 minute walk back to our house. And I’m like, I’m not waiting that long.

JoAnn Crohn (20:57.945)

She put a quick-

Brie Tucker (21:18.914)

So I run up to these houses around the park. I’m knocking like a crazy lady. I went to like two houses before somebody answered the door, probably because they were like, who is this crazy lady screaming while knocking, please open the door. And then like the first person opened the door, I’m all like, my daughter, she picked up this crack pipe at the park and the lady goes, say no more, bathroom’s right there. Like, ran us in. She caught poison control even, like while I’m in there washing her.

JoAnn Crohn (21:44.838)

my goodness.

Brie Tucker (21:49.302)

love other moms. Like we just understand. My husband at the time was like, okay, I think you’re kind of like reacting crazy. And he was, mean, he both, he did agree it was a bad situation, but he thought I was take it. Cause you know me and I think the listeners know me. I go to a level 10 in like a split second when I freaked out about something. So, but thank God for the mom that opened the door to the crazy lady. Cause Audrey had a crack pipe.

JoAnn Crohn (21:51.79)

Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (22:14.827)

my gosh. my gosh. well, if you’re enjoying these stories, we have a few more for you right after this. 

So one thing I always think of like with my kids is like, you know how kids say things that are kind of like embarrassing sometimes or a little disturbing. My daughter is like, was so good at those when she was younger. And I mean, she still says them now, but she says them in like the sarcastic funny way. Like she is hilarious. She’s like the funniest person in the world. And she knows this and she would admit this. She’s like, I’m very funny. I’m like, you are very funny. But when she was younger.

Brie Tucker (22:38.99)

yes, yes!

JoAnn Crohn (22:58.497)

She had, we went to Scotland on a family trip and we went to go see Hollyrod Castle, which is in Scotland. And they talked about the murder of Queen Mary because you know, that royal family, they just killed each other. Especially when Henry VIII was involved, my goodness.

Brie Tucker (23:01.838)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (23:11.426)

know, man.

Brie Tucker (23:15.662)

but it made for a great musical. We’ll leave it at that. Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (23:18.113)

Yeah, six. Six is wonderful. But we were walking away and here she was, a little three year old, turning up to us and be like, but I want to see where Queen Mary died. Where did she die? I want to go see where she died. And we’re like, you’re three. OK, this isn’t creepy. This isn’t creepy.

Brie Tucker (23:36.878)

And don’t let somebody walk by and hear that sentence out of context. But where did she die? Like, I wanna see where she died.

JoAnn Crohn (23:43.919)

But where did she die? And it’s funny, because I talked to her about it now and she has a fascination in history. And so she’s just like, I just wanted to like see the history. I don’t know why you guys think it was such a big deal. I’m like, it wasn’t a big deal, but having a three year old. I mean, it was that and then contrast it with once I was having this discussion.

Brie Tucker (23:53.037)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (23:59.298)

You’re like, you don’t understand. You were three. Yeah, that’s what made it weird.

JoAnn Crohn (24:11.695)

with her about body habits and hygiene and everything. She was really young, like four. We just talked about picking noses because she was picking your nose. I’m like, you have to get that stuff out of your nose, but just don’t do it in front of people. Make sure you have it. Do it in the bathroom or something like that. Use a tissue. Yeah, just instructing in a general way.

Brie Tucker (24:15.937)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (24:32.418)

Yeah, and use a tissue, then you don’t have to flick it off your finger. Yeah. Or eat it. Like kids do. Okay, sorry, go on.

JoAnn Crohn (24:42.031)

So we were at this, we had family over to our house. I think it was a holiday or something. And all of a sudden, her, this little four year old in this little floral dress and stuff, like stops like mid-sentence and starts going up the stairs. And I’m like, hey Cam, where are you going? And she’s like, I’m gonna go pick my nose. I’m like, okay.

Brie Tucker (25:01.095)

my God. Like, like.

Brie Tucker (25:06.378)

See you later, guys!

JoAnn Crohn (25:07.203)

Yep, I’m gonna go pick my nose, but she’s always very adult about it and very matter of fact. And I think that’s always what has been so hilarious. It’s just like, this is how things are and it’s okay. So it’s funny. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (25:16.457)

my god.

