When You Need the Positivity: My Struggle with Anxiety
How do you words and thoughts shape you?
You hear all the time about the power of positive thinking. What happens when all you can think of is failure?
For me, it caused my entire body to crash down. That’s why you and I both need the reminder:
Love the necklace? Me too! Scroll to the bottom for all the details and where you can get one of your own.
Here’s why I wear it:
My Anxiety Story
When I decided to grow Whimsicle – I dived into a huge anxiety-filled spiral.
It started a year ago this past July. I wanted to take my company to the next level.
All good news, right?
My hubby and I decided to enroll our two-year-old son in preschool three times a week. This would give me the extra time that I needed to work.
Woo hoo! I should be jumping up-and-down and screaming from the rooftops.
That’s not what happened.
The first day I dropped him off, I drove to my local coffee shop to type out a few posts. Sitting down with my tea, I started to type.
That’s when the doubt crept in. The guilt.
“I’m spending so much money sending my son to preschool when I could be taking care of him at home. Why can’t I do both? Work and play with my toddler. Other women do it. What kind of mother am I?”
Do you have any of these thoughts?
Then, I delivered the final blow.
“This is such a waste of money. I’m just going to fail.”
And that’s the thought that occupied most of my waking hours.
“I’m not worth this investment. I’m going to fail”
I’m going to fail
I’m going to fail.
When you think that day after day, your body responds. My body did with a racing heart rate and panic attacks. In addition, I felt light headed whenever I sat down at my computer.
My stomach also got in on the game.
One afternoon I sat down to eat leftover ravioli for lunch. After I finished, my stomach seized up with an intense pain.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! went my heart as it shook my entire body. I could barely stand up.
Honestly, I say without jest, I believed that I was dying.
What was wrong with me? My doctor guessed two things:
- I probably had the start of an ulcer. With my family history and symptoms, it was a reasonable assumption.
- I had an anxiety disorder.
For the latter, she prescribed me Lexapro and referred me to a counselor.
Changing my Thought Process
Every Wednesday, for 3 months, I sat in my psychologist’s office and I told her my thoughts, my worries, my fears.
How I was afraid I would look silly, or stupid. How I didn’t know if I could make this business work.
She taught me how to reframe these anxiety inducing thought processes. As well as, reminded me, based on the FACTS from my past successes and actions, that I’ m capable.
I got this.
And I do have this. I do.
Now, a year later, I’ve grown Whimsicle far beyond what I thought possible. My anxiety is tamed. I’m off all medication.
What’s more, is that I’m fully aware the power that my thoughts have over my well being.
Wear the Positive
I now choose to keep motivating thoughts close to me.
These tribe necklaces from Cents of Style are my two favorites. They remind me each time I wear them of my intentions and experience.
Is it any wonder why I chose this one?
My other favorite TRIBE necklace is:
With all the negativity and hurt being spewed in the world today, it’s important to keep this reminder close.
The Fashion Friday deal this week is all about these necklaces! The code TRIBE4 will get you one for 50% off. That’s only $11.99 with free shipping. Pretty stellar, right?
Which one would you get?
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JoAnn Crohn
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Thanks for sharing, JoAnn! I’ve basically been paralyzed by the same fears and anxiety…I was on a roll with my blog a couple of years ago, then after a miscarriage in January 2015, my world crashed down. I went into survival mode and am still crawling out from it. Now with our move, no job, and being brand new in a city where I know no one, it seems impossible sometimes. I’ve already decided that once my kiddos are in school (next week), I’m going to commit to therapy and getting back on track…and launching my blog again. I loved writing it and would love if it would actually generate income for me! Thanks for opening up and telling your story-I’m sure I’m not the only one who can relate 🙂
HI Mandy! I’m so sorry about the miscarriage. I had one just before the birth of my son and I know it’s devastating to come back from. You are in a brand new situation and it is completely OK to feel scared and uncertain. You rock for planning to go back to therapy and push through!! Your blog can definitely earn an income for you too 🙂
Hi JoAnn,
Great post and thanks for the honesty. I too suffer from Anxiety and was crippled by it years ago due to fear of failure. It’s great to now be in charge of my days working for myself, but its always going to be something I need to keep an eye on. I LOVE the necklaces, and think it’s a great idea to stay focused on positives as it’s all too easy to be drowned in the negatives.
Thanks again!
HI Chrissy! Anxiety seems to get so many of us 🙂 Maybe it’s a trait of people destined to succeed. That’s what I keep telling myself.
I’m not a mom but I have thoughts of self-doubt every day about the choices I’m making and how I’m spending my time: Why can’t I do more? Other women do it. Why can’t I? Lately, I’m getting better at shifting my expectations when I realize I’m expecting too much of myself. Therapy helped me a lot, too. Though my anxiety tries to tell me differently, I’m learning to accept that it’s okay to do less and even fail because I know now it’s not the end.
Hi Meredith! Yes, it’s definitely OK to do less. I’m learning to set more realistic expectations of what I can get done in a given day. Good to hear that I’m not alone 🙂
I feel like start a blog is very anxiety inducing. When I shared my first post I felt so vulnerable. I was only able to share it because i thought no one would read it but at the same time wanted everyone to read it. If that makes any sense
Totally makes sense Savannah! It is so hard to be vulnerable. Keep going though 🙂 It gets easier.