Why You Need Bad Days as a Mom
We all have bad days as a mom. In fact, just yesterday I wanted to run from my home screaming.
We needed to clean the house and my six-year-old daughter fought me the entire way. I asked her to clean up the living room so I could vacuum. Ten minutes later, I found toys still strewn all over the floor and her at the table playing with her dolls. When I reminded her again, she pouted and responded, “Geez… I’m doing it. I’m doing it”.
My two-year-old son was helping a little too much. When he saw me mopping, he grabbed the mop from me, dunked it in the dirty mop water and sloshed the liquid all over the floor.
“OK, Dude. Let me mop now.”
“NOOO!!”
Sigh.
Recently I saw a movie called Hector and the Search for Happiness. Hector (Simon Pegg) is a psychiatrist who wants to discover how to better help his clients and make them happy. The problem is that he doesn’t even know if he’s happy himself. He leaves his comfortable life, girlfriend, and clients to travel around the world in the search for happiness. Along the way he experiences incredible luxury, gets kidnapped in the depths of Africa and visits his old college flame. Amidst all the bad times, the trip makes him incredibly happy. What he finds is (SPOILER ALERT) that to be happy, you must have those moments of fear and those flashes of sadness to truly appreciate the good times.
You need the bad days to love the good ones.
Before we had kids, my husband and I used to go out every weekend. We saw every big movie on opening weekend. We dined at tons of restaurants. We hung out with friends and returned home at 1 in the morning. This was our normal. So when it came time for a truly special occasion, we sought out expensive events and trips such as seeing a Broadway show or traveling to London. We needed more to deem it special.
A post appeared on Scary Mommy recently decrying mom’s new description of “Me Time.” It is incredibly funny and holds a lot of truth. The author argues that getting her hair cut and being in the bathroom alone does not count as “me” time. These are simple tasks meant to keep you well groomed and presentable, but should not be confused with actual relaxation and time for yourself. Kind of true story.
However, I don’t completely agree. Being a mom and not having unlimited time to myself has led me to appreciate the little luxuries even more.
Going to see a movie is a fanatstic event for me and my hubby. I look forward to it for days! Going out to dinner alone and having adult conversation is like Disneyland! Even my more mundane tasks I do with relish because I crave that simple moment of being alone.
My daughter heard me on the phone with my mom the other day. During the conversation, she and my son were playing loudly in the same room. I mentioned to my mom how I’m never alone.
My daughter chimed in, “That’s not true, you went to CVS alone a couple of weeks ago.”
That’s right. And it was a glorious 10 minute trip. I drove by myself in my car, cranked up my music, parked without having to unbuckle everyone and hurry them into the store. I then perused the aisles, admired the magazines and office supplies and then came home. 10 minutes in CVS was amazing! Before kids, the trip would have been a mild annoyance to pick up cold medicine. Now, its awesome.
I need the bad days to fully appreciate the good ones.
In between the whining and the complaining, there are the instances where my son gives me a kiss or my daughter leans in close with a card she made for me. There are the “Mama, I love you’s” and my son walking with his tiny hand in mine. Those are special. They fill me with glee.
I truly love the good moments because of the bad days.
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Awesome post. Thanks for making me feel better.
Hi Jill!! Being a mom is tough. I’m sure you are doing a fantastic job 🙂
This was great and so true. Taking a shower alone with a locked door is a luxury as is going anywhere alone, or even with one child! Great post! (I found it through Pinterest!)
Thanks Mim! You gain such an appreciation for the little joys in life when you have kids 🙂