Brie Tucker (25:22.254)

See I’m trying to think okay, I have two One this one was the first time I took my kids to Mexico on a trip because again like we’re in Arizona guys It’s closer to go to to Mexico than it is, California. So But anyway, like when we went to Mexico and we got a condo and it was all three of the kids and Miguel and I and

we decided it would be cheaper to like buy our food down there in Mexico and then like make food in the condo and stuff rather than going out to eat all the time. So we’re at the grocery store and the kids will not leave Miguel’s on my side. My kids won’t and they’re probably like 13 and 12 and we’re going around and I’m like, what do you guys want to eat? And they’re like, I don’t care. I don’t care. Is there anything normal here? And I’m like, it’s a grocery store. Everything is normal here. So I pick out a bag of Doritos. I’m like,

You guys want these? And I pick up a bag of like potato chips. Or you want these? And they both looked at each other and looked at me they’re like, we don’t know what those are. And I’m like, what? It says Doritos right here. And they’re like, but everything’s in Spanish. And I’m like, my God, it’s the exact same bag. The word Doritos with like maybe one accent over one letter. It’s just, you can see in the bag. It’s the same chips. And they’re like, we don’t know what that says in Spanish. You could say anything. I’m like, Miguel had to talk me.

JoAnn Crohn (26:44.185)

Go learn Spanish, child.

Brie Tucker (26:45.888)

that kid had, yeah, Miguel had to talk me off a ledge there. I was like, what? Yeah, yeah, it’s a, don’t, where’s the food that, where’s the normal food? It’s all normal food, kids. It’s just in a different language. Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (26:50.073)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (27:01.059)

Yeah. My kids get so embarrassed when I try to speak like the nation’s language in the nation. They’re like, mom, like when I, when we went down to Mexico and I was speaking Spanish, she’s like, mom, don’t speak Spanish. Obviously I am not fluent. I do not have a perfect accent. I of course mispronounce words, but I am trying. And she’s like, mom, you sound like a gringo. I’m like, I am. I am one. It doesn’t matter. Yeah, I am.

Brie Tucker (27:07.254)

Brie Tucker (27:20.674)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (27:25.206)

Yeah, have you checked?

JoAnn Crohn (27:30.671)

And so they got on me about that. So like I take it to the extreme since they get on me about everything And we’re like we travel a lot. We travel a lot. So don’t like when I say like, yeah We went to Mexico with Paris don’t though like it’s very weird having that come out of my mouth because I did not travel as a child at all and I

Brie Tucker (27:40.067)

Mm-hmm.

Brie Tucker (27:49.07)

But as this episode airs, young lady, you’ll be in France, so.

JoAnn Crohn (27:52.845)

I will be in France. Yeah. So we are, we’re going to France. and we’ve been before, but I was this morning, I dressed up in my outfit from Armour. I actually told Armour, also a podcast sponsor guys are amazing. I was like, please send me. Outfits that make me look like a chic Parisian and not an American tourist. So I got this lovely.

Brie Tucker (28:17.752)

Good idea!

JoAnn Crohn (28:19.221)

shirt dress that was very Parisian and I was wearing it with a trench coat this morning and I was sitting in Starbucks and I told Eric I’m like I am pretending I’m in a Paris cafe I am sipping my my cold brew which is not very Parisian I would have like a little croissant or something I’m sipping my cold brew and he’s like yep you’re not in a Paris cafe and I’m like but I’ll speak French his eyes go so wide

Brie Tucker (28:44.353)

Hahaha

JoAnn Crohn (28:48.141)

because I’ve embarrassed him so much with my little French imitation, which I would never use. I only do it just to embarrass them. And he’s like, mom, don’t do that in public.

It’s like the kind of things we do to get a rise out of our kids too, because sometimes their sensitivities about the things we do are just so out there. We’re like, let’s just take it all the way.

Brie Tucker (29:04.002)

Yeah.

Brie Tucker (29:08.949)

Exactly.

Brie Tucker (29:15.894)

It’s so perfect, it is so perfect. 100, I’m trying to think, let’s see. I don’t have one of me embarrassing them at the moment. mean, there’s so many to pick from. I’m sure if my kids were here, they could share a billion. Yeah. Okay, I’ve got two.

JoAnn Crohn (29:18.71)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (29:29.337)

They would get embarrassed about anything, anything at all. If I dance in public, showed them my pictures of me at the conference at Funnel Hacking Live, dancing on the chairs and doing my light sticks. my gosh. As soon as my son saw it, he averted his eyes and he’s like, my gosh. And I don’t do it. It’s like everybody was, everybody was out, like not every, but there were tons of people dancing on their chairs too. It wasn’t like I was doing this weird thing.

Brie Tucker (29:39.028)

I did not.

Brie Tucker (29:53.896)

If they were there, they would have gotten it, but they’re not. And so they think…

JoAnn Crohn (29:58.349)

I don’t think they would have. I thought they would have sat in their chairs the entire time and been so embarrassed about the whole environment. That’s what they did when I brought them to Mexico, and it was like that. yeah.

Brie Tucker (30:08.0)

Really? that’s a bummer. Well, you know what, with age comes that whole I don’t give a crap. Like I used to refuse to leave the house without being in full makeup and now I only put on makeup when I know I have to be on camera. And even then it’s only half on sometimes. So it’s crazy how that’s different. That’s crazy. Okay, wait, I have two more good ones. All right. So this happened last week. My oldest had a full on flat tire, Joanne. Like.

JoAnn Crohn (30:17.295)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (30:23.427)

Mm-hmm. Okay.

JoAnn Crohn (30:32.121)

Uh-huh.

Brie Tucker (30:32.704)

Like he got he pulled into the house like because they go back he goes back and forth between his dad’s house and mine And so it was friday. It’s his transition day. He came over here and i’m like and And I walk outside or actually, know miguel walks in because he he showed up like a few minutes after him and was like Do know robert has a flat tire and i’m like what i go out there and it’s completely flat guys. I there is no air in the back driver’s side tire now, you might be asking yourself why you make such a big deal about this

Well, because then we immediately went to Robert and was like, hey Robert, how’d you get a flat tire? And he goes, what are you talking about? I have flat tire? We’re like, yeah. And he goes, well, maybe it just needs a little bit more air. We’re like, no, kind of more than that. He comes downstairs and he looks at it he just goes, can I borrow your car? gotta go to work in a while. We’re just like, didn’t even like, nothing. Not even a slight tinge of fear of the flat tire. How long was that kid driving on it? I got no answer. And I’m like,

JoAnn Crohn (31:31.012)

Yeah.

Brie Tucker (31:31.896)

He’s like, I didn’t see it. How could you not see it? It literally shows up in your side view mirror. Are you not checking your mirrors? Nevermind, don’t answer that. I don’t wanna know. Like, mm-mm. So there is that one. But my favorite one, the top tier of things my kids have said that made me go, what the hell? We were filling out an intake form at a doctor’s office and my kiddo like wanted to do the majority of it themselves, but they also were trying to get done quickly.

So I was like, listen, I’ll just read you and you just tell me the answer and I’ll write it really fast. And so the question was, and I wanted to be really respectful of their wanting to do their own thing. And so I’m like, the question asks, is there sometimes no food in your house? Cause it was going through like a checklist of questions for child safety, right? And my kid goes, yes, sometimes there is no food in the house. And I’m like, wait, what? And they were like, well, I mean,

Sometimes there’s just nothing to eat. And I’m like, wait a second, we’ll come back to that one. The next question is, do you not always have clean clothes to wear to school and such? And again, my child said yes. And I put the pin down, I’m like, okay, we need to talk. I was trying to let you answer this on your own, but that’s not, they’re not asked, because I was like, how do we not have food? Well, there’s nothing good to eat. I’m like, that’s not what the question says.

JoAnn Crohn (32:55.727)

There we go. That’s not it. Yeah.

Brie Tucker (32:58.274)

Question says, there any food? And then I’m like, how do you not have clean clothes? And my child’s answer was, well, if I didn’t have time to do my laundry that week. And I’m like, that’s not what they made. That is not.

JoAnn Crohn (33:10.404)

Yeah.

JoAnn Crohn (33:13.871)

I know it’s like you try to give the independence and then like it’s not even their fault that question is so ambiguously worded It’s so ambiguously worded

Brie Tucker (33:18.966)

you’re gonna get CPS? Well they’re gonna get CPS called on me. I’m gonna have Child Protective Services knocking at my door and I’ll be like go up and look at our pantry. She will tell you there’s nothing in there to eat.

JoAnn Crohn (33:31.329)

Yeah, but it’s like one of those things that’s like, I think that it puts a lot of fear in us as moms because that is ambiguously worded. If any child was answering that, they would answer the same as your children. They would be like completely black and white thinking, do I have food to eat? No, I don’t like any food to eat. So no, like it’s just how kids think. There’s no nuance. There’s nothing. So it’s like to ask that food that…

Brie Tucker (33:42.786)

Yeah.

Brie Tucker (33:52.685)

Mm-hmm.

JoAnn Crohn (33:56.911)

question of a child, you really have to specify exactly what you’re asking. Be like, does it mean no good food? It means your belly, you’re starving all the time. Yeah, so I have a thing with those questions.

Brie Tucker (34:02.678)

Yes.

It doesn’t mean that.

Brie Tucker (34:13.474)

Okay, wait, what about your one, you told me this before we started recording about a butterscotch story.

JoAnn Crohn (34:19.567)

when Camden was four, she took out like a butterscotch out of the trash, like a candy. We just threw it away, which happened before we really had to talk with her, be like, it’s in the trash, it’s in the trash, babe. I mean, she was three. She was three, but she was eating this butterscotch and she’s like, hmm. We’re like, do you like it? And she’s like, yeah, I could taste the butter, but where’s the scotch?

Brie Tucker (34:31.775)

Hahaha!

Brie Tucker (34:48.83)

if she knew what it could Scotch. I don’t know.

JoAnn Crohn (34:49.082)

She just, she didn’t know what scotch was. She’s like, what taste am I looking for here? I don’t know.

Brie Tucker (34:55.278)

doesn’t have to write. It doesn’t taste like the tape I licked yesterday, because I could. Remember, like, they’re young. They do silly things. Actually, no, four is the age of glue eating. For a lot of kids. For a lot of kids.

JoAnn Crohn (35:03.0)

Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (35:08.825)

She didn’t do that, thankfully. But I remember more about her than I do about Eric because I had her and Eric at the same time and I was very tired, very sleep deprived because of Eric. So I find many of my memories of him, I don’t have that many just because of that. I almost wish I would have written them down because those years are kind of a blur. mean, sleep deprivation is real.

Brie Tucker (35:28.248)

Yeah.

Brie Tucker (35:31.638)

You know, that’s a real thing too. Cause like, yeah, when we were working on this, I was like trying to think of stories and most of them, yeah, like they’re all recent. Like I’m really struggling to go back to the memories of them being really little. I think that’s,

JoAnn Crohn (35:48.961)

Or like a stress induced stuff too, like when you were in periods of really high stress, your memories just aren’t as solid.

Brie Tucker (35:54.134)

Yeah. Yeah. So I’m curious, like, do any of these stories resonate with you? What are some of the really good stories that you have from your kids when they were little that just make you go, my God, I can’t believe it happened and that we lived.

JoAnn Crohn (36:05.315)

Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (36:09.869)

Yes, please, please email us. Hello at no guilt mom, your stories, and we want to invite you to come on the podcast and tell your story. We think that would be a lot of fun to hear directly from you. So email us hello at no guilt mom with your kids stories. And you might be getting an email back for an invitation to come on the show.

Brie Tucker (36:29.374)

Yes, I want to do that. I think it’d be so much fun. So come and you know where else they can come hang out with us too and get and also could share some of this. We do have a free No Guilt Mom podcast group on Facebook. You can come and join. We chat with you in there. We share story ideas, all of that jazz. It’s fun.

JoAnn Crohn (36:32.888)

Yes.

JoAnn Crohn (36:43.021)

Yes, go to the Facebook group.

JoAnn Crohn (36:48.303)

Everything and you get to chat with other moms. until next time remember the best moms are happy mom Take care of you and we’ll talk to you later

Brie Tucker (36:57.346)

Thanks for stopping by.